This just in from the new Mensans with ADD list:

Okay, so who has watched the TV series "Numbers" on CBS?

By the way, I'd like to think the dollar went into an alternate
dimension where it was used towards the purchase of a new gwardnick.

::blink, blink::

And I thought I had issues...

Recently, my Mensa membership came up for renewal, and I was contemplating if I should shell out the $52 fee so I can have the privilege of carrying around a gay little laminated card (which, I don't do ... anymore) and read their cutesy little monthly magazine, the Mensa Bulletin (ranked right up there with Reader's Digest for fine bathroom reading literature). Oh yes, and dine locally with other members.

As a Mensa member, you would think I would learn quickly from past mistakes... but oh, no. Not me. Not this genius.

Two years ago, I went to my first Mensa dinner. 15 seconds into the restaurant where the dinner was being held, I was in a full on anxiety attack as I realized that the wife and I probably lowered the average age by about 20 years. While the people were very interesting as individuals, and only a small percentage of them were actually pocket-protector wearing geeks, I got absolutely nothing out the group as a whole. In a word, BORING.

Discouraged, I decided to wait a while, and maybe try again down the road. Like, when I am 87.

So, earlier tonight, while procrastinating doing my biochem homework and prompted by the email renewal reminder, I decided to see if there have been any changes to the Mensa web site and if there was anything new in my local group that might interest me. (Like I said, not a fast learner.) I quickly discovered that there was a new Special Interest Group for Mensans added recently: Mensans with ADD/ADHD.

This, I thought, has to be good! I eagerly clicked over to the online order form, submitted my $52, and then requested my password to be resent because genius here forgot it.

1 minute later, I am sitting here at my desk having a brain hemmorhage because I am trying to follow the conversation thread.

It was like listening to Good Will Hunting after drinking 97 cans of Red Bull. Nothing like 100 people firing off intellectual jokes and then forgetting to tell the punch line and instead discussing the chemical components of rocket fuel.

Actually ... it wasn't too different from a conversation with my mother.

I think I'll stick to watching the Family Guy reruns and looking at pictures of gorillas with nipple fetishes for my intellectual stimulation.

Having ADD is like having chocolate. It's more fun when you share it with someone else because then you can both be hyper together.

This weekend, I brought my telescope over to my parents' place so we could all watch the lunar eclipse up close and personal. My baby sistah's future in-laws were up from NJ meeting our parents, and Deb and I went over as good will ambassadors (i.e. to make the evening more FUN.)

Karen asked me to bring the telescope over so we could all ooh and ahh as the Earth passed in front of the sun, thereby casting a shadow across the moon. When it's almost fully covered by the shadow, you can see a light orange glow around the center -- what my sister so eloquently referred to as "the Japanese Latern effect" ... 943 times.

For example, at 7:45 she noted, "This is what is known as the Japanese Latern effect." "Isn't the Japanese Latern effect cool?" And then at 7:48 she quipped, "See that orange-ish glow? That would be the Japanese Latern effect." "During lunar ecplises, the Earth passes in front of the sun, thereby causing what is known in some circles as the Japanese Lantern effect." And so on. This continued until the peak passed, at which time she said "Well, that's the end of the Japanese Latern effect. We've now reached totality."

I might be pointing out the obvious when I say that she, too, has ADD/ADHD. And much to my delight, she hasn't quite mastered the ability to tone down repetitive statement making, especially in front of people that it annoys greatly, like Deb. :)

Deb's mantra, and one all of us who are afflicted should live by is that, after a while, ADD is only funny and amusing to those who actually HAVE it. Like ESP and x-ray vision.

Admittedly, it does get old after a while. For example, for some reason lately, I just can't seem to focus. And that's frustrating.

All week long, I've only been able to read for 10 minutes at time before I have to look ahead to see how many more pages I have to go until I can refill my glass of Diet Vanilla Coke. (Every 10 pages.)

And I have been losing things like crazy. I forget to eat -- which some would say isn't necessarily a bad thing. Plus, I spill EVERYTHING. Like ketchup on my steering wheel.

It's kind of like PMS -- but without the cramps and bloating. Although, after eating a giant bag of Lindts chocolate, one might be susceptible to a little puffiness in the abdominal area.

For me ADD acts up at the most inopportune times -- like a neglected stepchild who just downed a bag of pixie stix. And I just don't have the time to deal with my inner pain in the ass.

Things are about to get busier and I just don't have the energy or patience for the mental shenanigans that come with ADD. I'm working on a paper about nerve regeneration in spinal cord injury, a cancer research project that's about to get even more hectic as I start to analyze the data we've spent the summer collecting. Then, of course, there's the MCAT prep that's about to start again.

Like a tool, I blew a good chunk of valuable time this past weekend. Doing what? Well, for starters...obsessing. On totally inane shit.

For example, last night I was so excited about buying a new can of starch, that I maniacally ironed 7 shirts, 3 pillow cases, and one blue sock.

I also bought 4 pairs of shoes online and a jogbra I don't need, but got it anyway so I could qualify for super saver shipping. (God bless Amazon.)

asdrftghyhklhde <--- Cody just wrote that. Seriously. As I was sitting here typing, she reached over with her paw and smacked the keyboard. Isn't she brilliant??

See? Distracted. Even when I blog. Which I shouldn't be doing anyway because I have really do have a ton of shit to do before this coming weekend -- my whole family is heading down to Cape May, NJ for a little wedding planning.

Then again, I suppose if I'm still distracted, I can always make the best of it by calling Karen on her cell phone 943 times during the 4 hour car ride to ask her, "Hey, what is that phenomenon called again when you see that orange-like glow during a lunar eclipse?"

She'll understand.

I watered the garden last night ... for 13 hours.

My subpump has been running all morning, pumping out what I am sure is a veritable swamp under my basement.

What a tool ...

I need to cut back on the caffeine intake. Pronto. I am so jittery today... I think the 3 cups of coffee and diet Coke before noon may have been overkill.

Watching that brigh red MCAT countdown on my web site tick off days like minutes isn't helping my nerves, either. I'd take it down, but I want to motivate myself to move my ass along and not procrastinate.

Today is the perfect study day. It's raining, the wife is off bowling with friends, the dog is asleep, and I have all the quiet I could need. Yet, I am completely distracted. God damn ADD. I've got so many things flying through my head it's hard to focus. So, what am I doing instead? Blogging.

Nice. OK, enough time wasting. Time to continue my review of the lymphatic system.

Four days ago I grilled 2 delicious, juicy steaks for me and The Wife for dinner.

Yesterday I finally remembered to turn off the grill.

*sigh*