Identifying as Bi
Interesting discussion has started on the dykewrite blog about bisexuality.
From VASpider:
We'll start off with an essay question: Many (thought certainly not all) lesbians seem to go through a stage where they identify as bisexual before they come out completely (either to themselves or just in general). Did you go through this as a stage in your self-assessment, and if you did, do you still identify yourself as bisexual?
If you don't, what let you know that this was not the correct identification for yourself? How did you go through the process of self-identifying? If you've always known, how do you deal with someone who's coming out of that stage -- whether they come to identify themselves as straight or lesbian in the end?
If you still identify yourself as bisexual: how do you deal with people who tell you "It's just a phase?" Do you find yourself encountering that more often from the queer community, from straights, or haven't you noticed a difference?

I dated both men and women through college, but I never identified as Bi. So, I never went through a stage declaring myself as Bi then gay. At the time, I was thinking "I am not quite sure what I am, " but I knew the Bi label wasn't a correct identification for me. I just was not that into guys. Oddly, as a small tangent, I've always seemed to get along better with my male friends than female friends. Not that I don't love my female friends.. I do. But I've never had the problem of falling for a guy friend and vice versa. Well, except for one, but when he told me he was interested in a relationship, I told him I was a lesbian, and his response was "Oh, so the rumors are true." "Rumor? No no. Not a rumor. And which one of my sleazy exes told you? Bitches."

Being close with other lesbians can be tricky. Not always - but sometimes. There's always the "potential" looming in the background, and small, sincere gestures can be misinterpreted and lead to irreversible consequences. So can innocent flirting. Which I've learned long ago to not do with certain people ... lest they take it the wrong way. But back to being Bi ...

I have a few exes who identify as Bi. Two have even married men, but both are divorced now, so go figure. I also have a few friends who indentify as Bi. I don't give it too much thought -- I've always assumed that eventually, when you settle in with someone for the long haul, you have to make a .. for lack of a better word decision (albeit a "temporary" one) unless you have the luxury of having a husband and a wife simultaneously. In which case, I'd love to hear about that ... at the cost of $150 per hour, when I have my MD. Right now, that's just way too much drama, honey. Seriously, though, I do know people who have ended a long-term relationship with a man and began a new one with a woman (or the other way around), and it's worked out fine. It's just not an option for me.
I wouldn't call identifying as Bi a phase, as VA Spider asks. Some people are quite comfortable with both sexes and can be emotionally and sexually fulfilled by both. To think that's not possible, in my opinion, is naive. Love knows no boundaries. I firmly believe you can't control who you fall in love with. Nor can you control who falls in love with you. You can only act responsibly with people's feelings, respect them, and be patient.