Head Rush: Days of Yore...

August 07, 2002

Days of Yore...

Days of Yore...
Nothing like going to school with 18 year olds to make me feel really ancient. Yesterday afternoon, I arrived at school and happened upon two of my classmates involved in a very animated discussion. As I walked up to join them, I heard the young woman giggle and ask the young gentleman “So, you like Bush?” His reply “Yeah, I guess. Pretty cool.” Impressed with their interest in current events and politics (at 18, I was decidedly uninterested in just about everything) I was about to open my mouth and start offering my two cents on the state of foreign affairs when the young woman replied “I saw them live once – they are an awesome band.”

Oh.
That Bush. I joined my classmates and chuckled as I explained to them that I thought they were talking about our President and how that was really revealing of my old age. They laughed and said “Oh come on. You’re not that old. What, 30-something?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
“Hey, can you buy us beer?” the guy laughed, jokingly.

Twenty minutes later, as our professor was gathering up the acids and bases for our lab experiment, several more of my classmates started talking about going out drinking. At first I thought, “Well, that would be nice. Everyone going out for a beer to commiserate when this is over…” And as soon as that thought entered my head, they all started whipping out fake IDs to compare, like a teen version of Show and Tell.
“Dude, that sooo does not even look like you.”
“Yeah, but it works. I never get stopped or questioned.”
“Is that a real New York license?”
“Yeah, It’s my friend’s. It’s a dup.”
“I am using my sister’s old license. We kind of look alike, don’t you think?”
“I can’t wait until I am 21 so I can stop worrying about getting busted for having this. I got pulled over last week by a cop for speeding and almost gave him the wrong license.”
“Asshole, just tell the cop you’re holding it for a friend. That’s what I did. They can’t do anything to you. Can’t touch you. Say your friend left it at your house, and you’re holding it for him.”
“Cool.”
One of my classmates saw me laughing and asked me “Did you ever have a fake ID?”
I replied “No, they didn’t have ID’s way back when I grew up.”
“No, seriously. Did you?”
“I refuse to answer that on the grounds that I may incriminate myself.”
“Ha! I bet you did.”
So I offered “I haven’t had a fake ID in … [counting in my head] 16 years. That was in 1986.”

“DUDE, I was 2 when you were my age!! Cool!”

And then it hit me. If I could scurry away some of the hydrochloric acid that was just placed in front of me by my absent-minded professor, I could disfigure this kid’s face so badly that no ID in the world could help identify him.

Little bastards.

Posted by LA at August 07, 2002 10:33 AM

Comments

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