I'm starting to seriously question the theory of evolution.
A few weeks ago, I was pondering the evolutionary history of insects. We have millions of species of them, yet they never seem to evolve. In other words, they never seem to get any smarter. I mean, what's the deal with bees? Those annoying little bastards fly into me every god damn minute like I'm not even there, forcing me to swat at them, knock them down and then kill them.
And what purpose do gnats and no-see-ums serve? Do birds really need to eat more than seeds, mosquitos and crickets?
With all the reproducing they do, all that egg laying nonsense, one would think that some gene would finally mutate and an intelligent insect would somehow evolve. Big deal so they can colonize, build nests, scout out danger and worship some pheromone-squirting queen with PMS. Lesbians do that all the time.
What I want to know is, why can't they learn to leave me the fuck alone!!! (Um, ditto the lesbian thing here, too.)
Then there's my neighbor. He's been painting his house for 2 weeks, wearing the same disgusting shorts and no shirt every day. And he has only finished priming one side of his house. To boot, he's fallen off his ladder and yelled "Fuck!" at least 6 times since I've been outside. (I must point out that I have only been outside for 25 minutes.)
Make that 7.
Did someone say Sigourney Weaver!
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