As of 11.30am yesterday, Friday, May 15, 2009, I am officially a physician!!!

WOOOOHOOOO!!!

In the course of this 10-year journey, I've had many moments of intense joy, extreme sadness, profound awe, eternal gratefulness and thousands of cups of coffee. I wouldn't trade it for the world. And, yes, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

They say it takes a village to raise an idiot, and Lord knows I've got a ton of people who are responsible for getting me throught the past 4 years.

I owe my friends and family a huge debt of gratitude for being so patient, supportive, and encouraging. I somehow managed to get through this while maintaining both my sanity and dignity! And I couldn't havedonw it without each and every one of them! :)

Right now, it is time to celebrate and relax. The next part of my journey, residency, begins in a month. Until then, I plan on spending as much time with friends and family as possible. Internship is going to be busy busy busy...

Kaiser Permanente SUNSET/ UCLA!!!

24 more hours until I find out where I will be doing my residency... this waiting period is ridiculous! It's a good thing I am on vacation right now since I am mentally a basket case. I'm glad I am not in a tough rotation where I would have to think and make decisions about patient care when this distracted! Fortunately, I do know I am going to a great program since I only ranked 8 programs and all are very competitive and places where I would want to be.

Still, tomorrow morning can't come fast enough.

This time tomorrow I will be in the middle of packing for my weekend camping trip to Joshua Tree while waiting and obsessively hitting refresh on my email. As soon as I get the news, I'll be popping champagne (yes, at 10am!), calling friends and family, then probably fielding a few phone calls from my new residency director and some residents and then jumping in the car and heading out to JT!

Until then... I am just going to try to chill, play my new Wii, and try to not think about it.

Yeah... right.

Very quick update:

I matched today to a residency program! After pulling out of the DO match and entering the MD residency match, I've been on pins and needles waiting to find out - and I just learned moments ago that I will be doing my residency here in Southern California!!! I will find out which program on Thursday morning - stay tuned!

I ranked 8 programs and got very good feedback from my top choice - so fingers are crossed. I've been a complete maniac for the past week waiting to find out, so I'm 50% better for the moment. I'll be great on Thursday when I learn where I'll be spending the next three years of my life.

As a teaser: all but two are in Los Angeles, one is in the OC and one here in the IE.

But hell - I'M GOING SOMEWHERE!!! And in 6 weeks I'll be a doctor! woohoo!!!!

A strange thing occurred to me the other day: I have been in an exceptionally good mood lately. Not that it's a rare occasion that I am happy... it's just that I have been... dare I say, gleeful!

Is it true love? Well, yes, duh. I LOVE my job! heh heh. (Seriously, I am still in the infatuation stage of being a newly minted doctor to be.) Have I been drugged? No more than usual. (Blood pressure meds, that is!)

After a few days of pondering my joviality (is that even a word??) I realized that for the first time in about 15 years, I actually did not have to study for an exam in the last few days leading up to Christmas! I could enjoy the stress of christmas shopping without the stress of final exams!

I never really realized how much test-taking took its toll on my emotional health until I didn't actually have to do it. Phew.

That's not to say there hasn't been stress in my life: I have been spending the past month interviewing several times a week, so it hasn't been THAT relaxing. (8 down, 6 or 7 more to go.)

However, it was nice to finally get a chance to really relax the past few days. I actually finished my shopping in time and only had to do about 25% online.

So, now, with regard to my residency: I will find out in mid_March where I will match. It will be in SoCal as that's the only place I have applied ('cept for a few in Chicago... long shots).

Currently, I am doing a clerkship in family medicine with a private practitioner in Seal Beach/los Alamitos. After that I am on to UCLA for more neurology... then ARMC for SICU, then 3 weeks of radiology then my last month in Hawaii.

For those of you on the east coast, I will be home end of May for the big graduation bash (exact date TBD).

That's all for now - I'll try to update more frequently in 2009! After all, I'll have loads of time as an intern.......

Wish I had something interesting to write, other than I wish I was back in New Orleans! After a few days in Texas on business, Beth and I took a spontaneous road trip to the Big Easy for oysters and absinthe last weekend.

Sigh...

And now that's all I want to eat. Seafood. Can't even get excited for a big ol' turkey dinner.

Thinking I will be going back in the spring... LOVE that city.

OK, I usually don't take a 1.5 month hiatus from blogging, but it's been a bit busy 'round here. I am right in the middle of residency applications... well, I was. I'm now done applying and have been busy as hell scheduling interviews!

I'm pretty pleased, actually. In the past week I've had 10 requests for interviews -- one of which includes UCLA -- the main reason why I moved to Los Angeles! My goal has been to do my residency there, and now I at least have a shot. I actually have 2 interviews - one at each campus. It's still a few months off, so I have time to panic and obsess about it.

My other interviews are all in SoCal. I have applied to programs mostly in Southern California, with the exception of 2 programs in Chicago I am interested in. But the goal is to stay here in LA, so I am gunning for my top choice, obviously.

We'll see where the Match gods decide to place me. I won't know where I match until mid-March. Hopefully, my last month of medical school will find me celebrating like mad as I soak up the sun in Oahu. My plans have been finalized, and I will be doing my addition medicine rotation at the Univ. of Hawaii the entire month of April. Woo hoo! Now to find a place to live...

I am STILL getting people coming to this site by searching on the phrase h e a d i n v a g i n a. And Yes, I know I am only perpetuating it by adding it to the site again.

But seriously. Is life for you people THAT deprived?

Dear god.

So, I'm thinking of trying a bizarre phrase of the month just to see, experimentally, what it does to my traffic.

So, this month's phrase, courtesy of the Monkey In Chief herself, Beth, is "monkey pessary" ...

(Oh for fuck's sake, go look it up...)

Last night Beth and I made what's become an annual pilgrimage to see the Dave Matthews Band. We last saw DMB at Hollywood Bowl, which was astonishing. It has become my favorite venue, hands down. The acoustics are incomparable. And we are planning to head north to see him perform at the Gorge and do a little camping as well.

Last night, however, we saw them perform at Staples Center. It was a great show, despite the sad overtones as the group's sax player passed away yesterday. But as always, it was an amazing performance.
That said, here's the setlist from last night:

Bartender
Proudest Monkey (YAY!!!)
Satellite
So Damn Lucky
Eh Hee
Water Into Wine
Burning Down The House
Dancing Nancies
Loving Wings
The Maker
Sledgehammer
Grey Street
Dreaming Tree
Crash Into Me
Everyday
Anyone Seen The Bridge
Too Much Intro
Ants Marching

Encore:
Sister
Corn Bread
Two Step

I was a little bummed they didn't play Crush which is my favorite DMB song and has special meaning to me. But they played some great cover songs including Burning Down the House and Sledgehammer. I've been a long time Peter Gabriel fan and have probably seen him in concert more than any other artist. And who doesn't love Talking Heads??

I must say though that despite a fantastic show, I was unimpressed with the acoustics at Staples. I was surprised at how inadequate it seemed. I dont think the venue was a particularly good location for DMB, as they are astonishing live and should really be eard outdoors. The inside of SC was beautiful, though - very trendy. (Makes MSG look like a shit heap. :)

Ah, life in LA...

That said, this actually was my first time at an event at Staples Center. So perhaps last night's acoustics was merely a fluke and not truly representative of how concerts sound there generally.

It seems odd that I have never been there before since I've been living in LA for 3 years now and do get to go out and explore the cultural/sports/music scene fairly often. I've been to Angels stadium many times for baseball games, Disney a gazillion times (we have annual passes), Hollywood Bowl 3 or 4 times. And I've been to most of the major "hip" or formerly hip clubs and restaurants (we blew off hard-to-get 11pm rez at Pizzeria Mozza last night out of sheer exhaustion). I've done the whole gay pride thing here as well. Yes, my social life is alive and well, despite the being a lowly, sleep deprived med student.

This Friday the fun continues -- we are going to see Tom Petty at Irvine Meadows -- my first time there as well.

Good thing my days of studying 10-15 hours a day are behind me!

I can once again breathe. I killed that pig! My last exam of medical school!! I took Step 2 of the Boards today - a hellatious 8-hour, 400 question beast. Ugh. But its done, and it's behind me.

Now I can watch the damn Olympics!! And go to the beach every weekend... and exhale. Yes, Beth, you can exhale, too.

Monkey juice???

Holy shitttttt... (I still get chills thinking about it -- this whole doctor thing. Wow.)

Yes, I take my Step 2 of the boards this Wednesday. Hence the stress. Unlike many others, I did not have a vacation the weeks leading into my exam. Oh no, I had to go and choose Pediatric Fucking ER (which I love, don't get me wrong) the weeks leading up to the exam. My schedule is so erratic, it's hard finding more than 4 hour blocks to study.

Sigh... I'll get through it. Somehow.

I can remember fretting madly over the MCAT. Seems so trivial now. (It WASN'T.) And I am sure my propensity to stress over exams has not diminished. But I'm certain the amount I bitch has most definitely been reduced. You shoulda seen me 4 years ago. I was an insufferable pain in the ass. (Yes, I am aware of that NOW.) It's just that, now, I know I'll be a doctor in 8 months. (!!! holy shit!!!) I just want to make sure I'll be a decent one.

OK, done procrastinating. More questions. (Peri... it's just not the same when we're not sitting face to face on the deck or at the table drinking coffee and sobbing softly together... I hope Jade and Sara and Chris are pleased with themselves! ;)

Menstruatng monkey ass pheromones must die.

Every have one of those days when everyone pretty much sucks and altruism seems like a nice notion but really is a crock of shit?

Yeah, well I'm there.

Feeling jaded and tortured. Maybe it's PMS, maybe it's premenopausal crap, or maybe it's just people in general.

But right now I want to punch someone in the neck. (no one in particular. just the first person to cross me... or just cross my path.)

(Have I mentioned I am sleep deprived and studying for boards??? Yes, maybe that DOES have something to do with it.)

For those who asked/are interested in my 4th year schedule, here 'tis:

June/July: Neonatal Intensive Care Unit
July/August: Pediatric Emergency Medicine
August/Sept.: Family Medicine
VACATION!! Beach house in Hermosa Beach, baby!
Sept./Oct.: Emergency Medicine
Oct./Nov.: Infectious Disease
VACATION!! In the works
Nov./Dec.: Pediatric Neurology
Dec./Jan.: Neurosurgery
Jan./Feb: Neurology
Feb./March: Radiology
VACATION!!! 2 weeks!!! Sailing!!!
March/April: Addiction Medicine, in Hawaii!
Last day: April 24.
Graduation: May 15
End of May: THE FAMILY'S VILLA ON THE AMALFI COAST, ITALY!!!

June: Residency starts... TBD. :)

I'm currently working in my pediatric emergency medicine rotation ... many, many hours. Very, very tired. And sick. Again. Natch.

I went from cushy to crushed overnight. I love it though! FANTASTIC hospital and great attendings. The residents are incredibly smart - the best group I've seen thus far. They make everyone just want to perform better.

I'm working 6 days a week, and today is my day off. I work 4-midnight the next 6 days (theoretically 8 hours, but usually I am there 9-10) -- the busiest shift in this ER. I'm seeing and learning a lot, and we are expected to diagnose and treat as if we are interns. It's good practice for next year - it functions like a sub-internship. So far I have diagnosed leukemia in a patient who came in with chest pain, reduced a few dislocated elbows, sutured some lacerations, and treated/managed the care of a baby with a fractured skull. Not a bad first 3 days!

Now I'm off for more Board study. Test in 3 weeks..

Speaking of time: only 8.5 months left!

I am hoping to be better about chronicling the trials and tribulations of med school life during my 4th year. Obviously, I've been busy and sadly this blog has been neglected.

It's pathetic in that I have had much blogworthy news!

4th year is going swimmingly thus far. I am currently working in a NICU taking care of premature infants. It's a more humane rotation in that I am not working 90 hoursa week -- more like 35, which is reasonable since I am taking Step 2 of the boards soon. I'm enjoying the preemies -- they're like little pocket-sized peanuts I just want to take home. I am currently managing 2 with very severe neurological problems (Bilateral Grade 4 Intraventricular Hemorrhage), and they are both day-to-day status. I am going to run upstairs soon to observe a head ultrsound on one of them to see if the dilation of brain ventricles has reduced. Then I'm off -- heading home to check on my very very pregnant roommate, Peri (twin girls on the way!!) to see if she is still vomiting her guts out. (Love you too, peri!)

In two weeks I will be working in downtown LA for my Pediatric Emergency Medicine rotation. Then it's off to UCLA for more rotation fun -- and my beach house in Hermosa Beach! Schwing!!! Got a place right on the Strand, so bikini watching will vie for my time. (I don't care what my girlfriend says, I do NOT have a neoprene neck.)

The great news is that I will be doing my last rotation of medical school in Hawaii. I'll be there for 5 weeks (march-april) for an Addiction Medicine rotation.

Let's see... what else. I've been to the beach a lot - twice this past weekend, actually. Working on my stellar tan -- Lord knows I have some seriosuly white legs and tan face and arms. Go figure. I need scrubs that are not SPF 2000. (OK, and I need to wear something other than scrubs and crocs all week long.)

Got my grades for third year - Honors in 9/10 rotations! That should help my residency application.

And... when not studying or trying to figure out a way to go to the beach I am obsessing with my iPhone (yes, Deb, and monkeys.. just wait til you get back and I've added 27 more to the collection!). Not the 3G, damn it. But it's still the best phone hands down. I finally gave up my Treo for something way cooler and slicker. Yes, I sacrificed epocrates for style.

Well, I should get back to studying and the babies... hopefully, I'll be back soon and upload some pics from the Playboy Jazz Festival, LA Pride festival, the beach, yadda yadda yadda.

For those of you back in CT -- see you Thursday! Yes, I'm heading home for another world-wind trip - 4 days. My last until after I graduate!

I'm officially a senior - and 10 months away from being a doc! This is how Beth feels about that:

Life's been pretty busy the past few weeks as I am winding down my third year. In a few days I will be a 4th year med student and with that comes the stress and joy of residency applications. It also means no more tests! Well, of course, I will have my Board exams in July and September, but medical school exams will be a fond (NOT) memory.

I'm currently rotating in my last internal medicine slot, and have been assigned to the Nephrology team. This was unexpected, as this type of rotation works more like a sub-internship. However, I am pleased to be learning so much about renal disease, electrolyte imbalances, cardiac and pulmonary disease, etc. It's mentally intensive but I am learning an amazing amount and have managed to get out of working weekends -- a bonus for being on the Renal Team! Initially I was supposed to work 6am to 6pm, 6 days a week - now it's only 5. Believe me, 12 hours is a BIG deal when you miss so much. (60 hours as opposed to 72/wk.)

My sister scored some Sex and the City screening tix for this past week, but I had to pass as I was on call. I'm also missing the Relay for Life next weekend in CT (sorry ladies!!!!) because I initially thought I had to work.

I also have tickets for the upcoming Playboy Jazz Festival at the Hollywood Bowl for the entire weekend, but I need to wake up early and study for about 8 hours each day of the weekend as my last round of shelf exams is the following week.

It's not that I'm not getting in important events. Just yesterday I was post-30 hour call, and was home from work by noon so hopped in the car with D and went to Disneyland for the day/evening. Easy to do when you have annual passes and live 30 minutes from the great mouse house. We actually go down there quite a bit to hit a few rides and grab dinner in the evenings.

I should also be getting in some beach time next week - I'll be post-call Friday and have the weekend off - what's known as a Golden Weekend. (A rare 3-day off event.)

Speaking of time off, my next vacation is not until September, which seems an eternity since I haven't had one since November.

I know, I know. Quit whining! I signed up for this! And I DO love every minute of it. I just miss my family and friends a fuck of a lot... and having a normal life. (will that ever be possible again???)

Beth sent this to me. Think she's trying to tell me something?

Rocked my Surgery and Family Medicine shelf exams! Spent the weekend celebrating ... which was much needed. I am not crazy about my current rotation, Internal Medicine, which is 1 hour of rounds followed by 11 hours of waiting for something to happen. Every. Day.

So, I was happy to let loose this weekend. Friday night was champagne and hot tubbing. Saturday was spent hanging with my baby sistah who just had major surgery last week. Today was the first beach day of the year!! Woohoo! It was a beautiful day down in the OC. Newport was exceptionally crowded, and we didn't go to our secret getaway beach because traffic was horrendous. But I did get to spend several hours lounging by the surf.

This week is my last in IM -- next week I begin my psych rotation! Looking forward to that!

And on a last note: I finish medical school one year from tomorrow!! Yes, only 366 days left -- but who's counting???

It's freakin freezing here! I can't take it! Last night I was so cold, 4 of us were snuggled up in bed, along with a giant comforter and the heat cranked to 85, and I was still freezing. (Doesn't help that the boys have feet of doom and kick off the covers!) I warmed up a little with a 2 hour dip in a very hot hot tub, but when I cam back to my apartment a little while ago, the heat was off and I was back to being chilled to the bone.

Oh, it's probably 60 degrees out.

Yes, I am a pussy. So what?

A special note to my friends back in CT: I had a wonderful time celebrating with you all on Saturday night. That was so much fun - I really felt like I was there at the party. And... it made me miss you guys all the more. Deb promises to bring her laptop to all future parties when she flies back to CT for work so we can do that again!

And to Amy: Never give up. Never surrender. You're making outstanding progress! I am so proud of you and your strength. You're an inspiration! And... I am so gonna kick your butt when we have our triathlon. I'm down 14 lbs baby! OK, so I still can't run more than maybe 2 miles before needing a breathing treatment, but still. (OK, OK, you are SO going to kick my ass.)

Only 14 months left! It may seem like a long way off, but considering I've already logged 31 months of med school, it's seems really close!

Why am I thinking about graduation already? Because I've been spending the past few weeks putting together my 4th year rotations and investigating residency programs. I begin applying in June. It seems very surreal to me. This year has flown by. I've only got 3 rotations (12 weeks) left of my third year. It's crazy.

Starting in June, most of my clinical rotations will be in neurology and pediatrics. For example, Ive got rotations in pediatric emergency medicine, peds infectious disease, pediatric neurology, radiology and neurosurgery. (That's my very last rotation before I graduate -- going out in style!)

I end in mid-April and have 4 weeks off til graduation, and another 6 weeks until I begin my residency. During the off-time I will be in Tuscany, Italy and sailing in the Carribbean. After that, I wont see the light of day, or friends and family for a long time. My residency is a 5-year program. 2 peds, 3 neuro. All in all, when I finish, the process of becoming a doc will have taken me 14 years. And an ass-load of cash.

Sooooo worth it. I wouldn't give this up for the world!

Glad I could celebrate with you tonight!! (Even if t was pouring rain and we couldn't see the stupid eclipse and thus decided to just drink more sake instead while every person on the planet decided to call/txt us to tell us to look at the moon... And the sushi chefs didn't splay me open for bein' a playah. Just sayin.)

Honest to god. If what doens't kill us only makes us stronger then I should have one hell of an immune system.

I have been continuously fighting one virus or another since October, and I am so DONE with being ill. This weekend I got nailed with the flu again -- the Upper/Lower GI variety. The only good that came of it was a 3 lb weight loss, boosting my total loss to date (for the year) to -14lbs.

Schwing.

I still can't eat more than a few crackers and Gatorade -- 2 days later. And I start a new rotation tomorrow morning out in Long Beach. Long commute, long day, and not so good tummy. :(

The good news is I am moving to Claremont! Schwing!!! Got a great house with 4 bedrooms (enough for friends to visit and the kiddos to spread out their toys) and 2 full baths. A great backyard with lemon trees, orange trees, avocado trees, and white peach trees. Plus a chinese herb garden, veggie garden, and it's on a cul-de-sac NOT NEAR ANY FREEWAYS OR TRAINS. A huge coup if you live in San Gabriel valley.

Moving date is March 1.

Hopefully I won't have the Monkey Pox or some other dumb-ass virus (like Shingles, ahem, Peri.).

Just sayin.

Yes, it's that time! I am moving (again!)! 3 times in 3 years. 'cept this time it's into a great HOUSE. Thank god. I am so over this apartment/condo dwelling crap. Not that I spend much time at home anyway. Mostly at the hospital or elsewhere, but very rarely in my own home. I am looking forward to being able to go home and have a backyard, hot tub, fruit trees, and best of all, PRIVACY.

I am hoping that this is the last place I move into, until I move to the beach house when I graduate (and have a salary once again). Ahem.

I'll update everyone with my new address as soon as it's settled. Promise. Til then, no you still can't send me xmas cards. heh heh.

Yes, I promise to blog about my trip to Paris and South Africa very soon! And post photos! Seriously! I will.

I also have some GREAT conversations with my mother posts, along with the written version of the now famous "Aunt May" story as told to me by Nancy M. (Quite possibly the funniest story I have ever heard -- and can quite possibly cause me to become incontinent, as I seem to lose bladder control every time I hear it...)

But first, a request from my dear readers:
I used to send out a monthly email update, and have long since stopped due to lack of time. For friends and fmaily out there reading this, post a comment please and let me know if youre reading this site. I've had several requests to continue the email, but if I can keep it all on the blog, it would save everyone from lauraspam.

Thanks!

I know I registered to vote a few years ago when I got my California driver's license, but for the life of me I can't figure out why I haven't gotten any information on where I vote. Probably because I have moved since registering...

So I have been remiss in taking part of this Super Tuesday fiasco. So sue me.

I think I would have voted for Hillary, but was fairly undecided. I like Obama, too. But I have to honestly say I am very removed from what's happening in the world of politics. My priorities are few, but require most of my mental energy. I am trying to get into the spirit of the debate, but can't seem to muster more than a few ounces of energy to discuss it. Sad, I know. I just finished another 15 hour day, and have another tomorrow. Once home, I am working on my schedule for my 4th year, along with researching residency programs. When not doing that, it's sleep and maintaining some semblence of a normal life.

Excuses, excuses... yeah yeah. I know.

On Tuesday one of my oldest (more than 25 years) and dearest friends, Becky DiPanni, lost her year long battle with liver cancer. She was a true champion and a fighter 'til the end. I've been back in CT celebrating her life with old and dear friends, thanks to my wonderful residents who granted me 4 days off from my family medicine rotation so I could attend her funeral. Seeing everyone back here has been so bittersweet. Wonderful to see old faces and laugh with everyone through the tears.

I'm also back home to visit another very dear friend, Amy, who was tragically involved in a serious car accident 2 weeks ago that alsmot took her life. She is suffering from a traumatic brain injury and several fractures including her pelvis. She has been making good progress in her recovery, but has a very long road ahead of her. I'm confident she will improve -- she has a very strong spirit and will to live.

I'm sad that my stay here is so short, but elated to be able to be here for/to see my friends. I leave for LA tomorrow, but am sure I will be returning very soon to spend more time with everyone.

The BIG decision has been made: my residency will be in pediatric neurology. I will become board certified in peds and neuro, and consequently, psychiatry. (It's part of a dual cert with neuro.)

My other BIG decision... well, we still have to decide on that. Where, when... Depends on how the residency gods roll the dice and her job situation, and all relevant persons involved. Can I be more cryptic? Yes. If need be. Jeez. Most likely here in SoCal. Or Chicago. But only for a few years.

Finally, a heartfelt congrats to Peri, who is getting married this weekend up in the Bay area. I'm heading up to witness the act of madness! (Peri finally believed me when I said, "NO means No, Peri!")
And, god damn it, you beat me to it! So maybe I'm not the marrying type. But I guess that's the curse of being under 30 ... for NOW... You're just THAT much more naive! You're SO much more eager than I am to drag that ol' ball & chain around! (doh! ducking...)

Kidding! That said, congrats and best of luck to you! And my condolences to Chris! (Kidding again! :)

We love you Periwinkle Blue Life!

PS - what the fuck happened to JACK?!?!? I went into your room to print something and he was missing!

See you Saturday, my friend! And to everyone else: Stay tuned to the next year and 4 months -- it's going to get very interesting 'round here!

I did return from my extensive travels abroad. I've been rather busy since coming home 2 weeks ago, but promise to update this thing and add photos (well over 400) of my trips as soon as I can.

I can't believe I'm already half way through my surgery rotation. It's been great - but keeping me very, very busy. Ive already been on 30+ hr calls twice and work 6 - 6 most other days. But I still have the travel bug and am dying to go on vacation again! Currently I am planning a return trip to Hawaii, another sailing trip to the BVI, and 2 weeks at a villa in Tuscany for my graduation (which is only a mere 16 months away!). I get 4 wks vacation next year and then 6 weeks after graduation before residency starts. Might as well enjoy the time!

Alright, breakfast awaits. I'll get back to this thing later...

I'll be gone for a while... Paris, France; Johannesburg, South Africa; Cape Town, South Africa; Kailua-Kona, Hawaii; New York City/Fairfield, Connecticut. I promise I'll take lots of photos from my trip around the globe.

Be Back Dec. 23! Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! I'll be back just in time for Christmas - and just in time to start my surgery rotation.

Hey Peri: think you can hold off on getting married, having a kid, becoming a grandmother and lord knows what else until I return?? I don't want to miss a single episode of As the Sphincter Constricts...

Oh hell yes! Med school rocks! When else would I ever get opportunities like this!?!?

Hey Eric: 18 months til we're doctors!
(An' keep an eye on that crazy one, will ya.. she worries me a little.)

Interesting news report on some local shootings!

Reputed prison gangster killed

This is my watering hole! The local campus pub! Some of the best moments of my life were celebrated here... we would meet here after every exam to drown away our misery. Or to celebrate our successes! It essentially is right on campus, about 150 feet from where I spend most of my study time these days (when I am not on rotation) - in the lab.

Scary.

I have never known Characters to have a rough kind of crowd. Then again, when I am there, it's usually late afternoon, post exam, and with a bunch of med sudents or professors. The ugliest it ever got was a few toothless old men at 11am (hey, we had an EARLY exam that day) and a couple of meth heads eating burgers.

It won't stop me from going back there, though. Too many fond memories, even if it is quite a bit of a dive bar. But it's our dive bar, damn it! If it wasn't for Characters, there would be no common tree MONKEY. And no shiny purple vibrating things. And no birthday cake and bottles of scotch for Peri. And no endless bottles of Newcastle with Beth. And no endless bottles of Corona with Eric. And no cowgirls...

Stupid gangsters... why you gotta spoil a nice shithole like that!?

Forget what happens in Vegas stays here... Oh HELL no. It's being reported right here.

I came back to my hotel to work on some papers I need to hand in by Friday, and as I am sitting quietly at my desk contemplating the intricacies of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis I hear the following "dialogue" through the wall:

Her: Oh god.. oh god.. OH god.. OH GOD! OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD!!!
Him: Yeah baby, you can take it... take my big c*ck! That's it!
Her: Oh god.. oh god.. OH god, BEN! OH GOD! OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD!!!
Him: mmmm... that's right. Suck my HUGE dick. You can take it all.

Me: Are you FUCKING kidding me?!?!?! I'm trying to get some WORK done!

This went on for the next 40 minutes. At one point I was too nervous to leave my room for fear of running into the hosebeast in the hallway, only to find out he is probably a 2 foot 7-inch midget.

Well, to Ben in room 2268: I am not impressed with your stamina. The fuckers passed out and I haven't heard a peep or their door open/close since then. It's been about 6 hours. Unless, of course, he suffocated her with his unit.

With my luck, I'll be back here tomorrow with the CSI folks for some weird midget sex scandal death and it'll be Big Ben and his howling hoo-ah under the white sheets.

But I'm not jaded.

We're off at the crack o' dawn tomorrow for Arizona. Ash Fork, to be exact. Beth's sis is having a big ol' party on her 140 acre spread and there will be plenty of food, fire, booze and bullets.

Oh hell yes - their neighbor has his own shooting range. When you sit on that much property you can have whatever you damn well want. Tonight, I went out to the giant Outdoor Sports World or Bass Shops and stocked up on .45 and .22 ammo. Got a holster, too. I will be carrying my Kimber 45 on my hip since there are real threats of mountain lions in the area and my past experience with correctly IDing wildlife is pretty much a fucking joke. I once chased a coyote through Jack and Miki's yard because I thought it was a skinny puppy. Then there was the black bear on I-80 in PA that I mistook for a standard poodle. Besides, I really don't want my last words to be "here kitty kitty..."

Dr. Fucking Magoo.

Aside from the ammo, I also made another very important purchase - Beth's very first flannel shirt. Gonna make a butch woman outta her yet... (I have to balance out her recent purchase of very expensive yet hot Michael Kors boots - of which I have partial blame for their purchase.) And for the record, Deb bought yet ANOTHER tan/oatmeal/ash colored hunting-like shirt for the occasion. Brings her total number of butch shirts to 456,927,392.

I'm just sayin.

Tomorrow I am off for a day of discovery with the Las Vegas CSI team. The past 3 weeks I have been observing and assisting with some gruesome autopsies and frankly it's time to get the hell out of there! I am constantly amazed and disturbed with the bizarre and horrific ways people manage to kill themselves and others.

The autopsies on the kids really hurt the most, I must admit. Last week we had an abuse case - a beautiful 9 month old girl. Just heartbreaking. There was also a drowning of a little kid (he was 2) and an accidental shooting of a teenager. Tragic. Listen, if you have kids and guns, unload them, lock them up, and teach them to respect guns! Got a pool and an infant? This is not exactly rocket science -- put a fence around your damn pool. And if your spouse is too stupid/drunk to watch the kids: divorce.

Then there are the really bizarre love triangle, murder-suicide cases. I've seen several of those over the past few weeks. News flash: If you're going to leave your spouse for some other hot vixen/hosebeast and your soon-to-be-ex owns a gun, isn't emotionally/mentally stable, and threatens to kill you for months on end , LEAVE THE DAMN STATE and do NOT tell them where you live! Chances are he wasn't kidding. Besides, GSWs to the head are messy and sometimes you just don't die right away. (If you're lucky, you get shot through the brainstem and stop breathing immediately.) And your 5 year old kid may witness some horrific shit; kiddos just don't need to have those images burned into their heads for the rest of their lives.

Finally, what is so hard about CHEWING YOUR DAMN FOOD, PEOPLE?! In a weird twist of events, I've seen autopsies on 3 people this week alone who have choked to death. There is nothing worse than finding the remains of steak or a Big Mac in a dissected out esophagus and trachea. I mean for fuck's sake, those pickles were even chewed in the slightest. (I will never, ever eat McDonalds again.) And for the love of god, learn the Heimlich Maneuver.

(a special note to Peri: why didnt you warn me about the SMELL?!?!?! I now know I have a very reactive gag reflex. Good thing I don't eat breakfast...)

I'm off tomorrow for the next part of my adventure! I'll be spending the next 4 weeks working at the coroner's office in downtown Vegas learning everything I can about forensic pathology. I get to tag along with the CSI folks, too. Hey, if Peri and Wendy can do it, so can I! See Peri.. I blogged. Oh sure, not once the entire time you were here. But just to prove a point - here I is!

After LV I am off to South Africa - with a 3 day stop over in Paris. I'll be working at a museum in Johannesberg helping Beth with paleontology stuff (do NOT ask me to explain - she is wayyyy too smart for me, most of what she does is over my head and I'm essentially along for the ride). Then hopefully we'll head even further south to Cape Town for a few more days of R&R.

I'm back for a week and then off again to Hawaii for 8 days with the wife, and then to NYC/CT for 5. I expect I will have some time to blog while in Vegas, but after that - doubtful.

So stay tuned for my adventures in Vegas - I expect I'll have lots of interesting things to report.

I will also be reporting on my neurology rotation, which I just completed - but briefly, yes, I am completely hooked and now think I am narrowing my career down to pediatric neurology. It was an amazing experience and I got to work with some of the best docs in the country at one of the top rehab hospitals in the world. I've been invited back for more rotations! That's huge to me. So, naturally I will take them up on it next summer.

My first round of shelf exams are finished and, admittedly, they were more difficult than I expected. I feel I did well on Obstetrics and Gynecology, and as for Pediatrics ... I am still hoping for 1 standard deviation above the national average. I am gunning for honors in both. Yes, you read correctly - gunning. But the results won't be available for several weeks.

I was so emotionally drained from the past week that after dinner at Eric's last night, I came home and promptly passed out at the early hour of 10.45 and slept until 9.30 this morning. Two hours of cleaning and several cups of coffee later, I was overcome by the need for a 2.5 hour nap. It was pouring rain here in Southern California today -- and the sound of the rain beating down on my roof made me sleepy. Deb and I spent a good chunk of the afternoon lounging in the new Barnes & Noble, sipping latte and picking up a few books for reading pleasure -- yes, I can read for fun again! I have not been able to do that in years. Naturally, I picked up some light reading on neuroscience and brain medicine, as I begin my long-awaited neuro rotation on Monday. But I also picked up Alan Greenspan's latest The Age of Turbulence (you continue to inspire me, Elizabeth) and several Abbott & Costello dvds, less anyone think I am entirely too serious.

Student Doctor Peri has also moved in with us today. We celebrated with dinner at my favorite sushi place, Sho Gun. She shared her BIG news - to which we drank some sake, Kirin and scotch and bourbon.

Tomorrow I will be driving out to RLA to check out where I need to be on Monday morning. Can never be too prepared. I also need to pick up a few things for my pending move to Las Vegas and then my trip around the globe.

4 more weeks til Vegas, baby! 8 more til Paris and South Africa!
I am distracted and procrastinating right now. Obviously.
Been studying for my shelf exams all week and I am so tired I want to cry. I am not used to this intensity after 12 weeks of real work!

damn it... ok, back to work.

(yes, I miss the babies! My little peanuts!!! Mandi understands the madness... right?!?!)

No... I don't have a baby. (Yet. Sorry Peri, but it might just be inevitable -- and, as strange as this would sound to someone who has been populating the whole damn planet with her progeny, NOT YOURS! No means no, Peri. :) ) My little baby boy found a family and is off living what I hope will be a happy and healthy life. I was ecstatic for him.

(uhh... I can hear that collective sigh of relief from 3000 miles away, you know. Jeezus.)

Meanwhile, all that baby exposure has elevated my oxytocin levels which has had some strange effects on me - this past week I've been... ::gasp:: cooking! I guess I am exploring my inner domestic goddess side (or "inner bottom" - depends on what circles you run in). I've made dinner 5 out of the past 7 nights. I must say - they were all rather quite good if not damn tasty. (I haven't mastered meatballs like someone I know, but I will get there.)

If I start wearing pink or harping on what dress I should wear, kill me. (No B... there is NOTHING WRONG with pink. It looks faaaaabulous on you. But on me - yeah, that whole monkey fucking a football thing..)

Unless, of course, the dress matches my fez.

So Peri wants to know when I will have kids of my own...

Well, if the gods allow it (or the state of California), that may happen sooner than later. You see, recently I've grown quite attached to one of my patients. OK OK.. he's 6 days old, an orphan, drug-addicted thanks to mom (she had it rough), and has nowhere to go and has nothing of his own except for the tiny t-shirt and diapers that the hospital provides.

He doesn't even have a name.

It's utterly heartbreaking and gut-wrenching. I spend hours holding him each afternoon when my work is complete and then hand him off to someone else when I leave so he doesn't have to spend the nights sleeping alone in a cold crib.

I am trying in vain to help find a foster placement for him soon. I have vowed that if social services can't do that, I will become his foster parent. I really can't afford it - both time and financially, but I can't watch this little guy suffer another day.

Sadly - he's one of thousands.
Sigh.

Contrary to everything I ever imagined for myself as a possible career as a doctor, I am suddenly, strangely leaning towards Peds/neonatology. It either calls to your or it doesn't, and I've not felt a stronger pull. It's a bit overwhelming, unbearably frightening, yet intensely rewarding. And it just kills me a little every day...

2 weeks into pediatrics and I LOVE IT! The babies are amazing, and I am totally hooked on the kids. I've been working in the hospital outpatient clinic, and had some of the greatest attendings helping me out. On Monday I begin 2 weeks in the Newborn nursery/NICU. I can't wait.. Thanks to my Owen, I've become a baby fanatic.

Pathetic.

After the newborn nursery, I do 2 weeks in inpatient peds. Then off for a week while I take my shelf exams. Then I'll be driving to Downey, CA for 4 weeks (driving the 605 HELL) for IM/neurology. After that it's Vegas for a month, followed by Johannesberg, SA for a while, then Hawaii. Not sure how much blogging will occur, but I will certainly try.

In other news, Dr. Penman has returned to SoCal, and not without her fair share of outrageous stories to tell and major life changes and genetic experiments that I've come to expect from Peri.

Shortly (a few weeks) she's moving in and then will be taking over my pad, dog, cats for a few months while I traipse around the world. I need to stock up on scotch, porn, and stain-resistant plushy-wear, apparently. (Speaking of, Peri, you forgot your bunny head, riding crop and giant purple paws last night. I'm just sayin'..)

THAT should provide for some interesting blogging...

2 glorious years ago today I escaped the northeast and came to paradise. Ahhh... I do feel like I've been on the world's longest vacation, despite the long, hard hours of studying and work. The hundreds of intense hours I spent in the Prem Reddy classroom already seems like a thousand years ago, and Connecticut? Fuzzy in my mind.

I spent the weekend celebrating my 2nd anniversary as a California resident in much the same fashion that I have spent most weekends -- dare I say, partaking in "my usual routine" -- eating, drinking, and relaxing next to a large body of water. Yesterday after I got off a 13-hour overnight shift, I went straight over to Beth's and soon found myself lounging poolside, eating fabulous Italian fare and drinking wonderful glasses of Prosecco, blissfully passing the afternoon and evening away. Today, Deb and I headed off to my favorite spot in Newport Beach with my sis and Brother in law for the afternoon. I'm over the beaches in Malibu. Too crowded, to noisy, and too far of a drive. My heart now belongs to Crystal Cove.

Tonight will be an early night, as I have to be back at the hospital at 5.30am for another day on the OB/GYN ward. Friday night was insanely busy - I had patients to see in the ER, the ICU, the surgical ward, on top of delivering a few babies and scrubbing in for a c-section surgery. I don't think I sat down for more than 7 minutes total the entire night. I'm hoping tomorrow is just as busy - I like it when there's a ton going on and lots to do. I feel energized by the frenetic pace.

That said... must go wash my scrubs and get myself together.

Hours worked since Sunday: 60
Hours slept since Sunday: 20
I feel like I have been in coma for 2 days now, and I am on call tomorrow night in Labor & Delivery (delivering babies and scrubbing in for caeserian sections, D&Cs, etc.) for a 12+ hour shift from 5.30pm until 5.30am or later on Saturday morning. Off on Sunday and then back to work from 5.00 am Monday until who knows when.

Looking forward to starting my Pediatrics rotation, which begins a week from Monday. I'm liking OB/GYN ... but not sure if I love it. It is HARD work and the patient load is enormous. I have been asked by two attendings to come back to do another rotation in it, which in all probability means they may be trying to recruit me for a residency there. I am flattered, but still want/need to explore other options; for example, I still have to do a rotation in my first two choices, neuro and ER.

My rotation sched is as follows:
OB/GYN
Peds
Neurology
Forensic Pathology (Las Vegas)
South Africa, Hawaii (5 wk vacation!)
Surgery (beginning Xmas eve!)
Family Medicine
OMM
Internal Medicine I
Psychiatry
Internal Medicine II

I've just completed three weeks of a six-week rotation in Obstetrics and Gynecology. It's been a mixed bag of emotions for me. The rotation is pretty hard. There isn't much of an orientation and you are thrown into direct patient care on Day 1, Hour 2. We all showed up on the ward after having our ID photos taken and were essentially told "Go."

Uh.. go and do what?

"See patients."

Ummm.. OK.

At first, 2 or 3 of us would tag-team a patient -- we figured there is safety in numbers. But by lunch, I was working solo and by 3pm, I had done a handful of pap smears and pelvic exams with very little if any guidance. Initially, the residents walked all of us through doing our first real pap, but after that, we were on our own completely. 30+ paps later, I feel almost comfortable, dare I say confident, doing them. Some patients, however, are a little more challenging. Like those that tip the scales at 400lbs. Had 2 of those already. Wow.

Much of my day is spent working in the Women's Health Clinic, evaluating and diagnosing patients with gestational diabetes, ruling out and looking out for preeclampsia, doing postpartum wound checks and physical exams, antepartum exams including pelvics and paps, using dopplers to measure fetal heart tones, and ordering labs, ultrasounds, etc.

The part I am the least fond of is diagnosing STDs like chlamydia, gonorrhea, trich, or BV, and then breaking that news to the patient. I worry someone's boyfriend, husband, or partner is in for a nasty fight. A few patients have broken down right there in the room. The look on a young woman's face when she realizes or thinks someone hasn't been faithful, and that he not only got her pregnant, but gave her an STD as well -- that's tough. I do counsel them that they could have had chlamydia for years and very well could have been asymptomatic and it was only just discovered because we routinely test for it. I try to tell them that they, in fact, could have gotten it from a previous partner. It's still hard, though. It's a county hospital, and the women I see are young, poor, and have little education. Some of these women are still in their teens and already have 2 or 3 kids.

Ive had some great days, too. I had one patient encounter where I told her she was cancer-free and she burst into tears and hugged me so hard she almost ruptured my spleen. That was realy cool.. except for the spleen part. I also had 2 patients ask if I could be their personal doc. I had to explain to them that I have another 2 years to go... it was a great feeling, though.

The attendings have been great, too. I have been pimped quite a bit, but it's been rather benign so far. I mostly get the questions right, and if I don't know the answer, they are great at explaining it, and then telling you politely to go home that night and read up on it.

I am rather tired, as we do work hard - mostly mental work. The work week is Monday - Friday 7.30am until whenever we get done (usually by 6pm), and sometimes we have day call on weekends or overnights. Tomorrow (Sunday), I am on call in Labor and Delivery from 5.30am until 5.30pm, and next week I have a few overnight calls (5.30pm until 5.30am) in L&D. Yesterday, I scheduled one of my patients for an induction tomorrow, so I may get to deliver her baby if I am lucky and she goes into labor while I am there. Other days we work the wards, handling obstetrical emergencies, seeing post-c-section patients, and discharging the mothers and babies who are healthy enough to go home.

Like I said, it's been hard and I am tired. The first two weeks, I pretty much came home and crashed into a state of unconciousness on the couch, or went hottubbing and then crashed on the couch. My feet were KILLING me from being on them 12 hours a day, but I am now getting used to it. Buying the proper shoes helped, too. Days when you can wear scrubs all day is nice, because you are so much more comfortable. Mostly, it's professional dress. Actually, I think what I am finding the hardest about working so hard is being emotionally available at the end of the day, or just being available in general. My schedule is a little erratic, and making plans means being flexible. Everything is "tentative." I don't like that, and neither do some others, but I, as well as they, have to get used to it. After all, this is the life I chose.

I am happy with my decision, and working with the patients, while exceptionally difficult, is rewarding and reinforcing why exactly I chose to go into medicine. I am loving every foot-aching, heart-aching minute of it and wouldn't trade this for the world.

Just got my "award letter" from my friends over in financial aid... guess how much my tuition + expenses is this coming year?? Go on.. GUESS!

$69,541.

FOR 1 YEAR. That's an increase of $15,000 from last year.

So, in case you were wondering ... THAT'S why doctors charge you 6 million clams for an xray. We need to eat, too.

:::sigh:::

"You want fries with that?"

Fuck it.. I am going to bed before my own head falls off and I have to kick it down the hallway as it's screaming for help.

(jesus, i am not even making any sense anymore... Um, Beth?? Monkey needs chocolate now..)

Will somebody please just stab me in the eyes until I bleed and cry like the whiny little bitch I know I can be?!?!

You know what?? You Know What?!?! YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT?!?!?! I AM SICK OF STUDYING!!!!!! I HAVE FINALLY REACHED THE GOD DAMN END OF MY ROPE!!!!! I WANT TO BE A BARTENDER!!! I WANT TO SELL BAIT ON THE BEACH!!! I WANT TO BE A KEPT WOMAN!!!

Phew.. thanks.. just needed to vent. Feel much, much better. Back to cardio review.

(This meltdown has been brought to you by the letter Q, the number 6, and 427,972,315 cups of coffee. Oh, and the fine folks at Kaplan and NBOME.)

::: BEPPPP! .... BEPPPP! :::

In 48 hrs it will all be over with (I hope)! I am hitting the wall already. Studying for hours on end each day for 5 loooooooong weeks... I am lucky I have hair left. And a partner. And my sanity.

Soon enough I will be on a very brief vacation until I start delivering babies on June 25. I hear night call is 2-3 times per week. Sleep... is overrated.

So, until I am done with my board exam... radio silence. (yeah.. what else is new.)

PS - Peri... JACK IS ALL MINE NOW!!!! MWAHHH HAAAA HAAAAAAAAA!!

I am in board prep hell. Enough said.

6-8 hrs of torture daily. 100 practice Qs per day. Who has time to blog? OK, so I have spent some time goofing off... A girl's gotta play sometime.

Wish I had something interesting to tell...oh wait, I know: I will be doing my Forensic Pathology clerkship in Las Vegas this fall! Woohoo! I get to spend 5 weeks living in Sin City, pissing all my tuition money away on craps, cigars, and champagne! (Notice I did not say cheap women... because like santa claus and relaxed med students, they just don't exist.)

:::ducking:::

Truth be told, I will be working about 120 hrs a week, so won't have much time to indulge my vices. Perhaps I will get married while there... always wanted to do that.

In other news, I am a blonde. Again. Girlfriend wanted me beachy. several weeks ago I cut away the remaining blonde hairs that had adorned my head for the past year, and was once again a dark-haired, dark-eyed woman of mystery and intrigue. That lasted a month. It was all they (D and B) could take. Apparently, the "fuck you surfer hair" (as B so eloquently refers to it) suits me better. As such, this past Sunday, after D chopped away at my locks and cleaned me up, B strapped me down poolside, handed me some icy prosecco and a magazine, and bleached me back into my LA hair. Just in time for summer!

I like it.. they done good.

I'll post a pic soon. For now, it's back to extrapyramidal tract lesions.

MSIII BABY!!! That's right - III! 3 Three Tres Tre Trois. I am a third year med sudent!

Passed the ACLS - but almost not after Dr. Penman threw me under the god damn bus - and I didn't even see it coming! Thanks, Peri! Just wait and see what happens to Jack when you move in with me ... Good thing he's already riding the DED wave.

Our ACLS lady was mean, rotten and wanting Peri in the most unnatural way. The rest of us were mere baby docs who could barely change a diaper, let alone charge a defibrillator. But not Student Dr. Penman.... oh no. She could do NO wrong.

Kiss ASS Gay Hump.

;)

I AM DONE!!!!!!!!!!! Time to open the bubbly!!!

16 more hours... and I will be finished (and hopefully have passed) my ACLS training course!

Did I mention I was finished with med school coursework? I didn't? Really? WELL, I AM!!! Had my dermatology final last Thursday (A)pediatrics final on Monday (B+), handed in my geriatrics and clinical integration exams on Wednesday night (A, and A), and had all day ACLS (Advanced Cardiac Life Support) training on Thursday. Friday I went out for a looooooong ride on the motorcycle with Beth, and then came back home and celebrated with some orgasmic fish tacos and special lemonade (mmmm ...Taco Nazo (Senor Baja)). Today ... well, it's been nothing but cramming complex algorithms for vasopressor and anti-arrhythmic drugs, doses, and when to shock patients into my head for 12 hours. My exam is at 2pm tomorrow, and then it's back home to pop the bubbly (prosecco) and smoke some cigars by the fire with the g/f.

Alas, it's back to the grind on Monday-Wednesday: I have orientation for my clinical rotations: PPD tests, getting fit for masks, scrubs, etc. Rest of the week I will be back hitting the books and studying for the boards - which, by the way, is June 14. (Remember the MCAT??? This is worse. Times 10,000. Seriously, don't even speak to me until June 16... maybe 17th. I'm not kidding. If you thought I was Type A and uptight 3 years ago... you ain't seen nothin' yet.)

Oh Yes. There will be plenty of celebrating with friends, too. ALL WEEK LONG! There's a party or 10 just about every night this week, including the annual HUGE bonfire at the beach in Corona del Mar...

For those of you playing along back east (and those of you looking for a warning shot across the bow), I will be returning to CT/NY on June 18 for 3-4 days to visit friends and family. (N.B. I will be traveling alone, so for those of you who are disappointed in that, don't complain to me! Complain directly to her - I am not the one with the uber-important job...) I am coming back home to LA on the 21/22 because I begin my Obstetrics and Gyn rotation at the crack of dawn on June 25. Email me, call me, txt me - let's make plans now!

I had my dermatology final on Thursday -- did quite well and I am releived. The test was a ball breaker, and I was sweating it. With a possible few points "curve", I may end up with an A. (Class avg was 76 - this is a notoriously hard system.) I will say, though, if I see one more pustule, carbuncle, oozing vesicle or red ANYTHING on someone's skin anytime soon I will cry.

I may cry anyway...
I've got 1 day left of classes, and in the next 10 days I've got 2 OMT finals, a 5 hr comprehensive basic medical sciences exam (yes, everything we've learned in 2 years), pediatrics, geriatrics, and clinical integration exams, basic life support and advanced cardiac life support training and exams, and finally a clinical medicine exam where I have to see and diagnose 5 patients in 1 hour.

THEN, I am finished. Until the Boards.

So, I've got little time to blog until May 6, which is the day I am done. Hell, I've barely got time to sleep. Last night I actually passed out from exhaution at 11. I couldn't even think a complete thought. Was up at 7 and started the madness at 8. Sad.. I am already procrastinating...

Back to work. Wish me luck! In 2 short months, I will be treating real, sick patients every day for the rest of my life! (as long as they don't have an oozing rash ...)

Hey Peri, we're gonna be doctors!!!

On the tail end of Spring Break, and have not wasted a single moment. Been all over SoCal, including Malibu, Newport Beach x2, Hermosa Beach, PS, and chillin in the hot tub.

Classes begin again tomorrow, and so will the regularly scheduled blogging. Down to the final month of med school classes! 5 more exams and I am DONE! ('cept for boards...)

OK, back to relaxing. I've got 11 more hours left...

PS - as promised, here's the DO2009 crew at my 40th bday celebration!

Jesus. This was one of my longer hiatuses (hiati??) from the blogosphere. Mostly due to the constant ineptitude of my web host, with which I am too busy to fight.

That said, I am back and here to assuage any concerns or fears of my demise. On the contrary, I have been faring quite well, and assiduously making my way through the last weeks of med school didactics. It's hard to believe that I've only got 5 weeks left of classes! I've just completed the Gastrointestinal system and began Dermal this morning. I also finished on Friday a 1-week intensive course on cranial osteopathy. Interspersed within my coursework, I have been preparing for the USMLE and COMLEX boards, which I take in mid-June.

The big news, which at this point is old, is that I got my clinical rotation schedule for my MSIII year. (yes, in 5 short weeks I will be an MSIII!!) MY first 6 week rotation is in Obstetrics and Gynecology, followed by 6 weeks in Pediatrics, and then Neurology! I am sure I will get around to posting my rotation schedule shortly - but the main point is that I will, once again, not be back east for the holidays (they seem so far away) as I begin my surgical rotation on Christmas eve. ::sigh::

Well, I knew this would be brief - I'm taking a few hours off from board review to watch Casino Royale with the g/f.

Be back soon with more updates - promise!

I'll admit, I have tolerated some aberrant, deviant behavior from some of my friends. And I have let it go - just ignored it without breathing a word of my disgust. I have remained nonjudgmental in the face of such bizarre oddities and fetishes that one might question my own judgment.

Well, I have reached the end of my rope with one of my closest, dearest friends. I can no longer remain silent on an issue that is so close to my heart. It is time for a public intervention.

Beth, you know you mean the world to me. But we need to talk about something. Openly and honestly. Now, you know I have forgiven you for transgressions such as being a geeky bookworm, being on the debate team in high school, and the very tragic morning announcements girl. I said nothing when you told me about your very active participation in numerous choirs, your lack of athletic endeavors, your midwest upbringing, and the fact that you have never seen Saturday Night Fever or own a single Donna Summer mp3.

However, I can no longer remain silent about one issue in particular.

I was stunned... stunned and deeply disturbed to learn that you were a ... [GASP!] a... mime. Dear god, there, I've said it. Yes, a mime. A horrible, sinister black and white clown!

To think! I have trusted you with making decisions about my career as a physician! All this time I thought you were this amazingly brilliant professor -- so together, so professional -- and then your dark side seeped through. Who knew your deepest desire was nothing more that to pull on a rope that doesn't even exist!

Oh the tragedy, the shame of it all. My heart weeps for your future, and the future of our friendship. Please... please. Tell me you have given up this loathsome hobby and will never paint your face white again! Convince me that you'll find a cure for such an insidious case of mimingitis! Prove to me that you will never, ever, bastardize the sacred all black outfit again!

Please. For the sake of the boys... you can't let them grow up in a home where invisible walls appear out of thin air. I just can't bare the thought of little Owen trapped in a box for eternity.

Say it with me, Beth: No More Monochrome. I have faith in you...

One last thing: Conversations with my advisor is SO my next column.
Ha.

I love my nephew, Owen (better known as Mini Dude)! Who knew I would become such a sap? (Oh, shut up.)

Now that I have your attention... This just in:

Save the date: February 10th, 2007. I will be making my "acting" debut in Western University's production of The Vagina Monologues.

Yes, me. On stage. Possibly in a... [gasp] dress!(Oh shut up.) How, you may wonder, did I get roped into this? I actually *offered* to do it. Trying to expand my horizons, leave my comfort zone, try new things and all that. Besides, it's not like I don't have enough to do with school, boards coming up, new babies to obsess over. I have pleeeennnnnty of time to practice talking about my vagina to my entire university, friends and family.

OK.. now I need to go lie down. I feel faint.

More to come... please stand by.

Owen, born Monday, January 15, at 5.32pm. 7lbs 2oz.
He's unbelievable! One of the greatest experiences of my life was being there for his birth. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, Beth, Stuart, and Owen! I love you all!

Congratulations, Eric & Nicole!!!

Ryann Elizabeth was born at home at 1.20am on Friday, Jan. 12, 2007. I got to meet her a short time later, at 3am - she was eating. I knew immediately she was Eric's kid.

Both mother and baby (and dad, who delivered her!) are all doing fine.

I am back from my travels and well aware this blog is woefully outdated - what else is new. Hey, I have been out of the country for a while, and hence, otherwise occupied. But I promise to provide details, pics, etc. etc. in the coming hours.

I am already back in school for my last didactic semester - fully engaged in sex... uality and human reproduction. I am also planning a baby shower for a certain someone, and trying to learn everything I can about delivering a baby... for the obvious reasons. Rumor has it, I may become an OB/GYN.

Then again I may become a psychiatrist if crazy talk like that keeps up. (That very well may happen anyway ... I am considering dual board certs... one being psychiatry, and the other internal med/neuro..)

Right now, I should be sleeping, but 2 of my closest and best friends are about to each give birth, and I am so torqued up and anxious (a good anxious) I can barely sleep.

Not even Bayla's (Peri's wonderful mom) rum ball cookies can knock me out. (PBlue, please please please drag my big ol' white butt to LA Fitness manana - I need to work off some of this nervous energy... and some of that spicy tuna roll, too.)

Oh hell... I need another cookie.

PS - Marc... I love you, man. Really, I do. You're awesome... I'd marry you myself if I was into dudes. ;) Hang in there, bro. We'll chat soon!

Me and my parents, New Year's Eve

A picture of Peri, last week, at, uh, church:

And 1 to go!! One more final exam - Thursday! And only 2 more days of classes left! Then I am on holiday and parking my ass on a beach for a week.

I've got a whopping 18 days off until my last didactic semester --EVER -- and you have no idea how happy this makes me. After 12 years of grade/high school, 5 years of college, 4 years of graduate school, 5 of pre-med, and 2 of med school, (THAT'S 28 GOD DAMNED YEARS SITTING IN BIOMECHANICALLY DISADVANTAGEOUS SEATS -- HALF OF THEM WHILE ENDURING BEING SMACKED ACROSS THE KNUCKLES WITH A RULER BY A CRAZY WOMAN IN A PENGUIN SUIT (No, Peri, that's not hot... not even remotely) I will never have to sit my big ol' pasty white ass in a classroom AGAIN. Oh sure, I'll be studying for the rest of my natural born life... but NO MORE SCHOOL.

Until, of course, I start my PhD and JD programs. But that's soooo... 5 years from now. ;)

(Just kidding honey! :::ducking:::)

And on a private note: Dizzle... you had better be quick on your feet! If I see you in that hallway tomorrow, you are SO in trouble.

Sexy drink, my ass. You hurt me!

Beth just asked me if I would drive up to the mountains and fill up the truck with snow so she could put it all around her pool and hot tub for a snowball fight she wants us all to have on Christmas Day. She is so funny!

Snow. Me. As if. Clearly she does not understand the seriousness of my pathology.

I think I will twitch at the sight of it for eternity ... (Seriously, it is a cool idea. I may just do it ...)

Meanwhile, Deb is off buying our Xmas tree - I am thinking of hanging assorted medical equipment and empty pill bottles as ornaments. Nothing says Happy Holidays like colorful lights, tinsel, and latex gloves. We can even top the tree with a Foley catheter.

Ooooh... the possibilities are endless!

That said, I'll leave you with this Christmas nugget:
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. " In honour of this season" Saint Peter said "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."
Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "These are Carols."

And So The Holiday Season Begins....

Four exams in next 2 weeks; 2 this coming Monday. I. Am. Fucking. Busy.

I am also stressed, tired, sleep deprived, and, not surprisingly SICK with this damn virus everyone has. Stupid rhinovirus. I will say, this is the first time I have been really sick since I started med school. I have had a minor cold or two, but nothing else. Now, I have this insidious viral demon that is most likely attenuating and reinfecting my pathetic, immune-depressed ass every 15 minutes. Or, rather, upper respiratory tract. Said ass is, thankfully, virus-free. (TMI...)

This weekend, I remembered it was the holiday season - someone here in San Dimas had lights on their house. The 80 degree weather we're being spoiled with has thrown off my sense of seasonal timing. The nice thing is, I don't have much to do in the way of Xmas shopping, so I am rather unperturbed about the holidays. I will also be on VACATION in 3 weeks, and the thought of that small break in the intensity and insanity is what is getting me through this week of hell.

After Monday, I will post pics from the bday party, which was a great success and a lot of fun. I should also do some catch-up blogging next week, too. Lots of stuff to report on...

And now back to our regularly scheduled radio silence and the ever fascinating endocrine system...

Hell Exams are over (until Dec. 11, when I have 2 more) and I did well, and thus it has been a constant celebration since Tuesday night.

The Western Univ. GLBT club had an end of semester BBQ/pool/hot tub party at Beth's that evening, which was a most titillating experience. Even though it was a club function, I was celebrating getting through the exam with brain cells left intact, and inching that much closer to 40.

The fun had actually started earlier that day, as B whisked me off in her BWM to get a pre-birthday manicure and pedicure as part of a week-long 40th bday celebration extravaganza.

Yesterday, I blew off the morning classes, and spent the entire day blissfully lounging poolside or in the hot tub, sipping some bubbly stuff, back at Casa Rega, and enjoyed being spoiled.

Today we had a few morning classes, but that was followed by drinks with the boys at Characters (local campus watering hole). Tonight I am attempting to be a med student for a few hours and am actually going to study. Tomorrow I will be at the beach with Deb, spoilng myself, and pretending I am 21 again.

Saturday is the big soiree here ... and so much needs to be done before then, I can't even think about it.

Honestly, I thought I was going to go into 40 kicking and screaming, but as it turns out... it ain't so bad. And my wonderful friends here at school are making this transition into senility that much easier.

This morning I woke up to a blissully unfamiliar sound - raindrops bouncing off the roof and dripping on the leaves outside my bedroom.

"It's raining?" I yawned to Deb. "Hmmph." About 3 seconds later it occurred to me: I Don't Care.

Well... not really.

I would have to say that I am about 85% unaffected and unconcerned by the gray skies and wet sidewalks. Didn't think I would get here emotionally that fast.

As soon as I slithered out of bed, I took Cody out for a walk. She immediately looked up at the sky, then at me as if to say "What the hell is this crap??"

She hasn't seen rain in a while, either.

Kind of a nice feeling - the absence of rain. I have not missed it - but seeing it no longer makes me so hostile and depressed. (Yes, I know - thank god!)

Never really realized how much seasonal affective disorder affected me until I acclimated to the weather here. No wonder I was a bitch 3/4 of the year when I lived back east.

Deb was back in CT for Thanksgiving, and came back to California with the report that the weather was lousy. I teased her that I found that hard to believe. (She misses CT a lot, so I try to refrain from gloating about the perfect weather here ... hourly.)

Yep, it's raining. And I am trapped inside studying for the exam from Hell I will take tomorrow morning. I was hoping to sit out on the deck to review my notes and try to not stress so much about it. But, the wet stuff is still coming down. Harder now.

No worries -- I am certain the sun will be out in a few minutes (NOT DAYS - MINUTES), and all will be well once again.

5 exams in the next 3 weeks. Need I say more?

I finish on 22 December. Will be at the beach for Xmas, then on a cruise to paradise where I can scuba dive and ogle breasteses 'til my heart's content.

Until then, I am in hell.

And, not that I have forgotten:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!!!! You old coot!! You're almost as old as I am... which, actually, I don't want to think about. I still have 5 days left of my 30s, and want to enjoy them.

::vomit::

Oh, I have BIG plans on how I will spend the next few days as I sidle up to the big 4-0. (After my ginormous respiratory final on Tuesday morning, of course). Mostly, it will be with friends, in a hot tub, or on a beach, or all of the above simultaneously. Yeah, baby. Yeah.

I plan to be pain free and relaxed. For a good 5 days.

Damn it... back to COPD.

Oh holy hell, I have a lot of catching up to do here, don’t I.

Ah yes… New York … it was fabulous and went by way too fast!! We stayed at Club Quarters on Wall St. which is an amazing hotel for New York University alumni. Top class stuff here. Great (but small) rooms, with top of the line amenities. Expensive drinks at the hotel bar, though! ($25 for a double Glenlivet! That hurts when you’re on a med student budget!)
Our first night there was virtually nonexistent, as we actually arrived very late (1am) thanks to a 6-hour delay in Los Angeles. Stupid broken planes. Our first full day was Sunday – and we spent that hanging out with the divine Miss Anne and her better half, MA. Brunch and bellinis at AOC in the West Village was followed by a trip back up to Anne’s awesome apartment, and then back down to the Village for late afternoon drinks in an old haunt. We had fun catching up, and mixing silos.
Sunday night Beth and I joined my parents at the River Café for dinner – we had a spectacular view of the city and the Brooklyn Bridge on a rare beautiful, warm November evening.
Monday was back to business -- we spent the day at the conference at NYU, and then a late night dinner back up in the village. Jet lag was starting to kick in, so we called it a night about midnight.
Tuesday morning, I trekked out to Brooklyn to see my grandmothers, while Beth went about her paleo conference business. We hooked up in the evening for a wonderful dinner at Da Nico’s in Little Italy, and then grabbed a cab and headed off to Lincoln Center to see Tosca. God, how I missed going to the opera. As expected, it was fantastic.
Wednesday, we returned home, and I made it back to LA in time to make my last 2 classes of the day – yes, I am that anal compulsive. I actually went to school!

And pretty much since then I have been studying my ass off for the litany of exams we have had – 1 last week, 2 this week, and another next week! Since we are nearing the end of the semester (one month), we are in the middle of finals for some of our courses, and I can now say I am experiencing the infamous sleep-deprved med student syndrome I have been fortunate enough to avoid until now. I don’t think I have managed to string together more than 4-5 hours of sleep in a row since returning. And it’s not about to let up.

My parents are in town now for the holiday, so it’s really crunch time. And… I still have that big party to plan for next week… ulp. That said, I am off to study.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

I am back from NYC - we had an amazing time, and I promise to update everyone on what we did, who we saw (Ms. 4-Bellini Annie and her wife), and where we went (everywhere!). But I have another repiratory exam on Monday and need to get all these cancers, drugs, COPD pathophys and treatment strategies stuffed into my cranium.

Off to NYC for the next 5 days - planning to show madame the best of NY oh and attend some paleopathology lecture, too. Afterall, that is the point.

What's in store? The highlights include Sunday brunch with Anne and MA in the village (god, I miss Sunday brunches in the city), dinner at the River Cafe under the Brooklyn Bridge, a morning with my grandmothers, and then off to the Met to see Tosca. I haven't been to the opera since before I left a year and a half (almost) ago - and I cnat wait! We'll probably do some shopping (sigh... I miss Tiffany), and then at some point I need to STUDY. NYU library will most likely where I will be parked.

Have a great weekend, all!

It is entirely conceivable that my head is going to explode in the next 48 hours.

Respiratory Exam 1 on Monday am, and my ADD is at an all-time high. I think it's time for a med readjustment. Seriously. Stupid drugs. I wish I could take Ritalin ... it would make my life so much easier. But, I can't.

Things that should take me 2 hours have been taking 5. Not fun. Have I mentioned how NOT fun being disabled in Med School is?

Dear god, I need to go to bed.

Hey Dr. Wooleybugger? What the hell happened after I left Heroes? Hmmmmmm? "Oh oh, please let me examine your poor, poor achy shoulder! After all, I am an osteopathic God!"

::vomit::

Heh - you so owe me right now.

It's not all fun and games and wild parties in Las Vegas. Med school actually has me working about 80+ hours a week. You all only get to hear about the days when we blow off steam -- otherwise, how boring would it be to hear about my mundane existence? (It's actually not boring at all...)

A typical day for me begins at 6.45am... when I drink my first and ONLY cup of coffee. A quick shower, and I am out the door for an 8am class. Usually, I am in class from 8-noon, and then a 1 hour lunch break. From 1-4 are more classes, and then it's time for study group. We meet a few times a week to go over the day's lecture material, quiz each other, and practice our OMM techniques. Dinner at 7 is quick, because I am eager to get ready for the next day, which means 4-5 hours of reading, note taking, memorizing, etc. I aim to be in bed by midnight most nights - sometimes I push until about 1am. On weekends, my studying can be anywhere from 8-15 hours a day, depending on how much material needs to be covered and if I have an exam coming up. I do take breaks - I go to dinner with friends, we go down to the beach for the afternoon to chill out, etc. But for the most part, it's lots of hard work, very intense focus, and these days, I get little sleep.

I wish I could be more explicit, but time to blog daily is a rare commodity. I wish I could even add a live web cam - but talk about boring... What I can offer instead is this: here's a great documentary video of MY CLASS, Western University's DO Class of 2009, which aired on PBS last spring. It follows the day in the life of one of my classmates, Mahsa. Most of the footage was taken in our actual classes, on a typical day. If you watch carefully, you may see me somewhere! (Dr. Peri is seen walking with Mahsa, the star of the video to class..)

I hope you enjoy it - PBS did a great job of describing a day in the life...

On Oct. 11, National Coming Out Day, the Western University GLBT club, Lambda & Friends, handed out over 500 free t-shirts to students and faculty who came out as allies of gays and lesbians. The t-shirts, which read "Gay? Fine by me.", were purchased from the Fine By Me organization as part of a nationwide community building and awareness program for GLBT students. Lambda raised well over $2500 in donations from the students, faculty and administation, which allowed us to pay for the shirts. We were stunned by the level of support we got from so many people who came out that day as allies! The 500 t-shirts we ordered were gone in 2 hours. It's a great feeling to be a part of a university that is so open and affirming of its GLBT health care professions students.

We took a few large group photos, which I have added below.

Here are my friends and fellow members of my class, DO 2009, in our OMT classroom:

Here is the group shot, which included students from COMP (med school), the veterinarian school, pharmacy, allied health (PAs and nursing), and some of the administration/faculty - only a handful of those who wore their t-shirts on National Coming Out day.

[Photos courtesy of my fellow sexy Lambda officers, Dizzle and Kristen!! Thanks, ladies!]

Finally! I am back! After a month in the dark, thanks to the fucksticks at my hosting company, who emailed me my new server info to the WRONG DAMN email 3 DAMN times, and for not returning a single phone call. Today was the first day in weeks I have had more than five minutes to call them up and bark at them for their gross ineptitude. Part of the issue is that they operate M-F, 9-7pm EST, and I am west coast, and usually in class until 4. They have no tech support on weekends… so you can see where this is going.

In any event, I am not dead, and back online. In the month since my last post, I have been quite busy – probably so much so that my blog posts would have been few and far between anyway. I started – and finished – the Renal system over the last month. Everything you ever wanted to know about kidneys, bladders, urethras, penises, and things people shove up them for the sake of a good time. Oh yes – we learned all about the fine practice of inserting ribbon snakes, pencils, jelly beans, etc. up your urethra in order to get off. We also learned how to REMOVE them (as painful as the insertion itself – especially the snake thing.)

Speaking of a pain in the ass, last week was especially painful for me– we had 3 exams in 7 days – which meant 10 days of sleep deprivation (I averaged about 5 hours a night). My renal final was this past Monday morning, and by Monday evening I was in Las Vegas for the AOA convention. I returned last night – just in time to prep for a full day of courses in the Respiratory system, which began at 8am.

So Vegas… not to sound cliché but, I do understand why they say what happens there, stays there. I definitely fall into that category. Wow. I shall not name names, incidents, locations. I plead the 5th. Something about that town does weird things to people – myself included. I actually did make it to the conference, and saw some great talks. The crew and I also saw the sights, and got to hang out with all the other med students in the clubs and hot spots. Tuesday evening, after Beth’s big reception, we all went to Pure – we had scored VIP passes for being hot little docs, and slithered in ahead of the scores of posers waiting in line. Wednesday night Eric, Peri, Deb and I went to see some crazy S&M strip show that involved vampires and acrobats – way cool. We then had drinks at 1am at the Top of the World at the Stratosphere. I ate a ton of great food, imbibed some of the finest beverages, saw lots of naked beautiful women, and returned to LA a better person for it. (Well, not really …)

And the fun isn't ove yet! As I mentioned earlier, Beth and I will be heading out to NYC from Nov. 4-7, but will only be staying in NYC. I won’t have much time to travel to CT, as we have a full schedule. But if anyone is in the NYC area, please call me! Evening drinks are always encouraged!

Finally, want to see my big Hollywood debut? (OK, so it's a Western University production..) Go to www.westernu.edu and click on the lower left corner where it says Tribute. Or click here and watch...

Off to bed now – tomorrow is a fun filled morning of dim sum with the crew in Pasadena, followed by a day at the beach.

• Cardiology final exam on Monday - scored a B for the class! Woohoo! (It is notoriouly the hardest course of the year)
• We hosted a wine and cheese party here on Wednesday to celebrate the end of cardiovascular system - had about 20 friends over until the wee hours. Awesome time!
• Started the Renal System on Tuesday afternoon, which is heavy on the acid-base chemistry aspect of kidney functioning. So, I have also been studying a lot. Eager to not get behind (which we always are), we started our group study sessions for this section yesterday afternoon. A study group on a Friday afternoon after a long week meant a 4-hour chips, beer, sangria and hors d'ouevres eating festival, followed by a 45-minute "let's take each others blood pressure" session, which lead to the realization we are all hypertensive, except Peri, which then lead to realization that we need to relax and laugh more or we will certainly die, so we spent the rest of the afternoon listening to the Jerky Boys, Lisa Lampanelli and Wanda Sykes. Effective.
• Playing doctor and seeing patients - speaking of which, tune in from home to watch the Angels baseball game. I will be working there (as a student doctor) taking care of injured/sick fans, players, etc.
• Last night, after the previously mentioned study session, I was at musical gig/party at Beth's. Pizza, beer, wine, hot tub, giant fire in the fire pit and live music. I'll say no more.
• Acting in a video production my class is making for the current 1st year class - it's a tradition to make a "mockumentary" of the new kids at school.
• This afternoon, I am heading to the LA County Fair with Deb, Karen, Pete and some friends.
• Planning my trip ... to NYC! Yes, I am going back east (in a month) for a weekend - it will be "business" as I am going to a paleopathology conference. I'll talk more on this soon.

Ahhh med school. Thus far, it has been the best 14 months of my life, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Despite my very noticeble absence from this space the past week due to my being ass deep in cardiology (final exam this Monday!), med school definitely has its fun moments that make you wish it would last forever.

Even though we sit in a stuffy lecture hall for 8 hours a day, listening to crotchety old profs pontificate on obscure facts and diseases, we manage to have a good time.

Sometimes too much fun.

Today, it was tough getting through a long talk on health promotion and disease prevention, so we tormented each other with IMs and ... this:

Meet Ben and Mandi -- two friends and classmates of mine -- who had reached the end of their attention span by 10.30, and decided to embarass each other. (I might add they are married to each other.) They are awesome - and made me laugh so hard, coffee came out my nose.

And for a prime example of the IM dialogues that fly around during REALLY boring lectures, I invite you to peruse my pal Peri's blog (www.myspace.com/periblue). Check out her recent conversation with my bud Robin for some insightful tips on better ... ummm... well, go see for yourself.

The latest news on the Touro scandal (see below) is that the university reversed its decision due to pressure and has agreed to allow the group to remain an official university club.

Nice to see they came to their senses. I am going to San Francisco this weekend and was thinking I was going to have to slap some people around up there. It's nice to know I can vacation without having to be a vigilante this weekend.

And that just made me think... how cool is it that I get to DRIVE to San Francisco for a long weekend?!?! :::big grin::: I love that everything is within driving distance.

OK, back to my happy little study cocoon. Congestive Heart Failure meds await ...

Gosh, I have so much to blog about, but honestly, I am drained from the day. It was a long exam (I did fine), followed by a long afternoon of clinical medicine class. Then drinks with the gang, and dinner.

I am exhausted. On top of studying all weekend, I was also sick with some stupid respiratory virus. And I slept horribly last night. I also woke up ealy, remembering what day it was, and it didn't exactly help my groggy head. I wish I didn't have an exam today - there would have been other ways I would have preferred to spend the 5 yr anniversary.

There actually was a Sept. 11 memorial at my school, but I missed it for 2 reasons: 1, I was still in my exam for the first half of it, and 2) they turned it into a religious ceremony. Leaders from the different religious clubs on campus spoke and prayed.

::sigh::

I remember Sept. 11 like it was yesterday. It's still very much an open wound. And because of that, I refrained from watching any news about it this week, because I don't care to live through it again. I won't ever forget, and I don't need a bible or a man in a dress and big pointy hat to help me remember.

And speaking of religious intolerance: Touro University (another medical school) in northern California, last week removed the charter from their GLBT club, and kicked the club "off campus" stating Jewish law and heritage as the reason. [press release here]

I could rant on and on about this... but instead, I am bringing awareness to the issue by posting the press release. Western's GLBT club will be meeting this week to see how we want to address the issue - whether it's writing letters to Touro Admin, raising money for our sister DO school's GLBT students, or joining them in protest - it has yet to be decided. Stay tuned for that ...

On a personal note to Touro administration: I was accepted to your school last year, and politely declined. It's nice to know I made the right decision to go to an accepting and affirming university that openly supports gays and lesbians. At our GLBT dinner 2 weeks ago, we had 35 people come out to support us - MOST of whom were not gay.

To openly discriminate against people who are devoting their lives to serving others is beyond hypocritical. It's pathetic and reprehensible.

And there is no place for it in medicine.

Every now and then, they sneak up on me. Like some crazy little startle response offered by the unconcious mind. I almost want to call it ... a mind tickle.

It sometimes happens when I am sitting quietly in my office, late at night, with just my dim desk lamp offering a few rays of light as I pour over the hundreds of drugs for arrythmias, angina, or CAD. Sometimes they find me in bed, as I lay there late at night ... or dare I say in the earliest of hours, with my eyes closed, stroking the puppy's head while trying to quiet my own mind from the flood of minutiae I just finished pouring into whatever empty brain space I could find. And sometimes they find me when I get pimped by one of my friends and I actually know the answer.

"Ummm.. Second Degree, Winchebach/Type 1 AV Block! Really?! That's it? COOL!"

And just a few moments ago, it happened again as I walked into my office to grab my stethoscope.

It may sound corny, but it's true - every once in a while I still have one of those "Oh. My. God. I am going to be a doctor" moments.

And then I get that familiar chill down my spine. The good kind that causes some kind of sympathetic adrenaline rush. And then I smile. And then, I panic just a little ... because I know how far away I am from being even remotely good enough for someone to trust me enough to let me hold their beating heart, and life, in my hands.

And back to the books I go as I realize my second Cardiology exam is tomorrow morning at 9am. How's that for a dose of reality?

Maybe it's because I have been watching the Yankees a lot... and maybe it's because my path prof this week had a thick NY accent ... and maybe its because 9/11 is on my mind. In any event, I miss my city.

Lucky for me, I got my list of rotation sites for my 3rd and 4th year clinical rotations, and sure enough, NYU Medical Center is right there on da list! And that's exactly where I am planning to do a neuro/surgical rotation. Followed by my psych rotation at Albert Einstein (or Bellevue, if I get my way).

Now don't get your panties all in a bunch -- I can't do that until 4th year - summer 2008. Besides, I dont intend to stay forever - just enough to get my fill of dirty water hot dogs, a few games, bad traffic, and family angst. (about 8 weeks)

And ... that may actually be the next time I am back east... unless a certain someone I know wants to take me on their trip to NYC in November to look at stuff. (hint hint)

Well, the test results are back. And I can sum it up in 2 words: surgical consult.

The tests were inconclusive (stupid tests) - and showed very little (neither good nor bad). So, my doc has advised me to go next week to meet with a surgeon for a consult and then schedule a date with him and his knife. Woo. hoo.

I guess he has to cut this thing out of me and then poke at it with shiny sticks (oooh... shiny) to see if it bites back. (In other words, yank out the fucker, and send it to the lab.) Fortunately, it's not really close to my lymph nodes. I am also noticing a hormonal trend with pain and tenderness. All signs pointing away from malignancy. But I am NOT a doctor YET, so I don't fucking know what to think.

I am not scared (seriously) - I am feeling very inconvenienced. How dare my body decide to go to hell with itself when I have more important things to do! This will really cut into my motorboating activities for a while ...

:::sigh:::

Stupid medicine.

And in other news, I have another cardio exam Monday, so I will be laying low for the next few days. SEND CHOCOLATE!

See what cardiology does to you??? Just look at these 4 raving lunatics. They are clearly certifiable.

But, you know what?? They are MY lunatics, and I love 'em!

Left to right: Eric, Michael, Peri, Arriel

When I Should Have Been Studying...

Well, OK, I was rewarding myself for surviving a long, arduous week. Besides, I can't turn down my advisor - when she says I need to relax, I listen.

Seated left to right: FOB, Beth, Me, Deb (in back) Peri, Marc.

Me, chillin ...

Darwin

I scored a 53 or so ... I think. (See item #90)

The following scale has designed to test if you have spent
too much time in medical school and whether you are having
adverse side effects due to prolonged exposure.
Score one point for each statement that applies to you.

1 You have ever said "Netter is god". DING!
2 You can discuss autopsy/ anatomy over a meal. DING!
3 You own a 4 color pen, it just isn't enough colors for you. I own a multicolored pen pack ... DING!
4 You use more than one color to take notes. DING!
5 You have use up more than 6 highlighters in the past 6 months DING!
6 you have ever highlighted something YOU wrote DING!
7 you retype handouts given in class
8 you haven't had a date in 3 months -- Had several, thank you!
9 you haven't had a date since entering med school
10 you have not been able to remember the normal term for
something because you were thinking of the medical term (ie
reflux for heartburn) DING!
11 You get more sleep in lecture than at home
12 You know the correct spelling for pruritus DING!
13 - you also know what it means DING!
14 You have ever asked a question in class - The prof. didn't understand the question you didn't believe the answer the prof. gave DING!
15 - you went to look it up to see if they were right DING!
16 You can't hold a conversation on anything other than med
school DING!DING!DING! - wait, we did talk about the joys of food once yesterday, and about pregancy... Does that count?
17 You skip class to study DING!
18 You've said you didn't do well on a test on which you beat the mean If I pass with a B or higher, I did well.
19 You spend more than 15 hrs a week on e-mail
20 You have a callous on you finger from writing DING!
21 More than one professor knows you by name Does it count that I hang out with several of them?? DING DING DING!
22 When you ask a question, a new professor has said "Oh, I've
heard of you" DING!DING!
23 You can name more amino acids than past presidents DING!
24 You use more than 5 acronyms an hour when talking DING!
25 you actually know what PERRLA stands forDING!
26 You know all the steps of the TCA cycle DING!
27 You do not read PTA as parent teachers association DING!
28 You can remember the muscles in the forearm DING!
29 You know the strucures in the urea cycle DING!
30 You know the dermatome distribution DING!
31 You can't remember what you had for breakfast
32 You can't spell world, much less backwards
33 You've ever been sexually aroused by the breast shadow on an X ray
34 You equate "morning stiffness" with Rhematoid Arthritis DING!
35 You actually know normal values for plasma Na -K DING!
36 Missing class causes you extreme stressDING!DING!DING!
37 You have seriously asked someone "So how does that make you feel?" DING!
38 You have asked will this be on the exam-Just after the prof. said it wouldn't FUCKING 22 YEAR OLDS!
39 You identify with Deb on E.R. WHO?
40 You have made a medical joke -no one laughed -You figure they just weren't that far in their studying
41 You wear your stethescope around your neck on the bus - you don't even know which way the thing goes in your ears
41 "SOB" means short of breath to you DING!
42 You have gone to student health with suspicion of a disease
you have studied - within 3 days of the lecture DING!
43 You have answered a question in class -asked by the professor-it was a rhetorical question
44 You can quote lines from the movie "Malice" -you believe them
45 You can flip your pen over your thumb - with both hands- you do so throughout class
46 You have corrected a professor in class -the rest of the class didn't understand the lecture to begin with
47 You know how to calculate specificity-positive predictive value DING!
48 - anion gap HUH?
49 -you can't balance your checkbook
50 You don't know what the weather was like for the past week IT'S SOCAL - WEATHER IS ALWAYS HOT AND SUNNY!!
51 You don't know what the weather is like right now
52 You actually talk in open ended questions DING!
53 DIC isn't a slang term for the penis in your book DING!
54 You think B- is a bad grade DING!
55 you have stressed about a pass/fail class
56 You study during most of your meals
57 You saw nothing abnormal about the Obsessive-Compulsive
Disorder DING!
58 You draw all of the slides not already provided in the
handouts -including the cartoons (humourous type)
59 Anatomy makes you hungry
60 You would even consider saying "Ease back on my finger at
your own pace" DING!
61 You know the size of a RBC DING!
62 - you don't know the size of a football field
63 Your eyesight has worsened by 10 pts or more in the last year DING!
64 You have the library hours memorized DING!
65 Hou have your own seat in the library DING!
66 You score more than 95 on the Epidemiology final DING!
67 You own more than one white coat DING!
68 You have debated between giving up sleep or eating in order
to find more time to study DING!
69 You started studying for boards more than 2 months in
advance DING!
70 You have never received a personal invitation to discuss
your grades with the dean DING
71 A tie is the only addition necessary to what you normally
wear when you go to see patients
72 You wear scrubs to tests DING!
73 You have made plans to study on a beach during vacatioN - you actually did DING!
74 You have a designated seat in lecture DING!
75 - You have ever asked someone to move from "your seat" DING!
76 You sleep less than 4 hrs a night -you think that is plenty -you have thought about cutting back
77 You study more than 35 hrs outsid of class DING!
78 -you think you are a slackard DING!
79 you think everyone answers yes to most of these questions DING!
80 You can not understand what everyone else does with all their free time DING!
81 You still have nightmares about the MCAT DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!
90 You can't count anymore because new knowledge has pushed out non essential information DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!

Scale
<20 - You're not in Med school. Go back to your party and
leave us alone. We have work to do.
20-35 Either Med school is a breeze or you like the sound of
"Senor doctor"
35-45 Gotta love that Primary Care
45-60 Well, I never really thought about MD/Phd, but now that
you mention it...
60-75 Your social life is shot, might as well try to earn lots
of money
75-90 Which surgery subspecialty did you say you liked?
90 All hail, great Med School Nerd master

I wish this was a long weekend for me. Technically, it is, since I am off on Monday and will be celebrating at BBQs tonight, tomorrow and Monday. But I still have 7 hours of lecture to re-listen to (because it was that hard the first time!) and 100 different heart arrhythmias and EKG patterns to learn. So, it really will be a longweekend.

Also, as promised, here are those articles (Jurassic Spark: Paleontologist Named SOMA's Educator of the Year; and WesternU/COMP Professor Named Northup Educator of the Year.) about my very good friend and advisor Beth, in which I am quoted and pictured (casting her leg). Check em out! She deserves all the credit she gets for an outstanding job!

On a final note, the hospital visit went OK - it was brief, and consisted of me walking around in a little hospital gown with all my pieces and parts hanging out for a few hours having a bunch of tests run (radiographs, ultrasounds, etc.). I won't know the results until next week sometime. Fingers crossed!

Last night we had the kick-off welcoming party for the Western University Gay/Straight Alliance at my favorite stomping ground, the historic Buffalo Inn. As an officer of the club, it was my duty to help arrange the festivities, and naturally I chose my new favorite haunt. Here's a photo of the club officers, courtesy of Dizzle.

Right to left: me, Molly (DO2009), Dizzle (PharmD09), Kristen (DO2009, and Brian (DO2009).

More pics to come!

I am tired. As evidenced by the complete lack of spell checking on my last post. I am still nursing a post-exam mental collapse. It was one tough son of a bitch.

I can't believe tomorrow is Thursday already. The past 2 days were a blur - probably because I was still in the "zone." Ugh.

Tomorrow we have 4 fun-filled hours of cardiac arrhythmias, followed by coronary circulation. Friday I get to spend the day in the hospital - not as the doctor, but as the patient. Woo. hoo.

Hopefully, I am not terribly ill - I am not really good in the patient role - especially now that I know as much as I do.

For those of you who light the votive candles and pray - this might be a good time to break out the matches... stupid tumors.

Sorry for the downtime - we were experiencing technichal difficulties her, and I had a HUGE cardio exam to study for (got a big ol B, thank you!!!), plus have a friend in town visiting. Needless to say, I was negligent with fixing this site.

But we're all set, and are ready to get back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Today's new toy purchase ... because I am losing my hearing and my "old" stethoscope was no longer doing the trick. As far as I could tell, all my patients should have been dead because they didn't have an audible heartbeat.

F'n $270!! And that was the sale price!!

Getting old is getting expensive. Jeez.

What?!?!

Deb has discovered the joy of homemade sangria ... one jug down, and another to go!

Meanwhile, I am obsessing with installing new med tools on my Treo. (Still haven't bought the new Q, or Chocolate, or anything else, except my Razr.)

Today, it was epocrates. Later, it will be whatever else I can do to distract me from reading about premature ventricular contractions and v tach.

1 week down, and 1 to go until Cardiovascular Exam 1. So far, I feel OK. We are currently learning how to read 12 lead EKGs, which isn't as easy as it initially appears. (Thanks for the help, Marc! You rule! All Hail King Marc!)

We are also learning intense physiology from a professor who is as monotone and dry as the teacher in Ferris Beuller's Day Off. By 11:30am yesterday, 8 of us were so bored, we decided to have a virtual orgy in a Trillian chat room, so we could bitch and moan and discuss a certain someone's racy dream about yours truly. Yes, when med students get stressed beyond the norm, we turn to juvenile 7th grade antics like fart jokes, bathroom humor, and asking questions like "you did what to me in your dream??" or "do you like her like her ... or just like her?" (OK, so it was more like "do you want to sleep with her in Vegas? Or just cuddle?")

Sad and pathetic. But hey, at least I didn't go to the raging keg party last night (I actually can't recall the last time I went to a 'kegger'). In fact, I was in bed by 10.30, after having fallen asleep on the couch with the EKG book on my face.

Today, I aim to get caught up on reviewing the past week's material, and tomorrow it's off to Disneyland with Deb, Beth, Darwin, and the gang.

PS - you all need to start leaving some comments - this is an interactive space, you know, and I can't do all the entertaining! Jeez! :)

Apparently, I got my mojo on. So much so, Peri has had to beat several women off me with sticks this week, including the luscious delicacy working at Starbucks this afternoon. ::shudder::

So, yeah, for some reason, I have been hit on by 4 women this week, and have seen none of it coming. (Probably because everyone I know is oozing hormones because they are pregnant or got someone pregnant and I am the recipient of their wayward pheromones). Peri, however, has taken to warding off all potential suitors with the "dirty eye" and threatening bodily harm with her brown belt status in ... um... Judo? Aikido? Karate? Yeah, that's it. Karate. I think it's my blonde hair. I have never had this much attention! Then again, I don't even notice it. Ob-fucking-tuse. (Maybe it's that whole "oooh you're going to be a doctor?!?!" thing..)

What she is not doing, however, is looking out for my other heart health. As in cardiovascular. Yes, it's no longer a big secret - I am having some heart issues (read: problems that could kill a mere mortal), and need to be working on my CV health. We were supposed to go to Yoga tonight, and instead, went for tapas.

Bad doctors! No biscuit with your lipitor.

Tomorrow, it's back to the gym and the treadmill/bike and good behavior. Now, I am not in any danger of an MI just yet, but let's just say I won't be running a marathon anytime soon. Or a 5k. Or down the block.

Stupid myocardium.

I also go for some more tests, including an ultrasound on the growth (another issue in itself), at the hospital in 2 weeks. Until then, it's life as a stressed out med student as usual...

And to keep things light, I have added this. Tears stream down my face every time I read it.

They are already prepping us for more patient encounters, which begin next week.

1. GOMERS don’t die.
2. GOMERS go to the ground.
3. At a cardiac arrest, the first procedure is to take your own pulse.
4. The patient is the one with the disease.
5. Placement comes first.
6. There is no body cavity that cannot be reached with a #14 needle and a good strong arm.
7. Age + BUN = Lasix dose.
8. They can always hurt you more.
9. The only good admission is a dead admission.
10. If you don’t take a temperature, you can’t find a fever.
11. Show me a B.M.S. (best medical student) who only triples my work and I will kiss his feet.
12. If the radiology resident and the B.M.S. both see a lesion on the chest X-ray, there can be no lesion.
13. The delivery of medical care is to do as much nothing as possible.

And then ...

1. Never cross a nurse.
2. Never contradict a preceptor.
3. Never trust an Intern.
4. Never badmouth a doctor to another doctor.
5. Don’t expect your grade to have any basis in reality.
6. Don’t believe an old history.
7. Don’t expect to be treated like a human being (but don’t ever forget that you are).
8. Don’t succumb to the illusion that the people who call you “doctor” regard you as one.
9. Always ask the nurse what he/she thinks.
10. Always read about what your preceptor knows you don’t know.
11. Always know what a changed lab value can mean.
12. Always read the old chart first (but don’t forget rule 6).
13. When people tell you they’re important, look impressed.
14. When a doctor wants to teach you, listen even if he’s wrong.
15. When opinions differ, your preceptor is right.
16. When you’re at the end of your rope, do a one handed tie and repeat the Scut Monkey Mantra: “It’s only two years, it’s only two years.

GOMER (Homo vacuus): A human being who has sadly lost the essence of being human; a living version of your anatomy cadaver, intended by God to teach students the art of medicine for tending patients with more hope. Handle with prayer. (GOMER is an acronym for “Get Out of My Emergency Room”, a term of “endearment” for the old folks BIBA (Brought In By Ambulance) from a SNF (Skilled Nursing Facility) who chronically invade the ER at 2am with a simple UTI.)

Intern (Medicus alumnus atrax): A former human being warped into a joyless compendium of medical information by medical school; now works like a golem on shifts considered cruel for slaves and exacts his frustration on nurses, clerks, and most preferably medical students. Watch closely.

Internist (Medicus ego profundus): A specialist in diseases of internal organs, delights in flagellating medical students with minutia and trivia of dubious clinical relevance. Approach carefully.

Nurse (Genus Nutrix):
Nutrix columna: A classic, female health professional on whom rests the bulk of patient care, an excellent reference for medical students. Treat with respect; occasional feedings of sweets recommended.

Nutrix fecundus: A female human who went to nursing school to catch a doctor; knows everything there is to know about marriage and divorce. Handle at your own risk.

Nutrix envious: A nurse who wanted to go to medical school but (for any number of reasons) didn’t; resents physicians, “knows as much as a doctor” and eyes medical students with envy. Handle with care.

Obstetrician (Medicus fovatum): A physician who works long hours to bring people the joy of new life, only to struggle against frivolous malpractice cases that raise their malpractice rates to $40K+/ year. Treat with respect.

Neonate (Home soes): A newly born human being who, with your help, will live a long a healthy life and not end up a GOMER. Handle with love.

Pathologist (Medicus obitus): A physician specializing in diseased tissues, names everything after food, usually very pleasant. Hold your breath.

Patient (Homo aeger): A human being with pathology who hopes through medical ministrations to be cured. Handle with TLC.

Radiologist (Medicus auguris): A physician who specializes in looking at two-dimensional shadowcastings and pretends to see things therein. Handle with leaded gloves.

Surgeon (Medicus ego maximus): A specialist in cut & paste anatomy; knows every structure in the human body by an archaic eponym. Approach with extreme caution.

*Yes, as a matter of fact, these "rules" were given to us today, in class, by a clinician. Never fear - they were told to us as a joke to lighten up the afternoon... since we had just been bombarded with a HUGE amount of material, and warned of the extreme difficulty of our upcoming Step 1 of the USMLE and COMLEX exams.

Today is my last vacation day for a while. (At least until December when I go to Hawaii.) Yes, it's sad but true - it's my last day of freedom. The past 9 weeks flew by in a heartbeat.

We celebrated with one last hurrrah with the DWW gang here at the new digs with a big ol' BBQ and pool party. It was a ton of fun hanging out with everyone again. Wendy and Phil returned from 2 months back in Florida, and Michael was just back from several weeks in the Pacific Northwest. Eric was back from 9 days in Maui with his wife Nicole, and very much enthusiastic about becoming a dad in 5 months. The big news is that he and Nicole felt the baby moving for the first time 2 days ago!!

The other big news is Beth is also pregnant, and is having a boy! (OK, I have known this for months, but have been mum about it since May.) Everyone is due in January, which means it's baby fever around here these days. Even I am excited! :)

It's funny - for the first time in my life, *I* have to plan a baby shower for 2 of my closest friends. (Generally my friends who have kids have had em for years before I got to know them, or are big ol' lesbians and don't have any.) I can tell you it won't be your average, run of the mill traditional shower ... especially since it's going to be a 2-fer. (Having a combined baby bash for both Beth and Eric.) None of this pink and blue balloons and ooohin and aaahing. Oh no. I have somehting much more sinister and fun in the works.

Speaking of sinister and fun, the plans for my 40th birthday bash are now also in the works. I can't tell you all the details yet, but I will say that it will be on Saturday, Dec. 2 and there's a very special theme (costumes required) ... I will be sending out invites in the near future - yes, even to all you back home. I know it's going to be tight, and I understand the holiday budget thing... but ... if you can make it here, it will definitely be worth the trip. :)

Now that I have gotten completely off track, I am going to spend my last day of summer vacation lounging poolside. I was going to head to Newport Beach for the day, but I am rather worn out from last evening's festivities and need to get myself mentally prepared for an 8-hour first day. (Besides, next week, we are going to Disney with Beth and Darwin, and then a Red Sox-Angels game, so my summertime activities are not exactly coming to a grinding halt.)

Today is my last (unofficial) day as a paleontology researcher in Beth's lab. I don't know who is going to miss whom more - me or Beth. I've gotten very used to being spolied with lunch everyday, not to mention the tons of fun we've had outside the lab. (Catalina, Malibu, her ginormous pool, the sushi ...) I have learned a great deal about something that always intersted me, but never had the opportunity to delve into. The past few weeks I have been working on thin sectioning and grinding a 240 million year old tibia and sail spine from a dimetrodon. It's not everyday I get to play with something so old (not a single masturbation joke ... I am already sensitive about turning 40 in a few months, and as it is, have had random spiking fevers of an unknown origin which could mean I am... well, let's not go there.) I've really enjoyed working with her. And with the dinos and the gators.

This morning I also have to speak to the incoming med students (freshmen! yum!) about what it's like to be, uh, a med student and how to survive the first year. Ugh. This means I have to get dressed and wear something other than board shorts and rash guards (to show off my mighty pecs and biceps - shut up, Peri) and flip flops.

On a quick last note, if you have access to the DO Magazine, there is a huge feature article on Beth, with a few quotes from me and photos of my classmates, including one of me and Eric casting Beth's leg, and another of me doing Pilates - if you want a good laugh. (Thanks for pointing out my leg PERI. Damn you.)

Caution: rant directed at students applying to med/grad schools ahead.**

I recently was trolling through studentdoctor.net, perusing the diatribes left by some people in the process of applying to med school and other grad school programs. I was stunned to read quite a few posts from students looking to take the "easy route" into medical school: low MCAT scores (<25), low GPAs (<3.3), and no research/work experience.

Come on. If you want to be serious about a career in health care, you need to step it up a few levels. My school's acceptance profile is comparable to some of the best programs in the nation (WU/COMP is currently ranked the #1 osteopathic medical school in the country), and most of us had to go above any beyond what was necessary to get into medical school. For me, it was already having 2 degrees (a bachelors and a masters), plus 5 years of going to school at night in a postbaccalaureate pre-medical program to improve a not-so-stellar undergrad GPA, and then another graduate school program several nights a week, all while working full time, and then taking the bastard MCAT twice because I wasn't happy with my results. (My friends and family can attest to the anxiety and stress the entire process caused many of us...)

Good grades/scores are not enough though. You also need to have an interesting story to tell when you interview. Realize that most of us in medical school have high GPAs (3.5+; mine was 3.87, for example) and good MCATs (>30) and have done medical research, volunteered, and held down jobs, raised families, or battled life-threatening diseases. You have to be unique. You need to make yourself stand out from the crowd.

I also applied to a LOT of schools. (I applied to 22, interviewed at and was accepted by 4, and rejected interview requests to 3 med schools.)

It just pains me to read these whiny babies' posts about why their 3.3 gpa and 22 MCAT didn't get them into one of the 3 medical schools they applied to. Oh please, my heart is bleeding for you. Try again! Take more courses, raise your GPA, do research, go do relief work overseas or in South America, or get a masters degree.

Do The Work.

I was 38 when I started, and will be 42 when I graduate. Your life will not be over if you are rejected at 25. Trust me. Some of my classmates were rejected 2-3 years in a row before getting a bunch of acceptances. Some had to move far away from home (to foreign countries) in order to improve their application. If you're serious, then do what it takes.

I also read some posts about people looking to get into doctoral programs in the healthcare industry without having to take the GRE. These posts stunned me. I am pretty sure most PhD/PsyD programs require the GRE.

If you want to be a psychologist, for example, then do the friggin' work, already. Take a Kaplan GRE class, study every night for months, take the exam, and spend $$$ applying to several schools like everyone else. Then, once you graduate, you can analyze why you're so god damn lazy academically. Yes, your undergrad degree in psychology/anthropology/english/underwater basket weaving may have been a breeze, but graduate programs (serious grad programs) require WORK. That's why they have exams like the GRE, GMAT, LSAT, etc. - to weed out the inherently unfit and lazy.

Med schools, as well as PhD programs, have slightly high attrition rates (more so in PhD programs - ever notice how many people are ABD?) because these people somehow get accepted, matriculate, and then realize it's more work than they ever dreamed.

Believe me, I am still considering getting my PhD when I am done with medical school so that I may be able to research the application of stem cell therapies with spinal cord disease/injuries. I will admit, the thought of writing a dissertation and spending years doing independent research is very daunting. (I also want a life.) So, I am not making the decision immediately.

Bottom line: there is no easy way into medical school, or graduate school for that matter. They all require work. If you're only interested in doing everything with the minimal amount of work required, then you have no business helping others in the healthcare field.

I can tell you why in 1 word: Malpractice.

**To longtime readers: I am currently being read by many students in the process of applying to med school, and have been asked to show the serious side of med school admissions. You will see more of these posts in the future. Feel free to ignore.

It's been a whirlwind of activity since my mother stepped off the plane on Wednesday evening. I am exhausted, but there is still so much to do! Here's a recap of what we've done/seen thus far.

Thursday, my mother and I ventured south to Newport Beach to catch up with a childhood friend of mine, Michele. I saw Michele last summer for the first time in a decade when she came home to visit CT for a week. We've been trying to catch up since then, and finally had the opportunity. We had a fantastic time, and I got to see her home, which was spectacular: 4 stories, impeccably decorated and only 1 block from the water - unbelievable. I got to meet (again) her 2 kids, who were adorable. We also ate at an outstanding Mexican restaurant, and then took the ferry over to Balboa Island for a tour. We made plans to catch up again in the next week or so, without Mom present and really get caught up.

Friday, I worked for a few hours on some dino fossils, and then mom and I had lunch in Claremont at one of my fav spots, Tutti Mangia, and then spent some time hanging out with Beth. (I enjoyed hearing the academics jibberjab about things like tenure, faculty meetings, and politics; I didn't enjoy hearing my mother tell my more embarassing moments to Beth, who has enough ammo to torture me for a lifetime. (Good thing she likes me.)

Friday evening, we drove out to Malibu (naturally) to have dinner with my sis and bro-in-law at the B-list haven, Taverna Tony's.
Tony's is a crazy Greek place that we have grown fond of (I was last there for my birthday back in December with a group of friends, and have been dying to get back there since). It is famous for its lamb (of which I dutifully inhaled), live music and dancing women. It's also a great place to see Hollywood stars letting down their hair. I am happy to report there was no Mel Gibson drama as seen last week at Moonshadows. No, no, this place is much, much better. (I was at Moonshadows a few months ago, and was NOT impressed.)

Today, mom, Deb and I spent the morning at the Huntington Library and Botanical Gardens, which was just breathtaking. So much so, Deb and I decided to become members so we can return frequently. As a matter of fact, we'll be returning tomorrow to check out the art collections we didn't have time to see this morning... because last night I scored 3 tickets to the impossible-to-get-into J. Paul Getty Villa in Malibu. Wow. If you can get in, I highly recommend visiting. The grounds alone are enough to make me salivate. And that was where we spent this afternoon.

Tomorrow, it's back to the Huntington for the art exhibits, the new Chinese Gardens, and high tea. Tomorrow night, we're doing a tour of Hollywood for mom, and then dinner in Beverly Hills.

(to be continued...)

Here are 2 shots of my new office.

Note the very cool OMM/examination table on the right and please ignore the filthy White Coat (which really does need to get washed pronto) hanging from my chair. At the left edge of the 1st pic you'll see where I turned one entire wall into a giant whiteboard using giant dry erase sheets. (Yes, it is necessary, and I am THAT anal compulsive.) Also note the animal specimen in lower left corner. (If it doesn't stop biting all my books and shredding my notes, it WILL get dissected.)

One year ago today I moved to LA! It has gone by in a nanosecond. Yet, when I think of everything I've done the past 12 months, it definitely feels like a year + has gone by. And, it has taken just about a year for me to feel 100% settled. My last place felt like a temporary dorm room. I am also finally really familiar with the surrounding towns, cities, and have my daily routines. (Work, beach, work, beach, study, beach ... rinse and repeat)

Actually, I was SUPPPOSED to go to the beach today with friends, and as it turns out, it's friggin' overcast and a chilly 83 at the beach. Naturally. (Yes, 83 is chilly! I know I have been acclimated to Cali weather when 83 and overcast with breaks of sun is a miserable day. I used to pray for days like this back home. But, I have yet to start wearing a ski cap and gloves when it dips down to 65, though, like many people here do. Insane! I wore shorts all year long!)

So, yeah, it's been 105 here in San Dimas for weeks, but I decide to go to NB, and we have clouds. No worries - there is plenty to do here in LA/OC. A few of us have decided to go on a bunch of winery tours in Temecula, and then tomorrow I may head up to Santa Barbara instead of Malibu.

To celebrate my last 2 weeks of freedom/vacation, my mom is coming out to stay with us for a week. My parents have been great about visiting - this is her 5th trip here since I moved. And I've been home 4 times. So, I get to see the folks a lot. My trips back east will virtually stop for a while, now, though. My calendar just will not allow for it.

Speaking of, I'm attaching my upcoming Fall '06 academic calendar, for those of you who liked to follow along last year.

Western U./COMP Fall '06 schedule

As if learning what my innermost fears and phobias are from our esteemed professor of Gross Anatmy and Musculoskeletal last night, I thought I'd continue your amusement with the ever popular Southern Survey, courtesy of Rebecca and Wendy:

1. Have you ever gone muddin'?
Is that an S&M thing? Im gonna have to say "no" and not give Beth any more info than she's already been privy to.

2. Have you ever lived on a dirt/gravel road?
Ha. No.

3. Ever been swimming in a lake or river?
Yes. Both.

4. Ever been to a bonfire party?
Only on the beach.

5. Have you ever driven a tractor?
Please. Not even if BMW made tractors ...

6. Have you ever been on a horse?
Yes. Many times.

7. Ford or Chevy?
BMW

8. Kissed someone in a pick up?
Yes.

9. What's your favorite country song?
uh yeah... no.

10. Ever done 90 miles per hour down a dirt road?
mmm. Nope.

11. Worked / Lived on a farm?
Hell no.

12. Been to a rodeo?
No, the clowns deeply disturb me. And I'd rather watch adults tie themselves up. I think.

13. Do you own cowboy boots?
Please.

14. Do you have a cowboy hat?
Straw beach hat.

15. Have you ever said git r done?
What does that even mean?

16. Country skyline or a city skyline?
City. Naturally.

17. Can you name a rodeo star?
Yeah.. uh no.

18. Do you think tractors are sexy?
Sexy in a "look at the busty blonde on the tractor" way? Or sans the chick?

19. Ever rode a 4-wheeler?
My BMW is all wheel drive. Does that count?

20. Are you from the country?
Last time I checked, NYC was about as far away from country as you can get. But Connecticut ... it has it's country-like parts.

21. If so, are you proud of it?
Go Yankees!

22. Gone hunting?
Only in my frig.

23. Gone fishing?
Yes, when I was a kid.

24. Is your heart in dixie?
In general, I try to avoid putting any body parts near dix.

25. Been on a hay ride?
Yes, the haunted Halloween variety.

26. Have you ever line danced?
Dear god. I would stroke out.

27. Camped under the stars?
Yes.

28. Have you ever been cow tippin?
Possibly during a drunken spring weekend at UConn.

29. Do you drive a pick up truck?
No, but I have one in my possession.

30. Fell asleep in a hay stack?
With all those creepy, crawly bugs in them?? Seriously, no.

31. Own a pair of overalls?
blink, blink.

32. Drank Moonshine?
Does Jack Daniels count?

33. Include the word "yonder" in your daily vocabulary?
If I do, I should be smacked.

34. Ever shoveled manure?
Yes, horse manure, when I rode way back yonder in my youth.

35. Milked a cow?
Ew.

36. Plucked a chicken?
No, but I made chicken cutlets a few times.

37. Is sweet tea your favorite drink?
The only tea I like is Harrod's Earl Grey.

38. Been to a race?
Car race? No. People with no teeth make me nervous.

39. Know all the words to at least one David Allen Coe song?
I wouldn't know the fella if he bit me in the ass.

40.Have you ever made out in a back of a pick-up?
I'd have to say no.

My w/e plan recap promise, from last night, for those of you in the immediate area:

Tonight: Jazz Night at Press in Claremont, 8.30pm. "9-hole Natkin" promises to buy everyone a round! ;) (Sorry, E!)

Tomorrow: help Arriel move and then drinks with Wayne-O at Characters. (Good thing I drink H2O and caffeine, or my liver would be shot trying to keep up with youz all.)

Saturday: Newport Beach. 11am til whenever we feel like slithering off to dinner or lighting the bonfire. Call me for our location.

Sunday: you're all on your own - I am heading out to Malibu and dinner in West Hollywood.

Peri - what day you back? Tuesday? Just in time to help me entertain mom. :) We have lots of catching up to do, Sphincy. You bring your Glenfiddich and I'll supply the stogies and Vicodin.

I do not disappoint - yes, I still obsess on shiny objects - even those that do not fall specifically into the medical device category.

These days, I am drooling over the Motorola Q.

I. Must. Have. One. And my fucking disbursement can't get here fast enough. (Have I mentioned I hate not being gainfully employed and living the lifestyle to which I had grown accustomed??? It means I have to have PATIENCE. How much does that suck?)

AMF - you're back, my friend!!! Please, come join me in giving well-woman exams! (It really isn't a pick-up line anymore, is it... who knew.) You can still be office manager/nurse/PAP technician, whatever. ;) Tell the wife you're doing God's work (hey, it's what my dad keeps telling me I am doing, so it must be Catholic-approved).

A few months ago, at the request of several friends, I became a blonde for the 2nd time in my life. Although much of it has grown out and been trimmed away, my hair has retained a lot of the blonde highlights, and I am digging it. So much so that I was thinking of just keeping my hair a much lighter shade of brown with lots of highlights, as it is now. Nevertheless, I have been talked into going back, once again, to the blonde bombshell 'do by ... the 2 blondes in my life, Deb and Beth. Naturally.

I wish I could say that they just want me to join their "dumb blondes" club, however, they are both super geniuses and make my Mensa membership look as impressive as being a member of Costco.

Hanging around these two is like having my own personal Discovery Channel. Everytime I have a question, one of them chimes in with a very detailed and technical answer. Of course, they ask me a medical question, and I reply with a blank stare and say something remarkably profound like, "Who wants another drink?"

I imagine I should be hearing more blonde jokes by week's end, but if you have any now, add 'em to the comments section. I need some ammo!

I said I'd start to post some pics... so here's one of the new place.
More to come ... eventually.

Down to the last 4 weeks of vacation ... sigh. And I am already making plans for my next couple of trips during the fall. I'll be studying my ass off for the USMLE and COMLEX over the next 11 months, so my vacation time and traveling will be severely limited next year until I am well into my clinical rotations (meaning no break until mid-winter, possibly 2008).

Sadly, for me, I had plans to go back east for Thanksgiving, and I just found out I have an exam the Tuesday afterwards, so that very well may not happen now. If thats the case, I may not be back until I do my psychiatry rotation in NYC. (Yes, I know a few of you closet haters who are rejoicing. Bite me.)

So, where will I be going? Let's see: there's a 4-day trip to San Francisco in September to chill with Jack and Miki, then 4 days in Vegas with, oh, all my buds from school to celebrate Dr. Beth's outstanding achievement, then a week in Hawaii in January with some very special people. And this weekend - we're heading out to Catalina Island for some snorkeling, parasailing, and everything else we can think of!

Tomorrow night, I am in charge of making a gourmet (ulp!) dinner with very little help from Deb and Beth (who will be eating whatever I put in front of them). I am at a total loss as to where to begin, and need to go grocery shopping tonight.

I hope they like garlic encrusted Cheerios with a side of cheese fries.

::ducking::

And on a last, but definitely not least note: I want to say CONGRATS!!!! to one very special friend - Dr. Man Ass himself, Eric Sharp, who so gallantly spread his seed forth, and will soon be adding to the population of California by +1. He and his wife, Nicole are expecting and he has assured me that I will be an expert at diaper changing and baby vomit in no time. I can hardly wait! ;) Congrats, Eric and Nicole!!! Let the sleep deprivation begin! On behalf of DWW, we're right there with you all the way! And, yes, that stroller makes your man ass look HUGE.

And on a personal note: keep that THING way from me! It's loaded!

I hate him.

He's a fucking space-occupying lesion breathing my oxygen.

Parties, parties, parties! All weekend long! All summer long! We are opening up the new place tonight for visitors for BBQs, naked hot tubbing, and beer. Not necessarily in that order.

The official house-warming will be soon, but if you want to drop by this weekend, call for direx!

And on a side note ...last night I worked in a women's clinic and did my first pap smear. It was cool! And I didn't pass out, faint, or feel queasy. (Neither did the patient.) Not that I ever do. I am Super Doc! :) Last week I saw a really bad foot ulcer from diabetes - half the foot was gone (open wound), right down to the tendons. Finally! Medicine is getting interesting!

Got my ass kicked by a giant wave. Almost died.

Finished moving. Finally in new townhouse.

Celebrated down in MdR w/ D.

Very tired. Very. Tired.

B has returned.

Back to the gators... and Heroes.

Tomorrow. Noon. Malibu. Zuma. Look for King Man Ass, Mikey and me and a bunch of boogie boards!

PERI!!! What the fuck, yo? WHERE ARE YOU?? Little miss "Yes, I will so be around to study for boards!!!"

Pah. If you don't return pronto, you'll be sitting with the 22 yr olds come August.

Ha.

Oh yes, and a hardy congratulations to the soon to be Dr. HAH!!!!! Finally, you have earned a legit Bond girl name!!

Have I mentioned that I am moving?

Well, I am. Slowly. (Hell, the beach beckons! And moving sucks.) And it may as well be to Malibu, since I have been living there lately (sadly, not the $15 million beachfront estate B spoiled us with! Damn!). I love being salty, sandy, and having crazy beach hair for days on end. And, it's refreshing to not have to play the role of respectable doctor, wear proper clothing, and memorize 22 gajillion drugs in 4 hours - well, at least not until 5pm tomorrow, when I have to see patients in the clinic for a few hours, and thus, wear clothing. (How sad for me.)

Where, exactly, is this palatial new townhouse I am moving into, you ask? 'Tis a secret -- only the most excellent cabana boys, Bill & Ted, know.

Want a twinkie, Ghengis Khan?

Side note: best thing I heard on the beach all day: "I had the Dalai Lama bless the water for my bong."

I'll be at the beaches in Malibu the next 4 days.

Yeah, it's a rough life, but someone's gotta live it.

Here are a few snapshots of what I have been up to all week. The first is a photo of the lab I am working in this summer, and 1 pic is of one of the gator heads I am currently dissecting.

As an added bonus, here's a pic of the world famous paleontologist with Sue, the T. rex ...

... and a snapshot of me working in the lab.

Things have been going really well so far despite some technical glitches in the lab (broken saw blade, no power at the university for one full day, missing lab keys, etc.). However, it's been terrific, and I've already learned how to cast molds of dino bones, cut samples for microscopic slides, dissect alligator heads, not to mention I have been pimped by Beth on head and neck anatomy, of which I remember very little. It reminds me of how much I need to review, and I have already blown through 3 weeks of vacation. But I am grateful to have her rattle my brain a bit each day - it forces me to recall tons of facts and figures, which I know are somewhere lodged in my gray matter - it's just a matter of finding where I filed the stuff.

In exchange for the "tutoring sessions" and tolerating my presence in her lab, I dutifully treat her to coffee and breakfast each morning. (So, see, I am not totally self absorbed. Just partially.)

Despite the pimping and anatomy review, I have not been as diligent as I would have liked with regard to stuyding for boards over the past 3 weeks. I have listened to about 5 hours of board review CDs and have ordered my books for the upcoming Cardiology class. And sadly that's it. So, this weekend I need to really get moving and start getting about 2-3 hours a day in 2-3 times per week.

Next week the boss lady will be out of town, so I will be in the lab on my own. (Which means early mornings in the lab and later afternoons at the beach studying, hopefully.) It feels oddly surreal to be "working" full days again. I can't believe it's been 1 year since I had a job. I am tired! I thought school was exhausting. Then again, I think I am tired for other reasons. I'm kind of having a lot of fun right now - and probably should be toning down the afterwork activities.

Nah.

Today was absolutely spectacular! Beautiful weather, relaxing ... sis, Pete, Nick and Maceo came out east for a visit, and we chilled in the pool. We all took a ride out to see the new pad, which they loved (I'll post pics soon). I am so ready to just get the hell out of this place and move! I have the keys to the new digs, but boxes still need to be packed and furniture lifted. Ugh. I hate moving.

I am feeling a bit feisty today - I think I am still overtired from the journey. I should feel well rested, seeing as I went to bed at 9pm last night and slept 'til 7 (hey, for me, that's LATE). I should also go to bed right now, since tomorrow is Day 1 of the summer research project. For the next 8 weeks, Beth "owns" me (or so she says) -- and honestly, I don't know who should be more frightened at that thought, me or her. I guess being cooped up with me in a lab for hours and hours while I am off my ADD meds is pretty friggin scary, so I guess we should all pity her. (Just kidding! I am still medicated. Kind of. Heh.) I think we start the alligator dissections this week. I was pretty decent at human dissection, so hopefully I won't make too much of an ass of myself slicing gators. I suppose I can bring her coffee every morning, in order to start off on her good side ... before she realizes the huge mistake she's making by letting me play with sharp, shiny objects and dead animals. Hmm.

Before I sign off and get some sleep, I do need to address one very important issue: no, I don't know what my problem is with regard to my unnatural obsession with the weather. Everyone has been asking me lately, and all I can say is I live for the sun. Call is seasonal affective disorder, call it insanity -- I just need to be in sunny, hot weather. Cold, rainy, damp, dreary days just depress the hell out of me and I have found nothing that can console me. I also physically feel horrible during the fall/winter. I bitched a lot about living in CT -- mostly because I was always in pain. I learned more recently that my OA and allergies were a bg reason behind my misery. Case in point: I naturally do not have a hoarse, scratchy voice - but I was in CT for a day when the raspy, throaty voice thing came roaring back thanks to my fauty immune system. I have not sounded like Brenda fucking Vaccaro in 12 months! But now I do - again. I was also limping for the 1st time in a year from the arthritis. So, it's not all psychological. Admittedly, some of my disdain for being in the northeast is personal - for the past 10 years, I really was not there by choice, and more often than not, made that fact known. Why? Because I can be a royal pain in the ass and I am difficult. I am feisty, loud, opinionated, and I know what I want. It could be worse... I could be dull and quiet and unassuming. :)

I will say that I do like Ct to the extent that it is very nice, very cosmopolitan, and has some amazing attributes (great sailing, beautiful towns, an important role in US history ... ok... now I am grasping here). My family and best friends all live there, and it will always, always be home to me and be very special to me. I love CT - I really do. But, like some people, I must love it from a distance... or else I get hurt.

We made it back to LA! 2800+ miles in 4 days - not too shabby. We averaged about 13 hours a day driving. I actually did most of the driving because the day we were going to leave (Tuesday), Deb fell and badly sprained her left ankle (left anterior talofibular ligament due to an inversion). I have been teasing her that she will do anything to get out of having to drive. I think, however, that having spent the past 11 months concentrating for up to 18 hours a day rendered my brain more than capable for the mental work required to drive for extended periods of time. It was actually pretty easy for me to go 5-6 hours without a break.
The trip itself was a lot nicer (and more adventurous) in terms of sites to see than our trek back in December. On Wednesday, we hit the usual NY, NJ, and PA, and then through Ohio, where we crashed for the night in Columbus. On Thursday, we conquered Indiana, Illinois, Missouri (home of Man Ass), stopping for the night in mid-Kansas.

Friday was spent outrunning a menacing storm throughout most of Kansas -- I was thoroughly convinced we were going to be tossed around by a tornado, the winds were so strong. The weather reports on the local stations were warning us it was a “very severe thunderstorm” and motorists were being advised to get off the roads and “seek shelter immediately.” In my head, a Kansas severe storm = killer tornado that flings motor homes and large farm animals across the state. So, I quickly began scanning the exits for signs of a Starbucks where we could camp out until the danger had passed -- shockingly, no such place exists. (Speaking of: why the hell do people who live in tornado country insist on a) living there to begin with b) own trailer homes on land dotted by large free-roaming farm animals, and c) do not understand the importance of being properly caffeinated?)

Naturally, the thought of a possible tornado combined with a lack of a dark roast blend latte raised my blood pressure considerably. It also, miraculously, made Deb’s ankle feel much better, so she insisted this would be a good time for her to drive. Of course, Deb’s dream is to be one of those brainless storm chasers, like Helen Hunt in “Twister,” so she jumped at the chance to boot me out of the driver’s seat. I then spent the next few hours with bone white knuckles, gripping the “holy shit bar” on the passenger side of the truck as raindrops bigger than my head bounced off the roof. (The only joy I would have gotten from a close encounter with a tornado would have been to see a fat ass cow fly by the truck, like it did in the movie.) We could see lightning bolts streak across the dark sky behind us. Deb kept telling me that, if the sky turned emerald green, to let her know as that was a sign of possible tornado activity. Upon seeing the look of terror in my eyes as I scanned every inch of sky, she then corrected herself and said it was no longer tornado season. (Ha – I watched the weather channel this morning and learned there was a huge twister in Kansas yesterday!) Thankfully, we made it across the border into Colorado and just catching the very tail edge of the storm.

To be continued…

After a week back in CT, I am back on the road to LA. And I now have my dog back!! We are driving the northern route - well, I-70. Last night we stopped in Columbus, Ohio, and tonight we have landed somewhere in the middle of Kansas after a 14 hour journey through Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri and then KC.

I am sad to report that, as expected, there is not a damn thing happening in the midwest... except for outstanding BBQ! Thank god for Kansas City, KS. Actually, I have been pleasantly surprised by Kansas. It was rather nice around KC, and from what I recall from someone I used to know who was from there, the city itself is quite cosmopolitan. Unfortunately, we didn't have time to check it out - only a quick stop for some famous brisket sandwiches. As we got further out on I-70, though, and night fell and the winds picked up, I started getting a bit nervous about my surroundings and decided to call it a night.

Tomorrow's goal is to be in Denver right around lunch, and then take our time through the Rockies and enjoy the sights.

I plan to land back in LA on Saturday evening - just in time for the secons half of what looks like will be a spectacular weekend.

When I am less tired, I will blog more about my past week - it was outstanding, and I had a fantastic time with all my old friends (all 25 of you!) and family.

Fairfield has changed a lot in the year since I left - some parts I didn't recognize! I actually did get to go back to my house and meet my tenants and see what they've done with the place (not much). They were nice - and ... I'll say no more. Being a landlord is not my bag, but then again, I am not really the one in charge. Good thing, too, because I have noticed a tendency to get all bitchy, ruthless, and businesslike - yes, a new side of me. (I want to raise the rent A LOT, especially after seeing that my neighbor's house is now for sale for 2x the price he paid for it 3 years ago. Note to self: watch the RE market in CT closely...)

And, finally, for those waiting with baited breath about my commentary on Ct's weather: YES, IT SUCKED! It rained, it poured, it hailed and snowed, but this was no surprise. I expected as much. ;) I still had a lot of fun anyway, despite the evil weather gods that dwell in the northeast. However, now that I have a place to live with more than 1 bedroom, a 2 car garage, pool, hot tub, naked cabana boys and women to fan me with palm fronds and feed me chocolate truffles, I think my friends can make the trek out to LA next!

Yeah, I suppose I should update this, huh. I've been catching up on much needed sleep over the past 3 days - and celebrating.

Monday's final exam was probably one of the hardest I took all year long. It was on blood and lymphatics, and covered about 100 chemo, HIV and anemia drugs, anemia, lymphoma, leukemias (all of them) and bone marrow transplants. I am STILL tired. About 12:01pm (exam ended at 12:00) I was in Characters celebrating with classmates. 2 hours later, it was beer and pizza, then off to dinner with my advisor, another doc, the dean and some classmates, then off to a huge class bonfire in Corona del Mar. Tuesday it was more BBQing at a friend's house, then packing. I left at the crack of dawn Wednesday... and have been camped out at my parents' place since then. Lots of plans with friends... and I'll fill in the details shortly. But now I'm off to Brooklyn to see the grandmothers, then back to CT for dinner with Jack and Miki (YAY!).

In other quick news: I did get my grade, and did just fine (Thanks, B!) and... I will be moving out of the apartment and to somewhere much, much better as soon as I return. More details to follow ...

Here's my little AJ, helping me get through the plethora of lymphomas, leukemias and other disorders of the blood and lymphatic system. I am actually as tired as she is, but in 42 hours, it will all be over and I will be an MSII!!!

2 more days!!! Dear god, where has the time gone...

I am really in the home stretch (no pun intended), and am getting punchier by the minute.

I will be home one week from tonight (heads up for some; warning to others) and am looking forward to squeezing the hell out of my dog, who will be accompanying me back to LA in 2 weeks. YAY! (I may be squeezing some unfortunate friends, too - but, if I break any bones, I know how to fix 'em! :)

My parents are threatening to move to an undisclosed locale with said puppy so as to avoid the custody battle. I do feel badly that they will miss her - but I miss her more!

Well, I'm off to learn my pharmacology: Cancer drugs/chemotherapy. We had a double dose of Wongicillin today (2 hours of lecture from Dr. Wong - professor extraordinaire of "butt weasel" fame) and he's responsible for 19 of the 79 final exam questions! (Um, yeah, that's a lot.) I am going to miss him this summer (seriously) - the man makes me laugh like no one else. Mostly because he cracks himself up and none of us can understand him half the time.

I'll leave you with his joke of the day, exactly how he told it: "Your momma so fat, she jump for joy and get stuck."

[tears...]

Ahhh yes... the life of a SoCal med student... toiling away at the intricacies of the blood and lymphatic system while enjoying the sites and sounds of Dockweiler Beach. :) (Did I mention I need a haircut?? And... why does my head look so unnaturally large??)

I have found coffee nirvana -- it's Coffeemate's Creme de Coconut. Holy shit. I swear it's liquid crack.

I am totally addicted. I suppose I could be addicted to worse things... especially out here in the land of fruits and nuts. Wow.

I must go have my next fix. (Hey, I am actually being productive while caffeinated -- I am learning my HIV drugs and treatments.)

Hanging out at The Wave House and MTV in San Diego! Boats, beaches, blondes and boo-.. um. Yeah.

Did I mention I am on vacation??!?!! Well, for the next few days!

One more week of classes left! And, damn, this isn't an easy system. We have to learn more than 75 cancer, anemia and HIV drugs, not to mention countless side effect profiles, different virii, the pathology and lab tests to identify diseases of the blood ... Aye. It's a lot -- and it's Memorial Day weekend!

So, what am I going to do? Oh, yeah, I will be studying - all day tomorrow, Sunday and Monday... but tomorrow night I am heading to San Diego for 2 days to hang out at the beach and the MTV Beach House! (my bro-in-law works for MTV.) I am sure I will be able to stand being around drunk <21 yr olds for only so long, so we have plans to do other things, too.

The Thursday night of Mem. Day weekend traditionally was my kick-off for summer. I used to start my sailing/racing series on this night for the past 8 years. I am missing being out on Kaleidoscope tonight, so here's a little reminiscing if only for just me.

I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful long weekend! And to my best buddies back in CT -- Heather, Nanette, Miki, Jack, Nancy, Nicole, Mare, Chizzy, Melissa, Nina, Chris, Candace, Carol, Amy, Anne, oh hell, everyone -- I'm looking forward to seeing you all 2 weeks from today! I miss you guys like crazy!

I know things have been a bit scarce around here these days. Any time I have not been studying I have been out with friends, and lately it's been the friend side of the scale weighing more heavily than the books. That's a good thing, oddly enough. Spending a lot of time with people who have become very important to me has been wonderful for my blood pressure, my attitude, and my grades apparently. Go figure! I guess the relaxation thing really works, as evidenced by my recent grades in my Musculoskeletal (orthopedics) course. I got an 83 on my midterm last week (after chilling in Malibu Saturday night) and then on this past Monday's final exam I nailed a 102 - yes 102! There was extra credit.

So, yeah, as I am wrapping up the last week and a half, things have been getting busy.

I also have my final OSCE tomorrow - this is my clinical medicine class where I have to take the appropriate histories and physicals on patients based on their chief complaint. So, I need to stop procrastinating. (It's 80 and sunny... making it rather hard to pay attention right now.)

Today, however, was kind of special. My friend and advisor, Beth, was granted tenure a few weeks ago, and also won a national award, the SOMA George Northup Distinguished Service Award, which is a pretty prestigious accomplishment in medicine. We had a celebration for her at the university today, and I was asked to speak, as I had been the one to nominate her for the award. It was an incredible honor for me. Admittedly, I was a bit nervous. Not about speaking in public in front of most of my class of 200 + university administration -- but because my friends decided to occupy the first row and threatened to make faces and obscene gestures at me as I spoke. Fortunately, I forgot my glasses, and couldn't see their faces - I was lucky enough to be able to read my speech! Speaking of speeches, I wanted to post it here in this space. I will say, first, that not only has Beth been instrumental in guiding me through what is traditionally known as a difficult first year, but she has also given me the fantastic opportunity to work and travel with her this summer. She has also been a very good friend to me, and I feel very fortunate to have the opportunity to spend time with her and her family. So, here it is:

Journalist and former ESPN commentator Keith Olberman once said, “Life is defined by how much you improve the lives of others." So, it is a great honor for me to be up here speaking on behalf of Dr. Rega, who, during what seemed to be a lightning fast MS1 year, has already profoundly impacted my life, very positively, and the lives of many other first year students here at COMP.

All kidding aside, in closing, I want to congratulate Dr. Rega again on her accomplishment. I feel that she is an invaluable asset to the university and its students, and I am looking forward to working closely with her over the next three years and beyond. Dr. Rega, no one was more deserving of this award, and I think I can speak for my class in thanking you for your outstanding work in guiding us this past year, for sharing with us your enthusiasm for medicine and teaching, and for making our MS1 a remarkable and unforgettable part of our lives.

Monday morning: Muscloskeletal Exam -- really friggin hard. Very fair exam, but hard.
Afternoon: Post-test party with the crew at Characters (our own version of Cheers, but a lot crappier).
Night: Hottubbing and swimming with the crew here at my place. It was a rough day.

Tuesday: Full day followed by drinks with a friend and dinner at the now traditional Tapas Tuesday in Claremont. Nice...

Wednesday: Full day, then a Lambda GLBT end of year party here at my place for the university's gay med student/vet student/pharmacy student club (I'm an officer). Lots of fun!

Thursday: Full day, followed by a TMJ workshop. Got my grade back: B! Woohoo!

Friday: 1/2 day; lunch with a friend and now studying for Monday's exam... before I pass out. I have been going nonstop for weeks. In an odd twist of fate, my grades get better the more I go out.

As B says, it must have to do with all the sunshine, warm weather, and my psyche. (Most likely, its because I have 2 weeks left and I am jumping out of my skin because I made it through the year!!!) I am so happy! I love southern Cal!! I am actually not grumpy anymore. It's so weird ...

I am also hoping to catch the Da Vinci Code this weekend if all those idiots that don't have a clue about Rennaissance art but want to pretend to be intellectual and culturally aware don't go and buy up every available ticket in LA. (OK, so maybe still a tiny bit grumpy... :)

It's not everyday one gets to spend a night hanging out at a $15 million estate on Malibu beach, fireside, with the waves crashing just a few feet away... but that's exactly what I did last night!!! Why? Because my friends rock! Long story... which I will get to once my exam is over tomorrow. You know who you are -- you, my friend, are the BEST!

Wednesday night we had a casting workshop as part of our musculoskeletal course. Eric got to put my arm in a cast, and with said cast firmly in place, I slapped one on him. The initial plan was to cast his ass, but we were running out of plaster. Ha. Not all was lost, however, as I roped my advisor, Dr. Rega, into a little torture by plaster --I cast her leg! Payback is a bitch! ;) Earlier in the day, she made me, well, the whole class, suffer through a pilates class for an hour (it actually was really a lot of fun and very cool), and I won't even begin to describe the embarassment that ensued in the OMM lab during that fiasco...

I got excellent (100%) marks on my mock OSCE today -- meaning I was able to interview, examine and "treat" a patient the proper way!! I love getting positive feedback from patients -- it reinforces my decision to become Supah Doc!

Speaking of career switching -- I am so glad I got out of tech journalism... because I friggin' hate technology! I used to LOVE shiny new gadgets -- in a very unnatural way. But, I finally got fed up with my Treo 600 after it randomly started signing onto the Internet, dropping calls, not ringing EVER, etc. I am keeping it around as a Palm Pilot for now. I am sure a new smart phone is in my future. Alas, I broke down and went lo-tech and bought a Razr. So far, I like it... except for the fact that the battery died on me today without warning. Just shut right the f*ck off while I was in mid conversation. I am suspecting there's an issue here (naturally), but I don't have time to figure it out -- I haven't even had time to read the manuals, and have only programmed in 5 select phone numbers thus far.

Dear god...I feel so 1998.

I doubt I will get to it this weekend, either -- I've got a midterm exam on Monday! And I plan to be at the beach studying most of the time, if I can help it. There's a very good chance I will be out in Malibu watching the grunion orgy on Saturday night, too ... With all this excitement, who has time to program cell phones? (Have I mentioned that I have been out carousing every night for the past, oh, 10 days? Bad monkey!)

OK, back to the bananas books!

For those interested in the upcoming Tour du Ct, I arrive Wednesday night, June 7, and depart Wednesday morning, June 14. I rearranged my plans so that I would be in CT a tiny bit longer, since I will be spending the Christmas 2006 holiday season in Maui (yeah, baby!) and may not make it back east again until ... well, hmm, possibly summer 2007. So, if you have not yet heard from me about plans, don't fret - I will be calling this week! Or, call Heather -- I am appointing her as the chief poker party planner. And for those of you not interested and plan to get the hell out of Dodge during my brief stay, now you can plan accordingly. ;) (Tsk... no OMM for you.)

One month left! And don't think for a second my subconscious and unconscious minds aren't aware of that fact -- it is so hard to concentrate these days. And sleep! Having a bad case of spring fever while in medical school in Southern California is not a good thing, especially when one has a difficult time as it is staying focused and locked in. I feel like I haven't done a thing all week long except celebrate, hang out at a pool, and ... just chill. (But hey, I did score an excellent grade on my psychiatry final exam, and should end up with an A in that class!)

But wow, it's an incredible feeling to know that I almost have one year under my belt. And what an amazing year it has been. The hardest year, however, is right smack ahead of me. Second year combines yet another 60+ credits along with intensive board study into 9 fun-filled months. I also slip right into my clinical rotations without much more than a week or two off as soon as the Spring 2007 semester ends next May. I'm a little nervous just thinking about it.

I am trying in vain to refrain from dwelling too much on the future, as the possibilities change so rapidly, it's hard to grab hold of just one or two. It seems like every day new exciting opps fall into my lap. It's a little overwhelming.

And before I blow any chances of future success, I must get back to writing up my case study on shoulder injuries, learn the surgical procedures to heal torn rotator cuffs, and prepare for my quiz on Monday.

Kudos, congrats, and way to go! You more than deserve it, and it couldn't have happened to a more deserving woman!

"Major Tom" down there told me earlier: "Now that mommy is a big deal, maybe she will buy me a Harley Fat Boy, too!"

LA & Darwin, Beth's way cool son, toolin' around in Claremont

Apparently, I like blondes -- especially myself. Who knew? Ok, so it's not a huge secret - after all, my stunning girlfriend is a blonde, and in 4 short days, I will be joining the party.

Did I mention Nicole chopped off my locks today? Oh yeah - it's spiky again. I guess I got tired of the old look. Or maybe I am having my 2nd (or is it my 3rd?) mid-life crisis?

Pics shall be forthcoming... after my psych exam... and after I buy the surfboard. (Where are you, ANNIE!?!?!)

PS - this is for Aubri: What accent?!?!?! I got your caaaaffee right here, damn it. I am going to the beach tomorrow to study -- where will you be? Oh that's right... in Hanover! Is it still snowing in New Hampshire? Better wear your parka! Ha!

The answer to the burning question is: I really don't know yet what days I will land in CT. Something like June 7, 8, 9 ... that's all I can say for now. I have to be back here in LA by June 19-ish, and since I will be driving back here (making yet another cross-country trek), my time home is limited. But... I do plan to party at Archie's on Monday June 12, ladies!! That much I do know!

I may go back to CT at the end of July for a very brief visit (like a weekend) if I don't get eaten by an alligator (or swarm of Palmetto bugs) in Florida in the interim.

OK, back to cramming for the Psychiatry final exam on Monday.

And I'll leave you with these words of wisdom I heard earlier this week: "You gotta go where the love is, not where it ought to be."

This has been one intense week! We are wrapping up our psychiatry and behavioral medicine course tomorrow, and, as if to save the “good stuff” for last, we are finally getting to the really interesting (and difficult) material. Ironically, while I am quite anxious for summer to be here, I now find myself wishing this course would continue.
This week we finally touched upon those topics that scare the hell out of many new doctors -- the stuff that really breaks your heart to see, and the stuff we all want to learn to heal: depression, suicide, psychiatric disorders, alcoholism, and domestic violence and abuse. As a friend once used to tell me, I now have “the tools” -- a great grasp of the concepts and how to diagnose and begin to help someone -- but I really wish I had the knowledge, the experience, and the courage to treat them wholly and completely. I know that time will come when I get to my clinical rotations and residency, but it's so frustrating waiting for that to happen!

Last night, as part of the course, I had to attend a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous over in Brentwood. This “open” meeting had several hundred people in attendance, which was a different style of meeting than I had ever attended before. It was huge! And very cool – I must say. I chose to go to this particular meeting because I had not had the opportunity to experience one of this size in the past, and I am already quite familiar with the smaller, intimate settings that generally make up the majority of AA/Al Anon meetings.

As mentioned above, AA is not new to me, and this was not the first meeting I have attended, nor will it be the last. I have personally been impacted by alcoholism, and I have friends and family members all in their own long-term stages of recovery. I found it interesting that all medical students are required to attend at least one meeting… I really think one is not nearly enough. If it were more practical, I would say med students should attend AA for the duration of the semester and really get a feel for the process their patients will go through. Besides, so many students came back to class with insight into their own patterns of addiction, and those within their families.

Now, I don’t want to come across as glowing and starry eyed about AA, as I do think it has its flaws. While I think AA offers the best hope for long-term recovery for alcoholics, I do have some issues with the reliance upon God (or a higher power) and prayer as integral parts of the program. As an atheist, I often find it difficult to relate to a “higher power.” Even though I try to be more open-minded, I am sometimes put off by the prayers said at the close of the meetings, despite knowing how important it is for so many others. I feel like someone else’s religion is being forced upon me, even though deep within I know this is not the case. I try to remind myself of the mantra “Take what you need and leave the rest,” yet, I still find it tough to rely on faith as a large portion of my own process.

We also had some intense lectures on domestic violence, and while I am planning to get in depth on this subject this weekend, I said I would post this number for anyone who may need it:

National Domestic Violence hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE

And now back to the books!

The class of 2009 had its official Black Tie Optional semi-formal banquet on Saturday night. Ordinarily, I shun these events... but I was talked into it by my good pals, and we had an amazing time! Since I talk so much about everyone, I figured I'd put some faces to the names. Below is most of the main group - minus 2.

From left to right: Phil (Wendy's hub), Wendy "Pelvic Tit", Nicole (Eric's wife), Eric "Man Ass", Deb, Me, Arriel, Peri "Sphincter", Kristen, Jen (Kristen's wife).

Neurosensory exam was a slam dunk! Got my grade back, and I am very pleased. I also finished the written portion of my OMM exam today and have the practical tomorrow morning at 11.23am. Then, I get to concentrate fully on psychiatry -- we're finally getting into the really good stuff like schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. We saw some intense videos yesterday, which truthfully made me a little nervous. I'm not afraid of it - it's just that the symptoms of so many mental illnesses are so very similar, it's hard to knonw when you're making the right diagnosis. Giving someone a wrong Dx is not cool, as it tends to take a lot to remove the stigma associated with it. (Many of the meds used to treat different MIs are the same, so that's less of an issue, but still a major concern.)

Well, off to to practice some more OMM ... but as a little teaser, I have been invited to a Passions bachelorette party tomorrow night -- one of my classmates is getting married and some friends are throwing her one of those parties where they sell sex toys and lubes and god knows what else. (Yeah, here I am playing the naive doctor ... is it working??) I'm going with friends, so this ought to be a freakin' riot. Maybe... I'll take some hidden cam pics.

And on a final note: only 6 more weeks until I get my dog -- and yes, B, I WILL be bringing her home! ;)

Down to the last 6 weeks of my first year of med school... and things are speeding up quickly. I have 2 final exams this week, 2 quizzes (not exactly of the "light and harmless" variety) next week, another final a week after that, and then I begin another system course: Musculoskeletal. The last 3 weeks of school literally ushers in 2 full courses, one of which is only a week long, but still just as important as all the others.

Ugh. It's getting harder to stay focused these days... but I am determined to stay locked in and focused until June 6. Then, and only then, will I exhale... until, of course, I go to Florida w/ my esteemed and wonderful advisor as part of my summer research project. :) For a few days in sunny Orlando, I will be trying my best to attempt to know what I am doing as I dig up old bones for her paleo research, and try to not scream like a little girl when I am swarmed by the palmetto bugs and god knows what else she has promised to torment me with.

Seriously though, I can't wait! I got into med school, so I can certainly get over my fear of large, flying insects. [Note to self: check Valium supply before boarding plane]

Oh god..

I realize it's been a little bit since my last post - I am still recovering from a 4.5 hour neurology exam (Monday) and 3 nights worth of academic/professional networking commitments.

The exam went OK, as far as I can tell. I won't know until tomorrow at the earliest - maybe not even until next week sometime. It was long and it made my brain spin and vibrate for a few hours afterwards - kind of like a CD ROM a few seconds after you have closed an application: it still spins in the drive even though the program has ended.

So, yes, I began my course in psychiatry on Tuesday. So far it's really cool. We're beginning with drug and alcohol abuse and several mental illnesses, and getting used to working with the DSM IV. Thus far I haven't diagnosed myself with anything, but I have had some interesting insights about others of which I was previously unaware. Heh. (No...I will not disclose them here. Maybe on my super secret other blog though...;)

Today we had 3 hours on substance abuse and the pharmacology of illicit street drugs: how cocaine, heroin, meth, marijuana, etc. affect the mind/brain, and what are the side effects - both long and short term. Pretty interesting stuff, seeing as I have always had a very limited knowledge in this area. As part of a class assignment, we all have to attend (not at the same time!) an AA meeting to get a first hand experience as to what that is like.

Last night I attended an excellent dinner for the American Medical Women's Association's mentors' dinner, and spent some time speaking with some really interesting and exceptionally intelligent women, including a neurosurgeon who previously studied particle physics. Great stuff here. One of the best parts about life outside of medical school is the networking opportunities: I have had the chance to meet some really fascinating people and make some great connections for the future. Even within the school, the profs and administration are very approachable, which makes me feel respected and valued. This afternoon I spent a few minutes chatting with our Dean, who is a really great guy - down to earth, easy to chat with, good sense of humor. It's nice to know he knows who I am -- seeing as I am 1 of 210 MS-I's. It's interesting to note that, while I really enjoyed graduate school at NYU, I have a better and bigger sense of belonging at Western U. Sometimes it feels like one big giant family. Maybe that's because it's a smaller university... and maybe it's because we all have that mentality of "we're all in this together" ... Whatever it is, it feels great to be excited to get out of bed in the morning -- even when I know I am going to be really stressed out over an upcoming exam, or trying to "do no harm."

I finished my neuroscience/neurology class today. Oh, the horror of it isn't over - no, not by a long shot. I still have a 5 hour marathon exam to take covering 3 weeks (38 hours) worth of lectures on Monday morning. And I am currently dealing with some type of immune response to the buckets of pollen that have been dumped on Southern California this week. Stupid allergies. Don't they realize I had immunology 2 months ago? I'm on to them now ... and I know how to fight those antigenic little bastards, too. Ha!

Um... hmm. There's a slight problem: I filed away all my immuno notes until the summer, when I have to start studying for the USMLE and COMLEX boards. And my brain is too full of neurological dysfunctions for me to rifle through my synapses and pull out my cerebral immuno file.

Dear god - listen to me! I am no longer making sense, and I still have 2 more days of studying to get through.

I can't wait 'til the musculoskeletal system starts in May. I like bones and muscles ... so much easier than this brain stuff.

Ugh.

Well, here's a little bit of fun publicity for my school: 25 of my classmates will be on "The Price Is Right" tomorrow, Thursday, April 6 at 10:00 a.m. on CBS. This was taped over spring break - I would have gone, but I'm not all that into game shows. (Besides, I thought Bob Barker was dead. Heh.)

If you're home and feel inclined, tune in to watch my fellow DO students – all dressed in their black DO 2009 shirts – on television tomorrow as audience members on the show. Also, one of my classmates, Preston, was called to "come on down." Rumor has it he won big!

Back to the books and brain slices - last big neuro exam is on Monday, and I've got a lot of ground to cover.

Then, next week the fun really begins: Psychiatry and Behvaioral Medicine! I finally get to find out what's wrong with all of you.

To tap into my creative brilliance, P. But I promise to hit the important highlights about this evening's antics in the morning.

I'm way too busy trying to watch Last Tango in Paris (it's a Brando thing) and work on my epic hair to blog.

But I did have a few quick minutes to post a quick video I made of my good friend Marc. (Um.. turn up the sound on this one!)

(That's that last time you throw me under the bus, damn it!)

The New Medicine. Check it out today. Learn what MDs are finally learning ... and what DOs knew all along.

As an osteopathic physcian in training, we're learning it all. So should everyone else. PBS is on board with educating the public ... Check it out.

Some people have asked me to post my daily schedule so they can see what we cover each day. (I get a lot of pre-med students coming here who have found my "med school diaries" posts.)I guess that's kind of cool - I know my dad calls me a few times a week and asks me questions like "so, how was your seminar on spinal cord injuries?" or "how did you enjoy the seizure medications lecture?"

So, here's a link to a my schedule for the next month. I wish I could post some of the PowerPoint presentations, but they are proprietary info, so I can't. Have at it! Let me know what you think or if you have any questions on what specifically we learn.

I can't believe it! Only 8.5 weeks left of my semester! In 2 months I will be an MS-II. This year has flown by. At times, it seemed to drag on forever - for example, my time spent in Gross Anatomy. I absolutely loved the class and my profs, but it was loooong. And now Neuro. Don't get me wrong - I love neuro, and consider this class to be outstanding, but once again, it's beginning to feel like an eternity has passed since it began (7 weeks ago). We reviewed a lot this morning, after being away for 10 days, and I was surprised at two things: how much we have learned already, and how much I actually retained in my pea brain. (Don't ask how much I actually forgot...)

I looked at my watch this morning and realized it was already the end of March. I feel like it was just the holidays - I can't believe it's been 3 months already. Dear god. I guess my sense of time passing is less acute because of the seeming lack of a seasonal change, and my time literally is spent in exam-hours: how many until the next one is here. (2 weeks, in case you were wondering.)

This week in neuro class we will be focusing on diagnosing and treating cererbral vascular accidents (strokes), spinal cord injuries, seizure evaluation and management in the Emergency Department, opioid analgesics and antagonists, cerebrovascular disease, and treating whiplash. I also have a Grand Rounds presentation to give on Wednesday afternoon. That doesn't include a small paper I have to write, and 3 other classes for which I need to study.

Damn! I have my work cut out for me... but there is light at the end of the tunnel: Just 2 more months until summer vacation!! (It looks like some of us need a vacation a little more than others, huh):

Everyone, say happy birthday to my bud, Eric!!! He tried to get away with making us forget Friday was his birthday, but he slipped this afternoon. Ha! That happens when you're old...

The old man is 31 now! In Missouri years, I think that equals 142. In Air Force years I think it means he should be stone deaf by now. Oh, that's right - he is. And he's got a terrible case of man-assitis.

Happy Birthday, E!!!

On my second to last day of spring break we took off for Anaheim and went to Knotts Berry Farm - supposedly a more fun amusement park than Disney. We went with my sis, bro-in-law, his bro Nick, and his kid. It was awesome! I haven't had that much fun in a long time. I ate all kinds of crap like funnel cake and popcorn and went on roller coasters that I am certain had a negative impact on my blood pressure. But we had a fantastic time. Ironically, after 10 days of non-stop action, this is the most relaxed I have felt in over 2 years, if not longer. I was thinking about this, actually, after my sister remarked that all the tension was gone from my face and I was glowing and smiling constantly.

For the past 2 years, I have been nothing if not a huge ball of stress. I was forced to quit a job which I really kinda liked, sequestered myself for three months to prepare for the MCAT, didn't do as well as I had wanted to (although I did well enough to get into 4 schools), discovered I had 3 pre-cancerous growths on my thyroid and a return of my epilepsy just as I was beginning the year-long process of med school applications, interviews, (ditto for the 2 new jobs I had during that time), and then acceptance and moving across the country alone. No wonder I was out of my freakin mind mentally and emotionally.

So, this past week and a half was the first time in a long time I could just kick back knowing everything was finally alright.

The rides brought out the kid in me -- except for the Orange Spider of Death machine (not it's real name, but close enough) that my sis and I went on that literally almost gave me a heart attack. My hands were shaking so bad from the adrenaline rush it was eerie. Prior to that, we went on the Ghost Rider roller coaster, which also scared the shit out of me. My 39-year old heart was beating like a bastard.

After 8 hours in the park, I am home and wiped out. Tomorrow I am off to UCLA for a residency fair with some friends to explore residency programs, and then tomorrow night is a slow intro back to group study to prepare for the week ahead.

I'm excited, I feel great, and I so needed this... even though my heart might beg to differ.

I am starting to wind down my 10-day adventure. Its probably for the best as I am getting a little used to not studying. I plan to do that all weekend -- poolside, of course. ;)

Yesterday, we spent all afternoon hiking in Joshua Tree, which was fantastic. The first thing you notice about the desert is the deafening silence. I had never experienced anything like that before. It was very calming and ethereal. The park wasn't empy, but the few visitors that were present were few and far between, which made it even more peaceful. Then again, it is so expansive, it would be hard to notice. We did stop for a bit and watched some rock climbers ascending the huge boulder formations scattered all over the north and west ends. We also took several small hikes, including one out to an oasis, which had some huge palms and a running stream in the middle of nowhere.

Leaving the desert at night was amazing, too as I could see so many stars, it was unreal.

Today, it's yet another beach day. We are heading down to Marina del Rey first to rent some bikes (mine wont fit in the BMW) and tour along Playa del Rey and Dockweiler Beaches. Lunch will be somewhere in Hermosa Beach or Manhattan Beach. I'll be there in about an hour, so see if you can spot me!

[CAUTION: Obnoxious but well-earned gloating ahead.]

Ahhh vacation. I love it! We finally got to spend some time exploring LA this weekend. We did tourist-y things such as visiting the La Brea Tar Pits, California Science Center, and Hollywood on Friday. Yesterday, we hit Hermosa Beach for lunch and drinks (there was a huge St. Patrick's Day festival on the beach), Venice Beach and then Santa Monica for dinner and then some late-night shopping. We also spent a good deal of time over in Palos Verdes, which is where I plan to buy a home soon. And by soon I mean in the next, uh, 7-10 years.

So, I am an ambitious dreamer. It could be worse - I could be an unemployed dreamer with NO future and still think I am going to afford that someday. :) Nevertheless, I was stunned at how beautiful this area of LA county is. No wonder they call it the American Riveria. Jesus. The homes and the views were breathtaking!

Today I am going to lounge by the pool for a while until it is time to head to my professor's house to lounge around her pool. I may try to catch up with the world news and find out what I have been missing lately - but something is tell me not to bother. The most TV I've watched all year was on Friday night when I was watching some of the NCAA games to see where I stand in the pool -- I'm still on top!

Alright, there's a lounge chair with my name on it... must go.

Having decided that I dont feel like going to class tomorrow morning (I'd be one of maybe 6 people out of a class of 214), I am now officially on spring break!

Bring on the dancing naked ladies!! (Oh right - I have to wait for the Dinah Shore weekend in a few weeks for that! Oh, MJ... we've got some catching up to do...)

First stop of my vacation: Newport Beach for St. Paddy's Day with some friends. Saturday I will peel myself out of bed and go for a nice long bike ride in Playa del Rey, Hermosa Beach, etc. Then Sunday let the hot tubbing begin!

Despite a slightly elevated BP thanks to being a Type A freak (and I am not alone) ... did I mention I was having the time of my life?!?!
I love med school, I love LA, and I wouldn't trade this for the world!!!

Life is good...

I am unofficially on spring break. Technically it starts on Friday afternoon, but I mentally checked out about 48 hours ago. I still have 8 hours of neurology and 4 hours of clinical medicine to get through until I am "officially" relaxed on Friday.

I've got some fun stuff planned for my mini-vacation: I'm spending a day this weekend hanging out with my wonderful advisor at her amazing house (hot tub, pool, hot tub, good food, hot tub), then a day or two down in San Diego, a day at Disneyland, some mountain biking and hiking in Joshua Tree, beach time in Malibu, possibly a day of snowboarding, and lots of motorcycle riding and hanging out in Santa Monica/UCLA with the g/f.

I am also planning to dust off the golf clubs and hit the links for the first time in about 7 years.

I do not plan to look at one medical text until at least Thursday. :)

I need to de-stress.

Speaking of, I just got back from a long walk around Puddingstone Reservoir, which is in the beautiful Bonelli State Park - about 5 minutes from me. I recently discovered this gem (a few months ago), which has boating/sailing, a beach, horseback riding, mountain biking, tons of hiking trails, etc. Way too many med students have been self medicating these days (my self included --> caffeine, diazepam and whatever NSAIDS I can get my hands on) and I'm not too keen on ending up in the ER, or worse, dead, so I've decided to take the natural root to better health. Exercise, letting the unimportant crap go, lots of vitamins, yoga, and... diazepam when it gets really bad. :)

And with that, my yoga mat is calling.

How I feel right now...

Here is the latest edition of the email I send to friends and family every few weeks... edited for the general public.

I am taking a quick break from intensive studying to pop my head up and report back on life at med school. Things have really picked up this semester in terms of the intensity of the coursework and the amount of time I am studying.

My monastic life these days is paying off, however. I did well in first intensive science course of the semester, Intro to Disease, Immunity and Therapeutics, finishing with a B. I am really happy with that grade, as that class was quite difficult. Many students failed it, even after a curve, and have to remediate it this summer. Because we are in a new curriculum, the university is still working out the kinks with a new style of teaching (lots of self-study) and testing (longer tests, harder questions). Most of our questions are now USMLE-style questions – meaning 2nd and 3rd order questions. (You have string together several concepts to come up with the MOST CORRECT answer.) They are trying to prepare us better for the first step of the boards, which we take in a little more than a year. I can’t believe how quickly that is approaching!

I am currently smack in the middle of my neuroscience mega course (10 credits!), The Neurosensory System, and I just got my first exam results back – I did well, I am happy to report. Since neuro is my primary area of interest, it’s important to me that I do well. My next exam for this class is Monday morning.

This neurosensory course really is amazing: right now we are focusing on brain lesions (specifically to the motor cortex area) and the diseases/disorders that cause them. The course is set up so that we learn the anatomy at the same time as the pathology, including all the microbes that cause brain infections or injury, the biochemistry of the nerves/neurons, how we “think” and tell our body how to perform conscious and unconscious acts, how to give a thorough neurological exam, including how to examine a patient for specific lesions/problems, what drugs are used to treat them, etc. This week we’ve spent a lot of time talking about Parkinson’s disease, as well as what happens when you have a stroke or a tumor that affects certain parts of the brain. It’s unbelievably complex, as you can well imagine.

I also had my Osteopathic Manipulative Medicine earlier this week. This course continues to build in complexity, as we are continually tested on everything we have learned from day 1. My friends and I spent the better part of 5 days treating each other for every musculoskeletal problem imaginable. My freakin’ back is killing me! I think I was healthier before I began studying.

Some days all this learning kicks in and I realize I really am becoming a doctor! That is a really cool feeling – and fortunately, I have more and more of these days as the weeks go by, whereas in the beginning it felt like I was just fumbling through the motions.

So, yes, we are nearing the home stretch of year 1. I am currently about halfway through semester 2. I finish my MS1 on June 5 and have until August 13 as a “summer vacation.” I will be heading out to Connecticut for a week or so in June, but then I have to come back to LA because I was selected by my academic advisor to spend the summer doing research with her. It’s really interesting – she is a paleontologist, and she was one of the few paleos who worked on the famous T- Rex named Sue, which now resides at the Field Museum in Chicago. I will be working with her doing paleontology research, examining evidence of bacteria and parasites in some several hundred million year old T-Rex fossils. (A few weeks ago I got to play with a 1 BILLION year old dinosaur bone – how cool is THAT?!?) What, you may ask, does that have to do with medicine? Well, we’ll be exploring the historical pathology of diseases… and its really friggin’ cool. I love dinosaurs, so I jumped at the chance. I am also going to be a TA for the Gross Anatomy course for incoming students this summer (nod to Aubri). Which means… back to the cadaver lab! I do plan to spend a lot of time at the beach and preparing for boards, so I will only be working in the lab a few days a week. I also hope/plan to get some biotech writing assignments from my former employer, so my summer is shaping up to be busy – exactly how I like it to be!

That's all for now...

Yes! We so kicked ass on our first neuro exam!! It was one tough son of a bitch, and we came out unscathed. Woohoo!!

Phew... I can resume a normal sleep pattern now that I don't have that "oh my god i am going to throw up everywhere" feeling that I've had the past 2 days waiting for the results.

(And I wonder why my blood pressure is more than I weigh. Well. Almost. Shit, I should check that ...)

In other news... it's raining here in LA today. It rained yesterday, too. I just thought I'd share that since I don't want to come across as gloating too much about how wonderful the weather is. :) Actually, I hope it clears up! My folks are coming out for a visit this weekend, and they are desperate to get out of Connecticut and the crappy weather back east for a few days.

I'm pysched to see them... and of course to eat really well again. I'm a cheap bastard when dieting.

Finally, one last tidbit of gossip: As of today, I am officially a landlord. My house in CT is now rented and my tenants moved in today. Know what that means?

INCOME!!!!

Actually, Deb and I poured a ton of money into the place in the last 2 months, so it will be nice to make some of that back. In the past 6 months we (well, she) repainted the entire outside, got a new driveway, new carpeting in the basement and the two bedrooms, painted the two bedrooms, stained the deck, and had the place professionally cleaned. I wish I could have seen the finished product, but Deb handled much of (OK, all) that while I was here doing this doctor thing. She's the best... I'm a totally self-absorbed slacker.

And now this slacker must get back to the grind!

I mentioned that my neurosensory exam was on Monday... actually it was yesterday (Tuesday), which explains my absence from this space. And it shows you where my head is at these days.

I have to say, that was a really challenging exam. You had to think hard and reason through a lot of the questions, as nothing was straight forward. For example, we dont get questions such as: "What drug do you use for hypertension?" Oh no. We get second order questions like: "Drug X (no name given), which is used for hypertension and has XYZ side effects, interferes with epinephrine in the following manner?" Then there were the clinical case scenarios that said, "A 45 year old man is shot in the back, which partially damages his spinal cord at the level of T8 in the dorsal horn. Where on his body will he lose pain sensation? Light Touch? Proprioception?" Fortunately, it lasted only a brief 4.5 hours.

It actually was really cool, but almost all the questions had me drawing all over the exam to reason my way through them. I was so exhausted this morning I nearly slept through the alarm and almost missed my 9am neurochemistry lecture.

I did manage to go out to celebrate last night, though -- not my exam, but my baby sistah's birthay. She's an old coot. We got her (and Pete, who will be an old coot in a few weeks) Sirius Satellite Radio - a pretty slick system for her car.

Speaking of cars, a certain individual, who shall remain nameless, has been driving my precious car all around LA recently, and now it's making all kinds of squeaks and grinding noises. Not like I can afford BMW repairs, but I gotta keep it motoring for the next 3 years! So I have to run and call a local dealer and pray it won't cost me a semester's tuition to get it diagnosed. She claims that the car just doesn't like her. I duly pointed out that it was GERMAN engineering - something she should appreciate. Pah. Apparently, she and my car have issues.

Damn women drivers. :)

PS - Happy Birthday to the other Pisces in my life! Peri is old, old, old... she's almost 30. Happy Birthday, Sphincter!!!

I think 1/2 my class has the monkey pox, and I know exactly who they got it from ... and now I am coughing, damn it.

Ahem.

So, I have really good news -- but... I can't say anything yet until it's official. Damn! I hate keeping secrets!!
[HINT: it involves making $$, my summer plans, and someone really, really cool]

Well, off I go on my dinner date for V-day! This ought to be an awkward first date: I don't know her very well yet, and she is a little on the quiet side. But she is really, really smart. Matter of fact, she's all brains.

(oh give me a break already -- I can't be that clever when I am up to my ass in white and gray matter. And no, it's not because I have a rectal-cranial inversion, either. Ba-dum dum.)

(somebody stop me...)

I spent this afternoon's lunch hour listening to a talk on abortion. It's women's health week at school, and while this is not my primary interest professionally, I thought it would be good for me to have a better understanding of the issues, procedures, protocols, and new meds. It was really interesting.

I don't often talk on this topic because the subject of abortion is something that I struggled with for a long time. I was never against it wholeheartedly - let me get it out there right now. I just had the common concerns about when life began -- remnants of my Catholic school upbringing. Interestingly enough, my intense interest in stem cell research is what lead me to read up on abortion issues - the two are unfortunately linked in the minds of those opposed to both - and changed my mind about the very unscientific "life begins at conception" idea.

I am still not 100% comfortable with it as a means of birth control (obviously, too many gray areas to count), and had some serious questions about some of the new medications that are being used to abort a fetus in lieu of surgical procedures. For example, if they are made readily available (OTC), how easily will minors be able to access them? And if so, can/will counseling be provided? I really want to expand more on this, and I plan to -- as soon as I have enough information in my head to make a sound platform for my beliefs.

In the past 6 months, many of my old "stodgy, conservative" beliefs have been radically changed -- all for the better. Understand, I was never, ever judgmental toward anyone who had an abortion. Nor did I ever rally against them - quite the contrary - I have been a proponent of choice for many, many years and have marched on Washington on several occasions. Abortion clinic protesters, in my opinion, have a lot of evolving to do. My ethical concerns of late were over whether I, as a physician, could ever perform one. I still don't have the answer to that, as it's a very complex issue, but I am looking forward to educating myself, and seeing how my brain sorts this all out.

My schedule for the next 8 weeks (all this is ONE course):

Neuroscience
Neuroanatomy
Neuroanatomy Lab
Embryology of the CNS
Neurophysiology
Neuro Biochemistry
Neuro Pharmacology
Neuro Microbiology
Neuro Histology

Along with:
ECM II
OMM II
Service Learning II

and, the first paragraph in my Neuro course syllabus states: In this system you will be introduced to the concepts of how the central nervous system functions in health and disease, and how to give a neurological exam, along with its interpretation. IT IS A DAUNTING TASK, GREATLY ECLIPSING EVEN THE DREADED GROSS ANATOMY COURSE IN DIFFICULTY.... (words words words... blah blah blah)"

Those are the exact words... I had a brief tachycardia after reading that, and didn't really finish the rest of the syllabus yet.

So ... I'm just saying that things may be a little quiet around here until April.

Really, I am looking forward to this since neuroscience is the area I hope to do research in, and more specifically, my interest in it is the underlying reason as to why I am here torturing myself.

God, I love it! (I know, I oughta have my head examined. In 8 weeks, I'll be able to do just that. I think.)

In case there was any confusion on my part over the past 6 months, I need to just say that now I finally understand what they (other doctors) mean when they say "Medical school is like drinking through a firehose."

Dear god.

My head literally might explode off my neck. I have been studying 8-10 hrs a day the past 2 weeks (this does NOT include lecture time) and since Wednesday, it has been ramped up to 12-15 hours a day -- all for one goddamn test on Monday.

Stupid rites of passage...

Forget the books and just give me the friggin scalpel already. I'll figure out what *it* is once I cut it out.

We had a major weather event here in California today. Apparently there was a cloud this morning. It caused all kinds of disturbances. I'm just now getting ready to go outside, since it has since left the area. Thank god.

OK, so I'm feeling a little obnoxious right now, and because I got a few calls from friends and family back home boasting how it was 50+ degrees back east I want to make it a special point to say:

HA! It's 75 here and I am going to the beach right now to study!!! So there!!! :-P

I was actually thinking about heading back to CT for spring break (i.e the Mud Season), but then I took my meds and realized it was not one of my better ideas. What is better is that I have some peeps coming here to visit instead! And, I'll be heading back to Vegas that week, too, to lose some more money!! Wheeee!

(Seriously, I miss you all, too!!)

Once again, I am swamped and behind, and I *just* finished a major exam on Monday. The intensity only builds from here on out. Yay.

Right now, I am elbow-deep in Pharmacology -- learning which antibiotics to prescribe, which to avoid, and what microorganism causes what disease. It's all fascinating -- and terribly time consuming!

The other classes I am taking include Microbiology, Pathology, Immunology, OMT, Essentials of Clinical Medicine II, and Service Learning -- and of course I have no less than 12,000 pages in each class to read this week. There's also the clinic I am going to be "working" at in the coming weeks, and somewhere in there I am supposed to be sleeping.

So... needless to say, I have been remiss in updating my site. And, since in the past few days I have been pressed heavily to provide some titillating and amusing tales from the frontline, I decided to take 5 and put forth one quick anecdote.

Two weeks ago, while sitting in one of our first Pharmacology lectures, I damn near came close to getting tossed out of the classroom, as did my comrades Peri and Eric. As we were straining to understand the new material being presented to us in a rapid-fire format from a Chinese professor with a heavy accecnt, Peri leaned over to me and asked, in a serious, yet hushed tone: "Did he just say... butt weasels?"

Relieved that I wasn't crazy, or as deaf as I thought, I answered that I believed he did. Perplexed, we continued to listen.

It was about 15 minutes later when Peri finally caught on and informed me that he was not, in fact, referring to a rodent-infested rectal disease but blood vessels.

Thus, the giggling commenced, and only got worse when, after a squeak escaped my throat, Peri tried to stifle a laugh and ended up snorting. Loudly. All hell broke loose after that, and I ended up having to hide behind my laptop screen while she damn near crawled under the desk.

Not more than 5 minutes after we regained our composure, he confused us further when he referred to "dwug excweesion from the kitty is vewy comicated."

Indeed. My kittys couldn't take much more, and I had to excuse myself and run to the bathroom before I lost complete bladder control.

Before I delve into the world of bacteria, cellular inflammation, and immunology for the evening, I just had to take a much-needed mental health break. After a week and a half of it sitting in my car port with a half-dead battery, I was finally able to take my motorcycle out for its virgin ride in California.

It was well worth the wait!

I could not let another stunning California afternoon go by as I sat staring at my heaps of medical books. Did I mention it was in the 70s and sunny this afternoon?? Well, ok, every afternoon?? In January???

I got to ride my motorcycle in the middle of winter -- OH HELL YES! It made my whole day. I cruised all along the base of the mountains, and was thoroughly rejuvenated as I flew past the palm trees, with the cool breeze enhancing my senses instead of my afternoon Starbucks fix. (I'm still going for one shortly. Afterall, I am an addict.) Tomorrow I get to take it to school for some show & tell.

My weekend is looking great, too. Tomorrow night I will be dining at the home of my professor/med school advisor, and taking part in my first hot-tubbing soiree, Cali style. Sweeeeeet.

On Saturday I am off to Las Vegas with some friends/colleagues for an AMA convention. I'm planning to become more involved in health care policy, and I am looking forward to networking with some influential docs. (I actually started last week at a regional LACMA conference in downtown LA, where I had dinner and drinks with the president of the CMA.)

This will, actually, be my first trip to Las Vegas -- and I am really looking forward to it. Medical/political networking aside, I'm also looking forward to spending what little cash and time I have enjoying myself in Sin City. I already pulled out my rolls of quarters for the shiny slots, my stack of $1 and $5 bills for the poker tables and dancing ladies, and a clean pair of underwear. I am so ready for the debauchery fun to begin.

When am I planning to study, you ask?

Now! Gotta run!

We had our very last class today (a lecture on stem cell research - how fitting for me), thus ending my first semester of medical school. I wish I had the energy to write something more interesting and anecdotal about what the past 5 months have been like, but I have a final exam on Friday morning, and still have a bit of studying to do tonight.

I'll try to post something long, deep and meaningful (ha) over the weekend, but I will be heading back to Connecticut on Saturday for a very busy week packing, visiting, eating, drinking, hitting a handful of holiday parties, etc., and then making the long drive cross country, back home to LA. Methinks I won't have too much time to blog, but I will try to post some pics from my journey if nothing else.

Over and out... for now.

Not Why Me... but, Only Me.

So, I had a crappy day today... that actually ended really well in an ironic yet funny way. It was actually a carry-over from a crappy day yesterday, precipitated by a shitty week last week. Most of today in school it was all I could do to hold back the tears, and it was exceptionally difficult to stay focused and locked in to my studies. Some personal issues, compounded by getting really bad health-related news this week about someone close to me really fucked up my day. I was trying to take it all in stride, making a feeble attempt at the whole California laid back thing, but I am a New Yorker with ADD/ADHD and it's chemically/physically/cosmically impossible for me to be anything but Type A and sensitive.

As such, my good friend Peri took it upon herself to make sure I didn't walk off any rooftops and, once again, babysat for my sorry ass. After class, she took me for coffee, then dragged me to a review session for my biochemistry exam, and then was about to take me for coffee again before I went home to study some more when I decided to pop in and say hello to my advisor. We spent some time with her in her lab, which is unbelievably impressive and very cool. She's doing some fascinating work in paleontology and anthropology and has billion-year-old fossils in her office! (I can't even pretend to have an ounce of knowledge in her area of expertise or, for that matter, sound intelligent on this topic -- she has probably "forgotten" more biology than I will ever learn!) We then all went out for drinks to the local campus pub ... and that's where things got interesting.

As we were sitting around the table discussing life, growing up in the 70s and 80s, music, etc., 2 women wearing ... well, very little more than a thong and a bra approached the table. Being the self-conscious lesbian that I am, I was doing my damnedest to pretend to not notice and remain professional (i.e. not jerk my head around 180 degrees like a jackass), until one of them "accidentally" brushed up against Peri's rear-end, thereby getting our attention. Of course, as it turns out, they were selling raffle tickets for some charity or another and the prizes were ... sex toys.

Naturally.

Being the good sports we are, we all bought a bunch of tickets, and several minutes later my professor had to take off and pick up her son at day care. As she was leaving, she jokingly left her tickets behind on the table for us to check for her in case she won.

Well, she did.

And now I am carrying around her winnings ... which, are, uh, not something I am comfortable carrying on to campus and handing over to someone of such high esteem and importance. (Dr. R., I know you are probably reading this, so I am not going to publicize it ... let's just say we'll drop off your prize sometime next week, provided security doesn't stop me at the door. And, no I am not sucking up.)

::sigh::

Sometimes I think the only reason I was accepted into medical school was so I could have more fodder for my writing.

OK, I don't do this very often, but right now I am going to swallow my pride, admit my weakness and ... ask for help.

Next week I am having a very important lunch (shut up, Peri --> there you happy? I mentioned you AGAIN) with my med school advisor, and I am going for Vietnamese food. Generally I don't consider myself a cultural idiot, however, I have never had Vietnamese food, and I don't want to look like a dolt when I order, so... anyone out there familiar with it? What's good? What's bad? What should I avoid at all costs so I am not, well, uh, indisposed for the rest of the day?

It's important that I make a good impression because this woman is helping me carve out my future. (Pretty pathetic that I am asking the general public for help, I know, but I am also in the middle of exams and I don't have much time to research Vietnamese delicacies.) (No, Robyn, I will not call Rebecca and ask for scorpion recipes!)

So ... any ideas????

Is that everyone wants to take care of me! Yay! It's funny that I can tell we are still a group of first year medical students because no one is jaded yet, and everyone wants to help. (I am sure by the end of the third year, we'll all be telling each other to suck it up.) Fortunately, I have some amazing friends here who really made me feel a hell of a lot better.

Wayne made me a vat of homemade chicken soup, which I must say was the BEST chicken soup I have ever tasted. Thanks, Wayne!! You're the best!

Peri babysat and tutored me all afternoon while we prepared for exams today and tomorrow, and listened to me whine, bitch and moan about my imminent death.

Eric offered to break his foot off in my ass if I didn't come to school, which prompted me to get up, shower, shave, dress and get my non-man ass to the university for the afternoon. He also baby sat for my whiny ass, and quizzed/prepped me before my exam.

Arriel offered to give me some lymphatic therapy to get my body to process this virus faster. He's a brave man...

You guys rock!

On a side note, I think I may be a bit feverish and hallucinating. I just walked into the bathroom to get a tissue, and AJ was in there using her litter box and I, without even thinking, said "oh, excuse me, I'm sorry," and walked out.

Ahem.

Thank god no one was around to witness that small bout of insanity...

Not one to sit still for a minute, on my first "free" weekend here in Cali, instead of lounging at the beach (it's 80 and sunny today!), I spent the morning working on a blitz build for Habitat for Humanity in Claremont, CA with my buddy Eric and his wife Nicole. It was great! I got to help put up a roof on a new home, which meant standing a few stories up on scaffolding, AND I got to use tools and wear a hardhat.

I rock. I wish I could have spent more time there helping out, but I do have some exams this week and I need to continue to prepare. Perhaps I will venture back there again to help some more when things lighten up at school.

We are in the homestretch for this semester: I finish 2 classes this week, and then my last class ends in 4 more weeks. One last push and then I am home for the holidays!

Last night, while I was toiling away at learning the intricacies of the muscles, vasculature, and innervation of the eye, I received a phone call from Deb, who was out happily dancing the night away at a friend of our's 40th birthday bash. (Happy Birthday, Chiz!!) Talk about a polar-opposite evening. While I was spending Saturday night hanging out with my mom and studying, the soiree of the year was happening 3,000 miles away, and I was missing it, and sitting here feeling sorry for myself like a pouty little baby. So unlike me, too.

The party was more than a birthday bash -- my friends back home were also celebrating the civil union of two friends, C&M, who after 20 years of being together, are finally legally recognized as a couple. (Congrats ladies!!!) While the birthday party wasn't a surprise to me (it WAS a surprise to the old coot - sorry, Chiz, I know you and I have an "understanding" but that only applies to basketball and football ;)), the news of their civil union was, in fact, a pleasant surprise. I have to say, I am so excited for them -- and for two other very close friends, H&N, who also tied the knot last week.

As I spoke with Deb on the phone, she told me that even though the party had been raging all afternoon at the restaurant, there was an after-party rage planned for later that night at M & N's palatial estate a few towns away. And rage on it did, without me ... but only briefly. About 2 hours later, my cell rang again, and this time I got to speak with the whole crew. Wow -- it was so amazing to hear my friends' voices again. In about 75 minutes, I must have heard 400 "We love and miss you, we're so proud of you, please come home" sentiments ... which, I will admit, made me very sentimental and homesick.

So, I am, at Nina's request -- heading home. ;)(Yes, with about 25 tshirts, sweatshirts and hats sporting my school's name ... I only hope I can fit it all in my dinky suitcase.) I am going for a visit on Halloween weekend, which will be my first official "social" visit back east. (I was home on Labor Day weekend for a death in the family, and only saw a few friends very briefly.)

This time, I plan on making the social rounds, and yes Chiz, giving full on well-woman exams and physicals to everyone who requested one, and yes, I have plenty of extra latex gloves. That does NOT mean you are entitled to the full cavity search you asked for... cheez... you're married all of 24 hours!! (Something tells me that you probably don't remember much of the conversation we had ... heh heh.)

So, yes.. I am feeling homesick. As much as I couldn't wait to get to Cali, and trust me, I am absolutely in love with it here, I miss everyone back home very dearly. I knew I would. I still don't miss the weather (especially what's been happening there the past week). And no, I don't miss the changing seasons -- we have 4 seasons here in Cali too (right Aubri?!?). For example, it is noticeably cooler here these days - 75 I think - and I believe I saw a leaf fall off a branch earlier in the week. Actually, while driving home from Long Beach today, I noticed that the San Gabriel Mountains actually had snow caps!! It was very cool to see - the mountains look spectacular. The first snowfall of the year here in SoCal. It's also raining today, which is probably because I washed my damn car yesterday.

Well, I've done enough procrastinating and must get back to my next favorite time-wasting activity: cat torture.

Over and out.

This doctoring stuff is really getting interesting. Yesterday we learned how to do phlebotomy, urinanalysis, blood/glucose testing, breathing treatments, how to take vital signs and administer EKGs.

So, now all my medically delinquent friends can breathe easy knowing that I now have the foundation to give them a complete physical exam.

Heh.

Speaking of exams, my Gross Anatomy final exam is on Monday, so I'll be offline most of the weekend. I'm sure I'll be back on Tuesday night with an update, pics, etc. of the final days of GA Hell... which was actually made much more pleasant than expected by an excellent GA professor. :)

Tuition - $35,000.00
Medical textbooks - $1600
Sharp, shiny instruments -- $700.00.
Palpating your classmate's butt cheek dimples in Starbucks - Priceless!

... make med school fun!

(DWW, you WILL be getting your collective asses in gear for next week's Hash run. Leave the Glocks and the 9mm's at home, though.)

So, yes, tonight I was "inducted" into the local chapter of the Hash House Harriers. Not the secret society I was referring to above, but a fun, social society nevertheless. Actually, it was a freakin' blast!!! Admittedly, I had to walk the 5 miles with my bud, Arriel, but we're working on building me up to running form again, since my blown out achilles is finally healing. For those of you who don't know what HHH is all about, Google it. I don't have time to explain (sorry!!) the long story, but I will say it's a great way to bond with my fellow students, with or without the alcohol.

Speaking of bonding with classmates, yesterday afternoon a bunch of us headed to Anaheim to watch the Angels - Tigers game. It was cool to get out from behind the books for a day. It wasn't a Yankee game, but, hey, it was baseball, and that made me happy.

Today we had our OPP mid-term - scored my requisite A, so I was quite pleased and took most of this afternoon off and installed my Sirius radio in a non-half-assed way. (Thanks, A!) Tomorrow it's back to the same ol' carving station routine...

Rather than explaining what we did in Gross Anatomy lab this morning, I've provided a link to web site that shows precisely how I spent my morning.

(There's no better way to bond with your classmates than by sharing in the time-honored tradition of washing the feces out of an impacted colon ... on a hemisected pelvis/leg.)

For those of you who have a morbid/scientific curiosity on what GA labs are like, start here and work your way through.

Med school keeps me busy - let's just get that out there right now. I barely have time to vacuum my immaculately spotless rug (spotless because I am barely in my apartment long enough to step on it) because every waking minute is about gross anatomy. Our 2nd exam is tomorrow, and I look forward to getting through it. I have spent 30 of the past 48 hours studying, so I am feeling a little punchy... and too tired to really be creative -- so, I am once again augmenting for this space the semi-monthly email update I send to family and friends on my progress thus far. Enjoy.

Things are going well – I did fine on my first exam 2 weeks ago, and have another this coming Monday. It covers the thorax and abdomen, and all their constituent parts (heart, lungs, stomach, etc.). Last Friday I got to cut the heart out of my cadaver – that was a cool experience. We also had some interesting findings while exploring his abdomen -- let’s just say this guy hadn’t been “regular” for a LONG time. Even the pathologist said he had never seen an impacted sigmoid colon that big before. My lab partners and I were very cautious to keep all shiny, sharp objects at a safe distance.

Last week I also had my first OSCE exam, which is an assessment of how well I interview patients and take their medical history. For my 3 practice sessions leading up to this, I received excellent feedback from the standardized patients we work with, so I was not at all worried. The SPs are actors, and when we interview them, they can take on any role from hostile (and I mean hostile!) patient to someone who is upset/scared/withdrawn. Fortunately, I spent 15 yrs as a journalist, so interviewing people is a no-brainer. However, it’s an entirely different experience – and definitely challenging -- trying to coax very personal info out of someone while simultaneously being compassionate, especially when you’re nervous and being videotaped by your profs. All in all, it went very well.

I do enjoy that class -- I am discovering all those things that my docs (and me!) have been doing right and wrong over the years, and also learning to become a better listener. Hopefully, that will carry over to my personal life.

Speaking of personal life, or the lack thereof, I have finally gotten tired of eating Quiznos subs, cereal, etc. (but hey, so far I have lost 7lbs!) so last week I went out and bought a steak, chicken breasts, and potatoes – I am going to make an attempt to cook them this week, and avoid ordering take-out or doing the frozen pizza thing again. For those of you who know me well enough, that will be almost as challenging as med school itself.

Well, that's it for now. Back to the intricacies of the biliary tree and the Sphincter of Oddi. Speaking of... I'd like to give a shout out to Peri ... Yes, you, Periwinkle Blue. You can thank me for the public acknowledgement of your existence with the purchase of a beverage after the exam manana -- but please, not the caffeine enema.

And to Michael, Eric, Wendy, Peri and Arriel -- remember, it's all about TBPPS.

Watching the news about the devastation in New Orleans has been absolutely heartbreaking. I can't imagine what it is like to experience the loss of such magnitude -- the loss of life, of family, friends, and what you once called home. I imagine the heartache is unbearable.

A close friend of my family has a son who is an ER doc in Gulfport, Mississippi, and he had a waterfront condo in New Orleans. It's gone now. And, he's been stranded at a hospital and has been the only doc in the ER for 3 days. I'm amazed at his strength to continue to serve others knowing he has lost so much... I can only hope he gets some relief soon.

Humanity, and my new perspective on it, has been a running theme the past few weeks. During the first week of gross anatomy, it was a strange yet wonderful feeling for me when I finally cut into a cadaver and began this process of learning to heal. I got through the first few days telling myself the bodies weren't real, that they were just learning tools... until I helped a few other students turn a woman's body over onto it's belly, and noticed a Band-Aid still stuck on the back of her arm. It got to me in a very unsettling way. And then, as the days went on, I began to notice the tattoos, the scars, the pacemaker... all harsh reminders that these "tools" were in fact individuals. Someone who up until the very end was trying to live and take care of herself. It's not that I didn't know this -- it was just easier to get accustomed to sticking my hand into someone's musculature if I told myself at first it wasn't real.

It's very real now.

I no longer have a problem with acknowledging the humanity, so to speak. It's still hard to look at the body of a 39 yr old who died prematurely. But now I am in awe at the bravery that person exhibited by facing death head on and having the courage to donate their body to science so that I, and my peers, could learn from them.

I wish I could be in New Orleans doing all I can right now -- it's frustrating, and makes me chomp at the scholastic bit even harder, knowing that I need to work as hard as I can so that when my time comes, I am ready to work those 3+ days without sleep, knowing I too may have nothing to go home to.

I've just returned from celebrating the completion of my first medical school exam with 100+ classmates in the local campus pub -- yeeha!! -- and I have to say it's a great feeling. Surviving it, that is. It was a 2-part exam in gross anatomy: a 2-hour written portion, which I think I passed just fine, and a practical exam, which entailed identifying nerves, arteries, muscles, bones, tendons, etc. of the neck and back region on 25+ cadavers that have been decomposing and drying out over the past 2 weeks. I don't really know how well I did on the practical - I assume I did as well as I could have, but I won't know for a few days. Most of the people I spoke with feel uncertain about it - they can't really tell how well they did. It was really tough. But the bottom line is to create intelligent doctors - not make it easy. So, I am pleased to have made it through it alive.

I spent a god-awful amount of time studying the past 2 weeks - I averaged about 4.5 hours a night after a 9-5 day of classes, and then put in 15 hours on Saturday and 12 yesterday (Sunday), and 4 more this morning. And that was for ONE test. Good lord. I have to say, medical school is as tough as I anticipated. Thankfully I expected long hours.

All the stress has thrown off my biorythmns -- I try to go to bed at midnight and inevitably can't sleep and end up flipping though my flashcards until 1.30am. I then wake up at 8am all jittery and full of nervous energy.

I've become accustomed to drinking coffee all afternoon instead of my usual 3-4 binge. I've also lost weight since eating has become an afterthought -- I usually remember to eat at lunch, but dinner is more of a study break than a meal.

Despite the intense nature of the whole experience, the bottom line is I am having fun -- an amazing time -- even though this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. Fortunately, I've met some amazing people and made some great friends who have kept me sane the past few weeks.

And now I am tired, drained, and want to watch what's been happening in New Orleans -- one of my favorite places in the country. And tomorrow's another full day... We begin dissecting the thorax!

This weekend I'm off to Malibu to chill on the beach again with friends and family. The wife is coming out to visit me -- it's been almost a month since I have seen her. We have lots of catching up to do.

I have so much to say and so little time to say it. I can't believe how cool medical school is, and how much I am enjoying it. For the first time, I atually feel like I belong. Like I was meant to be here, and not some imposter pretending to be an expert. I did enjoy my career as a journalist, but I have to admit I was never this enthusiastic about it. In any event, I want to share what my first few days have been like, and in the essence of saving time, I am editing an email I sent last night to family anf friends to a blog-appropriate format.

So far, all is well here in sunny LA. I'm sure some of you have been filled in on the apartment (it's great) and my car situation (it sucks!) ... but I am surviving - even if it's on cereal, bagels and pasta.

Med school so far is way cool, and the entire university administration is very helpful, warm and engaging, and will to do just about anything for the students.

The students are awesome, too -- and I'm not even close to being the oldest. The average age, I was told, is 30. Oddly enough, I seem to have bonded with some military folks -- go figure. There are three of them I have been hanging with and formed a study group with. They are currently trying to convince me to join the Military Club here at school. These days, the only way I would follow our Commander in Chief onto a battlefield would be, of course, if he wooed me with the promise of donuts and coffee. But I digress.

A small secret most of you don't know -- I was oh-so-close to signing away 4 yrs of my life to the Coast Guard Academy 16 yrs ago when SOMEONE convinced me otherwise. ;) This was after I was rejected by the Air Force ROTC at UConn for my bum knee and pre- my intense fear of flying. Despite my strong left-wing leanings, I do come from a military family, don't forget, and have deep respect for that commitment to service (no, I am not in favor of the war!). More so after seeing the excellent care my grandfather received at the VA hospital for 10 yrs.

Classes so far have been excellent -- we are learning about medical ethics, ethical reasoning, and professionalism. Tomorrow we begin to learn how to take patient histories and give physical exams (I have some very cool and expensive medical equipment I need to learn to use, so prepare to become a guinea pig if you should come for a visit). The hard science stuff begins this Friday -- we get our own cadavers and a "bone box" for gross anatomy. Enmeshed with that will be biochemistry, histology, microbiology and pathology. Cooooooool.....

Needless to say, there have been lots of student parties and trips to the beach this week before things get really crazy - being the old coot that I am, I have opted out of the partying, but plan to hit Malibu beach this weekend and attempt to surf... or enviously watch the surfers while making up valid excuses as to why I should NOT attempt it my first few weeks of school. I did spend 2 hours this afternoon with a personal trainer at the gym, and he kicked my gluteus maximus -- hard. He is a dead ringer for Leonardo DiCaprio. So, more often than not I wanted to smack him upside his Hollywood wannabe head. I seriously thought I was going to die -- but the school mandates we stay, or in my case GET, into good physical shape, pronto, so as to not be hypocrites after taking the Hippocratic oath. So I pressed on. (The school has a HEAVY military influence, which my father thinks is just what I need. Ahem. Apparently my emotional scarring from plaid Catholic school uniforms and ill-fitting saddle shoes didn't do enough damage.) Speaking of, next week I will be studying and possibly even working out with two of my new buds, an Air Force dude who claims to have jumped out of planes all over Europe, and a Navy seaman, who has been around the world on a ship twice and managed to not get a single tattoo. They are both amazing guys.

As such, I fully expect to drop dead from an MI after 15 minutes in the gym with them.

Hoo-rah!

I. Have. Chills.

This is by far the most unbelievable experience of my life.

The 4th weekend was a blast - lots of fun with family and friends, both new and old. I spent a good deal of it lounging in the pool and on my deck until the wee hours, and at the beach, chilling out & watching fireworks. I did spend some of the time packing, but not nearly as much as I should.

Technically, this is my last week of work. I have a few articles to finish writing and one project to tidy up, and then I will have the last 3 weeks here to get my life in order. For example, I am still trying to make arrangements to have my car (and a few friends) shipped to California. Ugh. I hope they don't mind being stow-aways in my backseat. So, with that, posts will be sparse for the next week, but then I am sure I will need an outlet to vent my anxiety.

Alright, off to work I go.

Aie. It seems I answer these questions several times a day, so with that:

July 30 will be my last day in CT
August 8 is when classes start
Yes, I am scared to death
I'll be back "home" for 1-2 weeks at Christmas
Yes, the wife is coming; when is still being discussed, but most likely sooner than later
The dog is staying with my parents until we find a place to live that allows dogs
AJ is coming with me; Elmo is staying with the wife
Timeframe: 2 years of coursework; 2 years of clinical rotation; 4-6 years of residency
Neurosurgery/neurology/orthopedics surgery/general surgery
I'll be in debt $250,000
No, I'm not doing it for the money. Duh.
No, I am not planning on coming back east after residency
Or ever
Unless NYU wants to pay me a LOT of money
Of course my parents are very UPSET -- they are planning on moving to LA
Yes, extensive therapy is covered by my insurance
Yes, I am going to miss everyone very much
Yes, I want you all to visit me often
No, not all at the same time
No, you can't stay for weeks on end
Yes, I realize I am going to be very busy, but you can still come and buy me dinner
Yes, I am planning on learning how to surf
Yes, I am planning to maintain this web site
No, there won't be any pics from my gross anatomy class
Anything else? email me: la at headrush dot com

Last night I learned I got the med school acceptance I was hoping for -- in Southern California!!! Just outside LA, to be exact.

Truth be told, I am a tiny bit torn between the 2 schools I've been accepted to. Both are in Cali: 1 in San Francisco and the other in LA. I want to do my residency in LA -- at UCLA, to be exact. And this 2nd school has matched quite a few students to UCLA for residencies. It's also reasonably close to the UCLA campus. So, I am 95% sure I will be going here. But I love San Francisco, too!

In other related news: I was out celebrating my dad's birthday at my favorite restaurant, and I discovered another reason why I love this place: the owner, who knows me by name and face well enough, tonight told me she thought I was only 25!! She was really bummed out to find out I was leaving for med school, and she asked me if I just finished undergrad!!! Now, I know I don't look my age, but 13 years younger is pushing it just a little.

Hell, I won't complain. I need to blend in with those LA cool kids in 8 weeks -- I guess that means I need to go blonde again, and learn to surf ... Dude. (I ... am so fucked.)

The amount of stuff I need to do before I leave here in July is almost too overwhelming to think about. But, I am taking lots of deep breaths and pushing forward. Despite learning that I would need to take out a $250k loan to get me through the next 4 years, I am still thrilled to be this fortunate. I am definitely sensing a much-needed calmness has come over me. The anxiety of "will I or won't I get in" is gone. But not forgotten. Every morning I wake up, sip my coffee and remember all over again - it's a great feeling.

I am now counting in weeks instead of months when I will be leaving. I don't think I will add a counter to the site, though. Even though West coast living and going to med school are my two biggest dreams, I am having a hard time just thinking about saying goodbye.

The current plan is to leave Connecticut on July 25 -- classes begin first week of August and I will be making the trek cross country via car. Until that day comes, I still need to finish the biochemistry class that I am taking (and will have to retake as a medical student weeks after finsihing it), find a place to live in the Bay Area, get several loans, possibly find a renter for my house, and then pack. (Sadly, I think learning how to cook is an out-of-reach goal. It will have to get put into my 5-yr plan, right behind French fluency and a black belt in something.)

Ugh.

So, I distract myself my checking out all the cool books and medical supplies I have to buy for the first day of school -- a bit more than the compass and protractor I had to get in high school. Stethoscope, sphygmamometer (blood pressure cuff), scrubs!!, latex gloves in mass quantities, microscope, and all kinds of shiny objects.

I also find myself watching shows like House, ER, and Grey's Anatomy with a renewed interest - and from a different perspective. I guess I am mentally preparing for the abuse that will soon be a regular part of my life.

The only thing I am not prepared for is the sleep deprivation. I am planning to do a lot of that in the next few weeks, along with enjoying my last moments of freedom as much as humanly possible.

I figured I'd get around to the big announcement sooner or later, and I guess it was later ...

Yes, I have been accepted to medical school -- in California!!! Getting that acceptance was the oddest emotional experience of my life. I first burst into tears, then called the wife and baby sistah, who were enjoying a bike ride along Playa del Rey beach. I'm sure their screaming alarmed quite a few sunbathers. I then called my dad, who got choked up and promised to tell my mother, who was sadly, at the dentist. Next was my best bud, Robyn -- instead of our usual text messaging, I resorted to calling her at work because I couldn't type on the tiny Treo keypad because I was shaking. After that I kind of went numb from the shock. But it is still an amazing feeling -- even today.

Although this is what I have been preparing for/talking about over the past 6 years, leaving here was still an emotionally difficult decision to make. While I am thrilled beyond belief to be a doctor, and excited about my future and doing something I have dreamed about my entire life, I will be leaving behind many important people -- family and friends -- my pets, my home and a job I really love. And literally starting over.

I have to say, getting into medical school has truly been a group effort. There is no way on earth I would have been able to do this on my own. In a way, I feel like my role was the easiest: sit in a room and read about things that interest me for hours on end, fill in tiny bubbles, and fall asleep with my head on my desk while friends and family pitched in their blood, sweat and tears by emotionally and spiritually (hey, maybe those votive candles work - what do I know!) helping me (sometimes literally even steering me) down this path.

I am eternally grateful for all the cards, emails, words of encouragement, sanity checks, hugs, pats on the back, cups of coffee, bitch-and-moan sessions where I was the sole bitcher and moaner, and outright love and support that have been given to me over the past 6 years, especially the last 2 which were the most difficult and trying.

Just saying thank you will never be enough. The following people have made my seemingly impossible dream a reality, and I owe my success to all of you.

Deb: I don't don't know where to even begin -- thank you for everything. My medical degree will be as much your's as mine. Your sacrifices for me over the past 6 years have gone above and beyond what a spouse should make, your love and encouragement got me through the most difficult of times, and I can only hope I make you as proud of me as I am of you. (That, and a rich, martini-by-the-pool-drinking wife of a doctor soon!) I love you.

Mom & Dad: for the genes, constant encouragement, love and support, not letting me go to UCLA and thus making me a bitter-yet-determined woman hell bent on getting my butt across the country, and never telling me it was a bad idea.

Karen & Pete: for the love, support, advice, humor, horoscopes, In n'Out burgers, airport pick-ups, the use of your couch (several times) and making me understand it really was all about the journey. I can't wait to be near you two again!! 2-family duplex... 2-fmaily duplex...

Robyn: I am sure your ears are beyond numb, and your brain is oversaturated with more knowledge of the whole med school application process than you signed up for. But your friendship, constant encouragement, words of wisdom, sense of humor, loyalty and advice mean more to me than you will ever know. Your courage and determination (despite your insistence on perfecting the art of mediocrity!) have been an inspiration to me - and for that I thank you.

Jack and Miki: For the gazillion sanity-restoring trips to the Cape, the best pizza on the planet, for being the older siblings I never had, and for showing me how to "get it" and enjoy life the right way. For the laughs, the trips, the tears, and for sharing your family, which I happily and proudly consider my own.

Heather, Nanette, and Chrissy: For never, ever, telling me this was a bad idea, defending me to the doubters and the mold spores, for the coffee, wine, and for keeping me well fed, smiling and out of trouble.

The rest of the cast and crew deserve much more than a mention, but I only have 12 more weeks until I begin school and this can take all night! With that - the credits (not in order of appearance):

My family
Cody, AJ, Elmo: for the 4am puking the night before my exams, stepping on the alarm clock and changing the time so I overslept, stealing the blankets ... and keeping me company throughout the whole damn process. It's going to kill me to leave them behind temporarily -- even Elmo, the bald bastard that he is.
Keith, my advisor
Frank, my mentor
Nancy M, for making me realize I'm not the one who is crazy - it's you!
Danielle, for the giant hugs, cigars, and showing me what it means to be brave
Maryanne & Chiz, for 50 years of combined friendship and encouragement
Candace, for keeping quiet about everything ;) and your cousin in line
Aubri, a big thank you for all your help
Eric, for making me see the humor in it all over the years
And to everyone else who has been there - thank you!

I got my first med school acceptance moments ago!! I have 2 more interviews forthcoming, and still waiting to hear from a handful of other schools.

This school isn't my first choice (more like 2nd or 3rd) but I was blown away by the campus and the facilities.

It still really hasn't sunk in yet. I don't think it will for a while...

Good things from the past 7 days:

• Made it through 1st MS interview alive.
  
• They liked me.
  
• I liked them.
  
• The gross anatomy lab wasn't as bad as I feared. It was actually very impressive. The cadavers didn't smell too badly and the buckets of body parts floating in formaldehyde below the tables really had no effect on me. (Yes, that's a good thing, and no, not because I have Hannibal Lecter issues.)
  
• I made all my deadlines for work.
  
• My latest shipment of HBA from Sephora arrived. I can now resume the daily shampooing-conditioning-shaving-lubing ritual I've grown accustomed to.
  
• I am going to have Colony pizza this week and no one can stop me.
  
• My Family Guy seasons 1 & 2 DVDs arrived.
  
• I saw an old friend I hadn't seen in years who was back "home" visiting from California -- we had a great time!
  
• I went to my folks' St. Paddy's Day party and had a great time. The older I get, the "cooler" their friends seem. I had the chance to re-meet many of them as an adult at my sister's wedding last summer, and it turns out I get along with a few of them quite well -- well enough that now they are asking me to go 'hang' with them this weekend.
  
• My BMW kicked ASS in the 47-foot snow drifts I had to plow through! I shall never own another type of vehicle. Ever.
  
• I have some cool trips coming up, including Cape Cod, DC, San Francisco, LA, and possibly Chicago, Phoenix and Paris. All before June.
  
• The L Word was actually worth watching this week.
  

Evil things from the past 7 days:

• There is someplace else that actually gets more snow than southern Connecticut.
  
• I may go to med school there.
  
• I may not.
  
• It's time to have my thyroid growths checked, which means more bloodwork and another ultrasound. Fuck.
  
• I am moderately concerned about it.
  
• Pepe's pizza in New Haven is nowhere near as good as Colony pizza in Stamford. There is NO comparison. I don't care what those damn Yalies think. They're not so smart, anyway.
  
• Lactaid should be a topping choice for pizza.
  
• I thought I left my pancreas at Pink's hot dog stand in LA. Turns out, I was wrong. I found it again this weekend.
  
• It's probably now floating in a bucket of formaldehyde at Yale med school.
  
• I am 3 weeks behind in my medical biochem class. I am starting to panic. I have 2 months to catch up, and although it seems like plenty of time, it really isn't when many of my weekends between now and when I am due to finish are already booked. (see above)
  
• I have to fly for the 10th time in 6 months in a few weeks.
  
• I hate flying.
  
• I have been craving a cigarette for 3 days, and no, it's not a post-coital craving. It's my fucking nerves.
  
  Posted by LA at 10:18 PM

Or light a votive candle, pray, chant, or raise a glass -- whatever it is you do to wish someone good luck, I NEED IT NOW.

I have a couple of med school interviews lined up in the very near future, and I am so nervous I want to vomit. I am barely sleeping and feel like I've imbibed 47 cups of coffee. This is worse than the last few days leading up to the MCAT (but not as bad as the last few days leding up to getting my MCAT score). Jeeezus.

Of course, the schools I am interviewing at are at the opposite ends of the continent, so that means more traveling. WOOHOO! I'm not complaining -- anything to escape the frozen tundra (ok, so I am not exactly going to a warmer climate anytime soon... but still.)

Because I've answered this question more times in the past 5 days than you can imagine, I'm answering it for the last time here.

The entire process of applying to medical school takes about a year. I took the MCAT in April, sent in my primary AMCAS application in July, and just started sending in my secondary apps 2 weeks ago. Some schools won't get around to sending them out to applicants until September sometime, so this could go on for weeks/months. So far, I have 7 secondaries finished and mailed off, and 10 more to go. And that's just the MD programs -- I haven't even started on my AACOMAS application for osteopathic schools. And then of course, there's the European schools... Damn.

After I've sent in my secondary apps, my academic advisor needs to send out my letters of recommendation from the pre-med committee at my university. Last year I had to chase down 3 profs and ask them to write a letter on my behalf. I also have to get one from my advisor himself, since he's been my boss the past year on the cancer study. Once the med schools have received those, and my transcripts, which I already tracked down and sent in, my file is complete and they will decide if they want to interview me.

Now, AMCAS charged me about $75 per school I applied to. I applied to 17 schools. Each school then charges another fee for the secondary apps - they range from $75 to $100 each. On top if that, I need to pay for airline tickets and a hotel to go interview at whatever schools want to interview me. Roughly, we're talking about $5000 just to apply.

Statistically speaking, 1 in 4 interviewees gets an offer of admittance to the school. So ... as long as I get an interview, my chances of an acceptance go up.

Interviews begin at schools in September, but they go until March. Yes - March. So, the earliest I can possibly hear about an acceptance is October/November - but realistically, it can be anytime between then and April. If I get waitlisted at a school, they can call me 3 days before classes begin in July and tell me I've been accepted and it's up to me to pack and get myself to wherever I am going.
That's if I haven't already been accepted somewhere.

Orientation for MS1 students is in July/August (2005), depending on the school.

And then of course there's the dreaded no acceptance situation. If that's the case, then it's the MCAT again in April, and if that doesn't work after another year of this stuff, Plan B is to just finish my masters/PhD and say bite me to med school.

Besides - most Nobel winners have PhDs, not MDs. :)

The entire process, from my requisite pre-med science classes (12 classes x $1500/class = $18,000) to studying for the MCAT (kaplan class x 2 = $3000; MCAT = $300) to applying will have taken me 6 years and will have cost me over $26,000. And that's just to GET IN. Medical school is another 4 years and on average $250,000, and my residency in neurosurgery will be another 7 years on top of that (I get paid for that). All together, I will have invested 17 years and over $275,000 into becoming a brain surgeon. And that does not include the 5 years I spent as an undergrad in the 80's or the 4 years I spent in grad school in the 90's - which I am still paying off. (Now you know why your medical bills are outrageously expensive.)

Now, where did I apply? That is a secret that only my friends and family know.

Which reminds me - I still need to register for fall classes. Cha-ching. Another $1500 out the window.

One of the applications I am filling out wants to know what my SAT scores were.
Yes, you read that correctly. S. A.Motherf*cking-T.

Christ, I took them in 1983!! How the hell could they possibly even be relevant today!? Besides, most of the kids that will be in my med school class next summer weren't even BORN in 1983.

Oh god. Now I feel faint.

I got my first two secondary applications from two med schools yesterday. Once they review your primary application through AMCAS, they send you a second one if they are a) interested in you or b) hard up for cash.

I'm cynical and assuming they just want another $100 out of my wallet.

Regardless of their reason for sending me the secondary, one of the schools has become my 2nd choice (the 1st is Harvard, obviously, but that's a loooooooooooooong shot) and it's in my best interest to get the application done and back to them as fast as possible.

Of course, on one of these secondary apps, the school wants me to write 6 essays, including what motivates me to become a doctor. It's silly and frustrating because that's exactly what my personal essay on the primary application was about. After all, that's what they tell you to write about for that essay.

I'm glad I don't have a lot going on this week/weekend.

And... I just hope the other 10 schools I applied to chill out for at least another week and don't send me anything on top of this stuff. I'm back to chewing off my nails, and I haven't even started to write.

There's a med school in England that is supposedly very good, and they have classes beginning in January. They have a rolling admissions policy, meaning I can apply today for a seat in January.

I just printed out the application and will be reviewing it/filling it out with my advisor tonight. I still want to see how my apps to US schools fare, especially since I dropped a big chunk of change on them, and think I have a decent chance at getting an acceptance to some of the schools. But there's a big part of me that just wants to go already. I'm not a big fan of gray areas, limbo, and ambiguity. I've had more than enough in my life, and am decidedly a very black-and-white, I-need-to-know-where-I-stand-at-this-moment kind of person.

Needless to say, I am very impatient and hate to wait. Going at this doctor thing for 5.5 years has taught me some patience. But I am really antsy now, which I am told is normal days after hitting the Send button on AMCAS.

I think I could live in England for 2 years. (You do 2 years of classes at this school, then 2 years of clinical rotations in the US or somewhere else in Europe.)Like California, I could probably live in Europe forever, provided my wife could be there with me.

I am having dinner with my advisor tonight, along with some other docs, so I am hoping to get some good feedback from their perspective on this school.

Until then, I am going back to the real world of cutting my lawn, repairing my bike, and sitting in my university office chasing out the mice who scamper across the desk while I am calling patients. That ought to keep my mind occupied.

After spending more than 90 hours writing, rewriting, and agonizing over my med school application, I am pleased to say it is finally finished and has been sent to my list of 12 schools. Jesus, I feel like I gave birth. When I finally hit the send button, all I wanted to do was smoke a cigarette. I refrained, though. Instead, I celebrated with a cup of coffee.

I also began my AACOMAS application for osteo schools this weekend, although it isn't really due anytime soon. But I am eager to get going and get on with this doctor thing.

For now, though, I can focus on life again -- meaning reading my books, finishing my research paper, and most importantly relaxing in my pool. Yes, there is that whole find a temporary, meaningless job for the next 8 months thing, too ...

I need to acknowledge a few special people who helped me rewrite my life's history. To all of you who tolerated me the past 2 weeks, stopped me from pulling out my hair, provided helpful insights, critiques and heavy editing -- thanks for making me look so good!

Well, first things first. My EEG came back with abnormal spikes in the prefrontal cortex, which could indicate epilepsy (no big deal - I already knew I had it), or it could mean something else. (I was happy to learn I actually still had a prefrontal cortex -- I was pretty sure I lost most of those cells during a wild spring break week in college.)

My neurologist handed off the results to my regular doc for him to take the lead. As of today, I haven't been able to track him down to review the results and a plan of action. F*cking doctors - I hate them.

Meanwhile, back in my lower neck region, the ultrasound revealed that I have several growths. I am scheduled for a battery of tests next week in the hospital. I'm not terribly concerned -- nodes, if that's what they are, are fairly common and usually benign. But I won't know if that's what they are until I drink some radioactive iodine and have my neck x-rayed next week, and then have the little bastards biopsied.

Now, the real son of a bitch was the MCAT. I improved -- but not as much as I had hoped to. Well it was enough to let me apply with a reasonable amount of confidence, so I am now officially an applicant.

I'm still planning on continuing with my MS/PhD program in neuroscience at New York Med until I get an MD or DO/PhD program acceptance I am willing to take. (In other words, in a place I can actually see myself living for 4 years).

The big letdown is, no I didn't score high enough for the California schools (which are harder to get into than the Ivies - go f*cking figure), so I have to consider other locations. Like here, Florida, NJ, Virgina, Vermont, DC, Arizona... and Nebraska.

Hey - if the end result gets me a medical degree and lets me saw of skull caps for fun, I'm pretty much ready to go anywhere.

In any event, I can now come out of retirement and start looking for a job again. Hell, it's only for 10 months, so at this point, I am going to look for something fun and interesting.

I hear Hooters is hiring...

I had my ultrasound this morning, and sure enough, they found something. I heard the words "tumor" and "cyst" and was shown my carotid artery (I have no idea why -- I guess he thought it was interesting) but the doc's english wasn't too good, so I have to wait until I speak with my regular doc on Tuesday morning ... which is also the official date of my MCAT score release. 9am to be specific.

I'm also supposed to be at the ER at midnight Monday night/Tuesday morning showing one of my students how to do patient intake, so I should be in a fine mood come Tuesday afternoon.

I'd avoid me until at least Wednesday if I were you.

The next step is a fine needle biopsy, I guess. I'm looking forward to having a shiny, pointy object jabbed into my neck. While they are doing that, I should have them biopsy my brain to see if it actually exists.

Results of my blood test were inconclusive - I don't have hypo/hyperthyroidism, but the status of the thing growing on it is still undetermined. Back for another round of doc appointments this week. EEG results also still not in... and yes, I continue to shake.

One more week until MCAT scores, too - so I'm just a bundle of nerves.

The summer session for the research has also begun, which means I am back in the middle of training college students on how to do clinical research. In other words - Hell. I do start a class this week, though, that should be interesting. It's a medical decision making class. Since I also took the summer off from grad school, I thought this would be a good way to keep my mind occupied.

At some point this week, I need to finish my AAMCAS application. You wouldn't know that I've had 5 years to get this shit done already by the way everything is getting backed up and put off for days at a time. Jesus. Now I know why they say the hardest part of medical school is getting in.

I have to say, things have been blissfully mellow for me the past few days. Aside for bursting a blood vessel in my left eye on Sunday morning, resulting in my looking like a god damn one-eyed vampire, things have been pretty good. I spent this morning tutoring a friend in the finer points of neuro and visceral anatomy, then lounged at the beach for a few hours. Doing my best to keep my BP at 120/80.

Right now, I'm supposed to be finding out where my temporary office will be for the summer at the university... but my advisor has been MIA for a few days. As such, I've taken to doing my share of the research while ensconced on my back deck or sea side. Or not doing it at all, as the case truly may be.

It's been a pleasant, calm 5 weeks since the MCAT. But I can feel my nerves starting to kick in again as I get closer to the score release date. I am trying to stay focused on being positive (it ain't easy when you're a cynical bastard) and working on my AAMCAS application and personal statement so that I can send it off days after I get my score.

Then, I will promptly vomit, curl up into a ball of nerves and avoid human contact until I get an interview.

As for the job search -- well, truthfully I am *barely* searching. I am waiting to get the MCAT scores so I can see if it will be worth my time to establish residence elsewhere (California, NY) or keep my ass firmly planted in this hell hole. (Although, CT is much more tolerable during April/May/June/July.)

Don't get me wrong -- I want OUT of here. I'm just trying to make sure I do it the right way and for the right reasons.

Oh yes - it's done and over with. Round 2 of sitting for the MCAT is now a distant memory.

I'm fairly confident I scored much better than last year's attempt ... and for that I am very much grateful.

With that, I'd like to thank the following for their undying love, support and encouragement over the past 5 years:

Deb, Robyn, Mom, Dad, Karen, Pete, Danielle, Jack, Miki, Chrissy, Heather, Nanette, Anne and J.

Without you all, none of this would have been possible. Whatever success comes of this endeavor, I owe it all to you.

Much love,

L.

One week from tomorrow and my hell will be (temporarily) over with. Until then, don't expect much in terms of this blog being updated. Tomorrow is my last official practice full length exam (I may do another on Wednesday) and Sunday I begin my intensive last-minute studying, with a quick break to have Easter dinner at the folks' house and shove chocolate bunnies down my pants.

Then I am planning on retreating to the confines of my bunker/office until Friday night. So for the next 7 days, please -- no IMing me (I won't even be signing on), no emailing me, and no calling me anytime during the day between the hours of 8am until 6pm. I can't afford to be distracted, and believe me, I look for every excuse in the world to be distracted -- so, please don't enable me. I need to do well on Satuday. Afterall, someday I may just be YOUR doctor.

(Yes, Rob/Dan- we're still having dinner Saturday... wouldn't miss it. And Chris, yes, we're still on for The L Word. Bring Coke. I'm on the wagon until Saturday the 17th at 6pm.)

Meanwhile, if you're jonesing for good ol' fashioned right-wing, christian coalition/republican bashing and can't wait until next Sunday when I return, check out Air America radio.

See you all in a week!

(I'd say 'peace out' or 'later dawg' or something hip and cool like that, but I'm still not allowed to use hip and cool phrases ... mostly because I have no friggin idea what they mean.)

12 days until IT, and I'm pretty damn close to feeling wiped out. At some point in the past 72 hours, my eyeballs fell out and rolled under my desk. I haven't been able to find them, but AJ has been pulling at something under the frig for the past hour that I am pretty sure is my retina caked with fur and lint.

Seriously, though, I feel more confident than I did last year (not sure if that is a good thing) -- mostly because I've done nothing for the past 6 weeks except study with the occasional break to smoke (cigars), eat jelly beans and harass Deb, Robyn and the cats.

They've been good sports. (I'm referring to the cats. Deb and Robyn no longer enable me. Well... Deb at least doesn't.) ::evil grin::

But I've had time to focus on the MCAT crap that I get stuck on -- stuff like when the partial pressure of oxygen in adult and fetal hemoglobin experiences the Bohr effect and right shifts. And the number of peaks in a H NMR spectrum of just about every O2 containing molecule. And which cell in the pancreas is responsible for what enzyme, and that enzyme's molecular structure and what its mode of action is.

Just writing about it makes me shudder. But only because it scares me that I actually know this stuff now. Hopefully I can hold it all in my head until the 17th.

After the 17th I am planning on going to hell with myself. I don't mean just downloading the 10s of thousands of equations, facts and figures that are taking up valuable gray matter and then doing naked cartwheels around the backyard. I mean having some serious fun as a RETIREE. Like reading books I actually enjoy. Watching my documentary DVDs. Adding to my wine collection. Travelling. Eating. Sipping lattes with my other retired friends. Riding my motorcycle. Clipping my toenails with reckless abandon.

God, I don't miss working.

But I suppose I should do something for the next 12 months, shouldn't I? I mean ... I should contribute to society for a little bit longer. Right?

You're right, screw it.

Ok, so what is the deal with school?

I got my scores back – and while they are certainly good enough to apply and get into some of my listed schools, I still want to do better. I want to ensure that I am beyond competitive – I want to secure a spot at a top research medical school (NYU, Yale, Hopkins, Harvard, UCLA etc.), and for that I need excellent MCAT scores. So, yes, as I expected, I’ll be taking it again (April ‘04, not in August – a mere 7 weeks away) with 75% of everyone else who wants to slay the beast.

But… I am still making arrangements this week to go and visit a few schools that I may still apply to now. Once I visit the schools and determine if they are an option I would seriously consider, I will decide whether or not I will hit the send button on my application or wait until next spring.

Meanwhile, after a meeting with my pre-med advisor last night that lasted way past midnight (thank god this doc makes house calls), I most likely will be attending New York Medical College in the fall – taking classes in their MS/PhD program (neuroscience). I wasn’t happy or challenged with undergrad classes, so the next best thing is grad school. Between the cancer research project, grad school classes and a full time job, I’d have to say I should be able to keep myself busy.

Of course, that could all change should I decide to go to med school at one of my B-list schools…

Counting down the days until April 17, 2004…

And I am DONE. And I mean done with all my pre-med requirements. After 4.5 years of extra courses on top of my undergraduate and graduate degrees I will be offcially finished until I begin med school.

Of course, I am going to take a graduate level neuroscience class this coming fall because I'm really interested in it and it looks good on your application. More so because I am interested in it. And I have no idea what else I'd do with all my spare time. Honestly. (The wife is already asking me when I start school again because I'm driving her crazy now that my attention is away from the books for the most part ...)

Ahh yes... after tonight I get to sit back, have a beer, put my feet up and unwind and not have to think "Aww shit, I have to get up at 6am and study tomorrow." Or deal with students who are lucky they can tie their shoes. Or suffer through horrible professors and their inane, useless lectures. (Well, not all of them.)

I also begin my research next week, and that I am really looking forward to. Plus, sailing season starts soon, and my wife, dog and motorcycle will finally get the attention they deserve.

Ah yes... life is good.

I am so sick of fucking studying, I want to punch someone in the colon.

I can't get away fast enough -- 3 more weeks until Cape Cod ...

(OK, so I lied. That wasn't the last post yesterday. Not that anyone believed me... evident by my traffic being quite high since last night)

First, I want to thank everyone who has been e-mailing, sending cards and calling me to wish me good luck -- it means a lot. Especially to Robyn, Dan and Anne who gave me the gifts of time (in the form of a beautiful Swiss Army watch) and chocolate (a box full of Fairyland chocolate brownies --OH MY F'N GOD, they are so good ... and Deb's going to KILL you.) You guys are the best ... :) And for everyone who's had patience with me over the past few months (too many names to list)... thank you.

Second, to whomever the hell keeps Googling on "naked-Dixie-chicks" and landing on my site: get a fucking life.

That's all. Back to the books ...

The last post until Saturday night. I'm off from work because I wanted to relax the last 2 days and get in some last minute studying. And, I would be useless at work.

As it is, I am forgetting the simple things like brushing my teeth or how to make toast. (Burned 1/2 a loaf of bread this morning before I was able to eat. And of course, I have no appetite. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, in the grand scheme of things.)

I was just reading the directions on where to go for the exam, and saw that they fingerprint you as well as demand a passport picture. Like anyone needs that added stress minutes before the exam.

Oh well. All I know is I have to be somewhere on the Yale campus by 8am Saturday and won't be leaving until sometime early evening. I won't even be able to have a celebratory glass of wine or beer when I am done because I have an exam 2 days later and have to come home and study. (Ha. Like that'll happen.)

When all is said and done, someone's going to get my fist in their temple.

Alright, send all your positive energy, prayers (yep, I'll take what I can get), stress-reducing secrets and tranquilizers my way.

See you all post-MCAT.

Here we go ... the nerves just woke up and realized it was Wednesday.

I'm trying to get some reading in for my organic chemistry class, and I can't remember a thing I read the second I turn the page.

Dry mouth. Sweaty palms. High BP. Migraine a-brewing. I'm not making any sense to my friends. Just babbling. Having very odd dreams (like, my boss quit and was joining Riverdance, and as he was showing me one of his spectacular dance moves, he kicked himself in the calf and almost died.)

My god, I feel like I'm going through puberty again. Not the feeling I was looking for.

I only have 3 weeks of school left -- and in those three weeks I have 2 regular exams, 2 final exams, 2 lab reports and an extra credit paper to write.

I'm not EVEN going to talk about the stress of Saturday. If I actually get any sleep between now and 6am Saturday morning, it will be a miracle.

I can not believe IT's only 8 days away. Actually, I thought I'd be more nervous than I am. I think I just want to get it over with and start enjoying myself again for the first time in a while. Even if it's only for a few weeks.

My concentration has been the worst all week. For a variety of reasons that don't all have to do with the MCAT.

I've been making lots of plans for the summer already - which may not be such a wise decision, considering I'll be retaking this fucking exam in August if I don't get the score I want. Yeah yeah... I know. Think positively.

I'm trying... but my cynical side is not cooperating.

I'm supposedly going to Provincetown for Memorial Day weekend as a kick-off to summer and a final hurrah with my compadre. We're going to celebrate and re-enact a decade-old ritual where Anne and I get drunk 3 nights in a row, buy the chickies drinks, eat lots of raw seafood, thus prompting Anne's mom to yell at her about the dangers of hepatitis, and make Deb steer us down the street in an effort to get us home alive.

That should make me forget about school for a while... if it doesn't inflict permanent brain damage. After all, I'm not 25 anymore.

Neat! My eyeballs are bleeding.

I took today off from work so I can get in another 12 hours of studying. Actually, I am in the middle of taking a full-length practice MCAT that I downloaded from AAMC. In other words, I'm filling in tiny bubbles ...

I'm trying to replicate the same environment I'd experience on test day. However, I don't think there are hairball-vomiting cats roaming around the testing classrooms, sitting their dirty cat asses on your MCAT test grid or attacking your pencils during the actual exam.

In case you haven't surmised, I'm on my 1-hour lunch break. I had a PB&J sandwich. Envy my culinary repertoire. It is staggering. Now, I am even baking chocolate chip cookies.

Oh please. Deb went out and bought the idiot-proof kind -- they are already pre-cut (thus eliminating any possibility of my having to use a sharp object) into quarter-sized slabs of cookie dough that you just toss on a cookie sheet and bake at 350. I think I can handle this. I've had oven burns before, and they no longer intimidate me.

Ovens are supposed to make a metal popping noice while heating up ... right?

So far, I've done the 100 minute physics/chemistry section and the 85 minute verbal reasoning section. I'm skipping the 60 minute writing portion and blogging instead. (It's a nice way of justifying my need to waste time.)

Next up, 100 minutes of fun-filled organic chemistry, biology, anatomy, physiology and genetics.

I will give a crisp $20 bill to the first person who greets me with an ice-cold Corona with a slice of lime as I walk out of my office later on this evening.
Yeah. I'm generous like that.

As if it was a riotously funny April Fool's joke, Mother Nature spent a few hours dripping wet snow on the state of CT today. And by Friday we're supposed to be close to 70 degreee again.

Mmm. Healthy.

Yeah, living in New England is a real treat. Have I mentioned lately how much I hate it?

I really need to question my sanity -- why I surround myself with things that annoy me. Snow, snobs, stupid students ... and cats who kick can shit so far out of the litterbox I'm about to get them an NFL agent.

Yes, I can tell I am getting crankier as D-Day draws ever closer. I've already given a big, warm welcome to the stress zits and reading-induced migraines. By Saturday, I should be fully engaged in projectile vomiting.

My sister keeps reminding me, "You're living your dream! Be Happy!" Heh. I'll be happy in 4 weeks.

Who am I kidding. No, I won't. I won't be happy until I get an acceptance letter. Although my officemate tells me that he's sure I'll find something to bitch about even then.

Probably.

I've got some really exciting new that has my head spinning and I feel compelled to share it with everyone. (I did tell family and closest pals first... :)

I talked to my premed advisor this morning, and he informed me me that I definitely got the job as Chief Research Associate working for him this summer! It will be mostly on weekends, and some weeknights after work at my real job, which is still a high priority. If it wasn't for my wonderful job, I wouldn't have a paycheck or the ability to do what I am doing.

Anyway... this is a volunteer position, but my advisor just found out that the NIH is going to fund the research, and it looks like I may get some cash out of the deal down the road.

The real bonus is, I now get free tuition! I'll be able to take medical decision making and medical ethics classes this summer for free, and there's also an opp for work/study for about $5000/semester, which would let me continue to take classes like biochemistry and neuroscience next year in exchange for my hard work. I will also get to publish in a scientific paper, which is a big plus on the med school apps.

The research means I'll be back working in the ER in the local city hospital again, and some weekends in NYC. I'll also be able to join the top docs on Grand Rounds. How cool is that???

And finally, I got the tattoo design back from the artist (thanks, Chrissy!), and it looks very cool. I'm really happy with it and now I really can't wait to get it done. I'm going to meet with the guy this weekend to set up an appointment to get inked -- probably right after the MCAT.

OK.. exam tomorrow night.. must go back to studying.

I just got home from taking my first Organic Chem exam of the semester. I finished it in 45 minutes. I don't know if I should be elated or distraught -- I've never tackled an exam that quickly before. Although, because of the snow storms, it was postponed twice, so I had plenty of time to prepare.

I'm allowing myself the realized gain in free time (about 1/2 hour) to relax and unwind (blog) and then I'll work on MCAT stuff. It seems like the closer the date gets, the less time I have to study for it and that's unnerving. (Maybe I should blog less?) I must admit, though, that I am not as panicky as I thought I would be right now. And that, too, unnerves me.

OK, basically everything unnerves me, so maybe I am more stressed than I realize.

And now I'll probably spend the majority of the weekend at Kaplan studying and doing problems. Working my big ol' butt off alleviates the stress.

I am having a mad, torrid affair with school. It's sick. Sick I tell you. When I am not studying, I am thinking about studying, or planning in my calendar the next time I will be alone with my precious books and studying some more. What do I do when I am not studying? Sleep. Even then I'm doing problems in my dreams. Like calculating the velocity of my dog, or her molecular weight (which makes no sense unless, of course, it's on a final exam that I am failing in my dream). Most people have interesting, exotic, surreal dreams. (Note: This is not an open invite to tell me about your long, involved trippy dream after a night of drinking tequila -- unless of course it involves me studying. Then I might be interested.). What do I have? Noturnal physics emmissions.

I am already worrying about what to do next Fall, since I'll technically be done with required course work. I was thinking of taking a biochemistry or neurobiology course to keep my brain going. Friends tell me to take the time off.

Something tells me that they'd be much better off if I was preoccupied. I don't think they want me hyperfocused on them. It only leads to the inevitable: a manifesto.

Yesterday I took the day of from work so that I could spend most of the day at Kaplan studying for the MCAT and also so I could meet with my pre-med advisor and update him on my progress thus far.

The meeting itself went quite well. If all goes according to plan, I will be working with him (volunteer; ~20 hours per week) this summer doing research in emergency medicine. Pretty cool! (so much for enjoying my last summer off ...)

The studying also went well. Not only did I accomplish a lot, but I am also feeling a bit more comfortable with the format of the exam -- reading 3-4 paragraph passages, and using my knowledge of physics, chemistry, organic chemistry, anatomy, physiology, biology and genetics to answer "what if" scenarios.

I've been prepping for about 10-15 hours a week since November, save a few weeks during the holidays where I did little to no work. Despite the constant prep on the science stuff, this is really a psychological battle. A 5-hour grueling mental marathon that determines my fate.

No pressure there.

I'm trying to work on my level of stress ... and not being too successful. I wish I could find an hour a day to get to the gym, but every free moment I have is dedicated to either Organic Chemistry or the MCAT. I felt the stress building all last week, and into this week. Joints aching, feeling very tired, drained and cranky.

However, I did get a good night's sleep the night before last, after dreaming about filling in tiny little bubbles on a Scan Tron sheet for 8 hours the night before that.

Even though it's not my style to relax, if I don't chill out soon, the wife is going to beat me. No, don't tell me to try breathing exercises -- they only make me light-headed. I refuse to take any chemical that falls under the controlled substance/narcotics family, so that's out.

Hmm. I know! I think I'll go shooting this weekend! Woohoo!

stinks. I got it all over my hands, and it's making me gag. Avoid it at all costs.

So yes, as you might have surmised, I am back from the first night of organic chemistry lab ... and no, I didn't blow anything up, send flammable liquids flying across the room or impale myself with the thermometer. Yet. There are still 10 weeks to go.

But damn, I am beat. All of this studying, animal healthcare quandaries and life issues are taking their toll on me, making me quite the irritable fuck. Yes, I can admit that even I have faults. Rare as they may be. But I do have them. And one is my ability to go from calm, cool, and collected to psychotic bitch without warning. (Well, the horns suddenly sprouting from my forehead might be considered a subtle clue.)

It's called stress, dear readers. So, you'll have to forgive me if I suddenly go off half cocked for no reason. I generally go back to my charming, sedate, warm and fuzzy self after a few minutes (shut up, Robyn). You know, once the proverbial hair has been plucked from my tender, plump and juicy ass.

And with that, I am off to bed. I need to rest my weary bones ... before one of the cats decides to vomit, eviscerate, or have a seizure.

I had all these plans.

As soon as I finished school, I was going to do all those things I've been meaning to do since July, but haven't had the time.

Read the stack of books that's been growing next to my bed. Answer old emails. New ones I have no problem getting to -- it's the ones that came to me months ago that I continue to ignore. See a few films (No, Rob, "Batthumb" does NOT count. But Istill want to see it. :) Go out to dinner. Listen to music without it being only a noise buffer for the endless chatter coming from my officemate. Sleep. Talk to friends. Brush up on my French. Gaze at the stars. Get caught up.

At first glance, it seems that all I've managed to do is drink excessive caffeine, torment the cats, email with a few choice people and mill about my office, pondering which book I should read first and why one of each pair of my socks have a hole in the toe. I've wasted 5 days. The horror of it.

Actually, I lie. It's not a horror at all. It's been wonderful.

I had dinner with old friends last night, and watched an episode of Carl Sagan's Cosmos. I've been trying to get through the whole series a bit at a time. It's fascinating, and warrants a lot of attention. I had a nice lunch with a new friend today, which reminded me why meeting new people can be one of life's great pleasures. And now, music is on in the house, with its sole purpose to soothe my nerves. As I gradually enter the panic phase of MCAT preparation, I am trying to enjoy every waking moment of freedom I have.

I leave for my first vacation in a year in 10 days. A much needed vacation. I am hoping to return decompressed, rejuvenated, relaxed, and tan.

The euphoria should last until the second the plane smacks down on the icy tarmac of JFK. No more. No less.

Well, I'm back from lab and didn't blow up anything today. Unfortunately. Labs are so boring when I don't screw something up. Where's the learning when everything goes smoothly?

Actually I quite enjoy my lab. The cool thing is, everytime I watch CSI on TV (my new favorite show, after ER, replacing Dawson's Ass Crack) I know all the equipment and techniques they are using, because we use the same thing in Orgo lab. IR spectroscopy, chromatography, separation techniques, etc. Not that I could catch a criminal by indentifying his DNA just yet. (Now that would be cool!) But I know how to use the lab equipment.

Several people have told me recently that I should go into forensic pathology. I don't know ... I mean, I don't mind the sight of decomposing bodies so much (now, there's something I bet you don't hear everyday) -- it's the smell that gets to me.

It could be interesting, though. But I do have a tendency to have nightmares, so perhaps it's not wise. Perhaps I should pick up some true crime novels and see ...

2 hours of football (playing, not watching) and a 4-hour MCAT diagnostic exam weren't enough to kick my ass yesterday. No. I had to write a lab report and prepare for another one tonight, so I added 6 more hours of mental stimulation to my already brutal day. I don't remember going to bed.
Actually, I think my brain may have fallen out of my head at some point during the transition from my office to my bedroom. If anyone finds it, please let me know. (And I already checked up my ass, so don't bother telling me to look there ...)

When I got home from work last night, there was a box at my front door from Kaplan, containing my MCAT study books – standard issue for everyone who takes the prep class. I was anxious to open it, and peruse the contents, but since I was heading into the city to spend the night at my sister’s, I threw the box into the trunk of my car, and left for Manhattan. Once we got to Karen’s apartment, we ate dinner, chatted, and about midnight, after a long, stressful (test-taking) day, I decided to open the box and see what exactly I was getting for my $1349. By the 4th phonebook sized study manual, my life had flashed before my eyes and I was seconds away from a full-fledged panic attack. At the bottom of the box, beneath 6 GIANT, onion-skin paper study guides, a 200+ page manual on how to TAKE the MCAT, and a packet filled with hundreds of flash cards was a letter from Kaplan. The first sentence simply read: “Do not be overwhelmed by the volume of material.”

These people at Kaplan have a sick, twisted sense of humor. Next thing you know, they’re going to tell me to “relax.”

Talk about a slap in the face by reality.

On Sunday I registered for a Kaplan MCAT review class. I take The Exam on April 26. I have been simultaneously fretting and preparing for this day for 3.5 years. Sure, it’s still 6 months away. But the fact that I registered for the class, and will soon have to register for the actual exam is just hitting me.
No, I am not freaking out. It just feels like it took forever to get this far, and I can’t believe it’s just down the road. The MCAT will be the great equalizer for me. My goal is to do well enough so I do not have to repeat it in August.
In January, I am going to sit for the GRE so I can start an MS/PhD program in neuroscience next September, while awaiting word on my med school applications. I am not even concerned about the GRE, oddly enough. I am pretty confident I will do well on that. Besides, I’ve already completed one master’s degree. Grad school, in my opinion, is a lot less tedious than undergrad, which has a lot more busy work than I care to do. They say (“they” being the existential “they”) you shouldn’t start a PhD program while applying to med schools because it looks bad if you drop out. Food for thought. But a terminal master’s program seems anticlimactic to me, especially when my ultimate goal is academic research and private practice.

Meanwhile… Organic Chem exam #2 is tomorrow morning, and I feel like I haven’t slept in days …

CH3CH2CH=CH2 + HCl --> CH3CH2CHClCH3

CH3CH2CH=CH2 + H2O + H2SO4 --> CH3CH2CHOHCH3 +H2SO4

Fascinating, isn't it?

Last week, the chairman of my company walked into my office and handed me 4 tickets to last night’s Yankee game. Sweet! Box seats, right by the 3rd base dugout. Paid parking. Stadium Club passes. And of course … I had lab. That’s what I get for saying how much fun I had last week. The Evil Forces are once again focused on me.
I gave the tix to Deb, Jack, my sister and Mr. Ragu so that they may go and have a good time for me. As much as I enjoy my orgo lab, I would have preferred to have been at a Yankee game, even if they lost. Especially last night.
My lab partner brought my threshold of patience to a whole new level. She could not read a thermometer. She could not figure out how to plug in a heating mantle. And ... she’s a bigger disaster than me.
Generally when I hear glass shattering in the lab, it’s almost always her. She is the reason why most university lab equipment is made of Pyrex. Last night, for some reason that only made sense to her, she decided to poke one of my flasks, which was delicately attached to my apparatus and while she asked me the inane “How did you get this thingy on there?” No sooner did the words spill out of her mouth, the flask came crashing down all over my lab bench. (It was not made of Pyrex.) I sighed and remarked “Well, that’s a moot question now, isn’t it?”
I cleaned up the broken shards of glass and refrained from forcing them down her throat, (the lab assistant was watching), and quickly set up a new flask just in time for my professor to wander over to check on my experiment. He’s one of those people who like to fuss with equipment. I don’t mind, as he has been paying a lot of attention to me in lab (general chit chat – we’re the same age, and I think the “kids” make him nuts). So when he decided to adjust the hose that was attached to the water source, I was glad to stand back and let him putter. Especially the 3 seconds just after he adjusted the water hose when I had a fountain of water spraying all over my lab bench. And him. And my lab partner, who just had to stick her nose in to see how you stick a hose onto a nozzle.

Ha.

I can tell I am going to like my organic chemistry lab ... I never liked general chem labs, as they were always about seeing and understanding reactions, and they were long. And boring. Physics labs were not too exciting either, but they were thankfully short. My bio labs were in fact long, but interesting when we were dissecting cool stuff, like sharks and snakes. The only other lab that was as interesting was microbiology, because we got to grow stuff, like mutant bacteria.
But organic chem lab ... sure it was long, but it was really interesting ... we get to make stuff. Last night I made acetanilide crystals. Acetanilide is an analgesic (pain killer), like aspirin or acetaminophen (Tylenol).
It's much better knowing beforehand how reactions work, and how certain compounds react with each other, and then, instead of focusing on the intermediate reactions, actually using that info to create something tangible. Sure, getting the proper reaction is necessary, but to actually make something useful, especially medicine ... now that's cool!
In a future lab, I get to work with chloroform -- you've probably seen it in the movies: It's an anaesthetic that's used to render people unconscious by evil villains. (No, you can't have any.) Whee!
I can't wait to see what we make next .. heh heh. (Deb may have to start hiding the chemicals in the house.)
My plans for world domination are starting to fall into place ...

Two weeks of fretting about this stupid lab, and I get there tonight and 4 out of the 12 students are no-shows. What the hell is wrong with people? They register for a class, fill it up to capacity, and then don't bother coming?
On top of that, the same guy that teaches the lab at my primary school also teaches the orgo lab at this (other) university. Same guy, same class, different school. Half of us are from the other school! Can someone tell me why he can't teach a night class at my primary school?

For god's sake. I'll never understand universities.

On a positive note, a good friend of mine is taking a class simultaneously as me, right down the hall, so I'll get to see her more often!

The final bonus is, the school store down the hall now sells Vanilla Coke. Wheee!

So how did you spend your last weekend of the summer? I spent mine cleaning my basement, weeding the garden, shredding old documents, and breaking my thumb, which, by the way, I refuse to have xrayed and casted because it's the hundreth time it's been broken. I'm over it already. It can stay swollen and sore for the next 6 weeks. I'm ignoring it. As far as I am concerned, it's nothing but negative attention seeking on the part of my thumb. It's a fat, stubby little hypochondriac.
We were going to drive up to Newport for a day, but this lovely New England weather put a damper on the plans. Not a big deal. We did manage to squeeze in 2 parties and dinner with friends. Oh yes, and we broke the motorcycle trying to redo the saddle bags. Jack is coming over tomorrow to rescue us. Whoever built this bike initially had something against nuts and bolts. The original parts are .. (refraining from saying screwed up) .. a royal pain in the ass.
School begins tomorrow. Still trying to get into the lab portion of this class, which I need. The night lab was closed, so now I am not registered for any lab because the geniuses at this school allow 32 students in a class, but only 12 in a lab. There are 4 classes and only three labs, which leaves a lot of people screwed out of the lab portion. (Do the math.)
In any event, taking notes tomorrow morning is going to be a challenge for the thumb-impaired. I can't grip a pen very well ...
Sigh.

5 weeks of busting my ass has paid off! I got my grades a little while ago, and got an A- in Chem!!! I was hoping for a B or better, so I am quite pleased with the result. Chemistry has not been my favorite subject, and I had been dreading part II, "the pre-med weed-out class," for 3 years. The 5-week intensive class seemed at the time to last for eternity. Now it seems as if it flew by...

I'm going home now, grabbing a beer, and relaxing for the rest of the weekend ... In a mere 10 days, I'll have yet another big fish to fry.

I'm done!!!!!! Damn it, that was a long final exam. Almost three hours of chemistry problem solving. My eyes were throbbing when I walked out of there. Headed right to my company's annual summer picnic, which was being held all afternoon. I was greeted by some colleagues handing me a much-needed beer. Illegal contraband at corporate functions are always a welcome surprise. (The beer was not part of the official picnic.)

Now I'm home, chilling, and my new saddlebags have arrived, so I've got more toys to play with for the next few weeks until the insanity begins anew.
... It feels like a summer Friday for me... I hope the rest of the week is as pleasant as this moment.

Taking a small break from .. what else. The "C" word. I must say, though, that after 3.5 days of this, I am not as cranky as expected. Since I've had the AC on all weekend, and my mood is level, I am not turning it on today. My electric bill is going to be astronomical as it is. Another bonus of east coast living. That, and this haze that settles in the sky for the entire month of August. Stargazers be damned.
I'm playing in my first softball game in over a month tonight, and I'll be damned if I can remember how to swing a bat. I played basketball on Saturday morning and "girl throws" were in abundance. If we win tonight, we head to the championship game next week. We're shooting for 6 in a row. I'm allowing myself to play because it could be the last game of the season for us. And who's to say what will be on tap next summer... with the wife job hunting and me filling out school apps.
Oh my! A breeze! I must go take advantage of it and get in the shower with the windows open.

Well, I'm done. Had the test, the lab, the lab final. Only one more lecture and my final exam next week.

And I don't even want a beer. It must be getting nipply somewhere in Hell...

It is so very, very strange that I dream of redox reactions, heat of fusion equations, equilibrium constants, and acid-base reactions. In my head during the night I am calculating the amount of energy to convert my dog into salt...
I have my last regular exam today, lab final exam tonight, and last class tomorrow. I'd have to say that the next 36 hours can't pass fast enough. While not the hardest thing I've ever done, this has certainly been one of most painful classes. Not painful as in hard - painful as in I've had a headache for 5 weeks. Too much reading and problem solving packed into a short time-frame. I'm looking forward to a relaxing 2 weeks until I begin again.

And, no, I don't regret a single moment of it.