I am STILL getting people coming to this site by searching on the phrase h e a d i n v a g i n a. And Yes, I know I am only perpetuating it by adding it to the site again.

But seriously. Is life for you people THAT deprived?

Dear god.

So, I'm thinking of trying a bizarre phrase of the month just to see, experimentally, what it does to my traffic.

So, this month's phrase, courtesy of the Monkey In Chief herself, Beth, is "monkey pessary" ...

(Oh for fuck's sake, go look it up...)

Last night Beth and I made what's become an annual pilgrimage to see the Dave Matthews Band. We last saw DMB at Hollywood Bowl, which was astonishing. It has become my favorite venue, hands down. The acoustics are incomparable. And we are planning to head north to see him perform at the Gorge and do a little camping as well.

Last night, however, we saw them perform at Staples Center. It was a great show, despite the sad overtones as the group's sax player passed away yesterday. But as always, it was an amazing performance.
That said, here's the setlist from last night:

Bartender
Proudest Monkey (YAY!!!)
Satellite
So Damn Lucky
Eh Hee
Water Into Wine
Burning Down The House
Dancing Nancies
Loving Wings
The Maker
Sledgehammer
Grey Street
Dreaming Tree
Crash Into Me
Everyday
Anyone Seen The Bridge
Too Much Intro
Ants Marching

Encore:
Sister
Corn Bread
Two Step

I was a little bummed they didn't play Crush which is my favorite DMB song and has special meaning to me. But they played some great cover songs including Burning Down the House and Sledgehammer. I've been a long time Peter Gabriel fan and have probably seen him in concert more than any other artist. And who doesn't love Talking Heads??

I must say though that despite a fantastic show, I was unimpressed with the acoustics at Staples. I was surprised at how inadequate it seemed. I dont think the venue was a particularly good location for DMB, as they are astonishing live and should really be eard outdoors. The inside of SC was beautiful, though - very trendy. (Makes MSG look like a shit heap. :)

Ah, life in LA...

That said, this actually was my first time at an event at Staples Center. So perhaps last night's acoustics was merely a fluke and not truly representative of how concerts sound there generally.

It seems odd that I have never been there before since I've been living in LA for 3 years now and do get to go out and explore the cultural/sports/music scene fairly often. I've been to Angels stadium many times for baseball games, Disney a gazillion times (we have annual passes), Hollywood Bowl 3 or 4 times. And I've been to most of the major "hip" or formerly hip clubs and restaurants (we blew off hard-to-get 11pm rez at Pizzeria Mozza last night out of sheer exhaustion). I've done the whole gay pride thing here as well. Yes, my social life is alive and well, despite the being a lowly, sleep deprived med student.

This Friday the fun continues -- we are going to see Tom Petty at Irvine Meadows -- my first time there as well.

Good thing my days of studying 10-15 hours a day are behind me!

I can once again breathe. I killed that pig! My last exam of medical school!! I took Step 2 of the Boards today - a hellatious 8-hour, 400 question beast. Ugh. But its done, and it's behind me.

Now I can watch the damn Olympics!! And go to the beach every weekend... and exhale. Yes, Beth, you can exhale, too.

Monkey juice???

Holy shitttttt... (I still get chills thinking about it -- this whole doctor thing. Wow.)

Yes, I take my Step 2 of the boards this Wednesday. Hence the stress. Unlike many others, I did not have a vacation the weeks leading into my exam. Oh no, I had to go and choose Pediatric Fucking ER (which I love, don't get me wrong) the weeks leading up to the exam. My schedule is so erratic, it's hard finding more than 4 hour blocks to study.

Sigh... I'll get through it. Somehow.

I can remember fretting madly over the MCAT. Seems so trivial now. (It WASN'T.) And I am sure my propensity to stress over exams has not diminished. But I'm certain the amount I bitch has most definitely been reduced. You shoulda seen me 4 years ago. I was an insufferable pain in the ass. (Yes, I am aware of that NOW.) It's just that, now, I know I'll be a doctor in 8 months. (!!! holy shit!!!) I just want to make sure I'll be a decent one.

OK, done procrastinating. More questions. (Peri... it's just not the same when we're not sitting face to face on the deck or at the table drinking coffee and sobbing softly together... I hope Jade and Sara and Chris are pleased with themselves! ;)

Menstruatng monkey ass pheromones must die.

Every have one of those days when everyone pretty much sucks and altruism seems like a nice notion but really is a crock of shit?

Yeah, well I'm there.

Feeling jaded and tortured. Maybe it's PMS, maybe it's premenopausal crap, or maybe it's just people in general.

But right now I want to punch someone in the neck. (no one in particular. just the first person to cross me... or just cross my path.)

(Have I mentioned I am sleep deprived and studying for boards??? Yes, maybe that DOES have something to do with it.)

For those who asked/are interested in my 4th year schedule, here 'tis:

June/July: Neonatal Intensive Care Unit
July/August: Pediatric Emergency Medicine
August/Sept.: Family Medicine
VACATION!! Beach house in Hermosa Beach, baby!
Sept./Oct.: Emergency Medicine
Oct./Nov.: Infectious Disease
VACATION!! In the works
Nov./Dec.: Pediatric Neurology
Dec./Jan.: Neurosurgery
Jan./Feb: Neurology
Feb./March: Radiology
VACATION!!! 2 weeks!!! Sailing!!!
March/April: Addiction Medicine, in Hawaii!
Last day: April 24.
Graduation: May 15
End of May: THE FAMILY'S VILLA ON THE AMALFI COAST, ITALY!!!

June: Residency starts... TBD. :)

I'm currently working in my pediatric emergency medicine rotation ... many, many hours. Very, very tired. And sick. Again. Natch.

I went from cushy to crushed overnight. I love it though! FANTASTIC hospital and great attendings. The residents are incredibly smart - the best group I've seen thus far. They make everyone just want to perform better.

I'm working 6 days a week, and today is my day off. I work 4-midnight the next 6 days (theoretically 8 hours, but usually I am there 9-10) -- the busiest shift in this ER. I'm seeing and learning a lot, and we are expected to diagnose and treat as if we are interns. It's good practice for next year - it functions like a sub-internship. So far I have diagnosed leukemia in a patient who came in with chest pain, reduced a few dislocated elbows, sutured some lacerations, and treated/managed the care of a baby with a fractured skull. Not a bad first 3 days!

Now I'm off for more Board study. Test in 3 weeks..

Speaking of time: only 8.5 months left!

I am hoping to be better about chronicling the trials and tribulations of med school life during my 4th year. Obviously, I've been busy and sadly this blog has been neglected.

It's pathetic in that I have had much blogworthy news!

4th year is going swimmingly thus far. I am currently working in a NICU taking care of premature infants. It's a more humane rotation in that I am not working 90 hoursa week -- more like 35, which is reasonable since I am taking Step 2 of the boards soon. I'm enjoying the preemies -- they're like little pocket-sized peanuts I just want to take home. I am currently managing 2 with very severe neurological problems (Bilateral Grade 4 Intraventricular Hemorrhage), and they are both day-to-day status. I am going to run upstairs soon to observe a head ultrsound on one of them to see if the dilation of brain ventricles has reduced. Then I'm off -- heading home to check on my very very pregnant roommate, Peri (twin girls on the way!!) to see if she is still vomiting her guts out. (Love you too, peri!)

In two weeks I will be working in downtown LA for my Pediatric Emergency Medicine rotation. Then it's off to UCLA for more rotation fun -- and my beach house in Hermosa Beach! Schwing!!! Got a place right on the Strand, so bikini watching will vie for my time. (I don't care what my girlfriend says, I do NOT have a neoprene neck.)

The great news is that I will be doing my last rotation of medical school in Hawaii. I'll be there for 5 weeks (march-april) for an Addiction Medicine rotation.

Let's see... what else. I've been to the beach a lot - twice this past weekend, actually. Working on my stellar tan -- Lord knows I have some seriosuly white legs and tan face and arms. Go figure. I need scrubs that are not SPF 2000. (OK, and I need to wear something other than scrubs and crocs all week long.)

Got my grades for third year - Honors in 9/10 rotations! That should help my residency application.

And... when not studying or trying to figure out a way to go to the beach I am obsessing with my iPhone (yes, Deb, and monkeys.. just wait til you get back and I've added 27 more to the collection!). Not the 3G, damn it. But it's still the best phone hands down. I finally gave up my Treo for something way cooler and slicker. Yes, I sacrificed epocrates for style.

Well, I should get back to studying and the babies... hopefully, I'll be back soon and upload some pics from the Playboy Jazz Festival, LA Pride festival, the beach, yadda yadda yadda.

For those of you back in CT -- see you Thursday! Yes, I'm heading home for another world-wind trip - 4 days. My last until after I graduate!

I'm officially a senior - and 10 months away from being a doc! This is how Beth feels about that:

Life's been pretty busy the past few weeks as I am winding down my third year. In a few days I will be a 4th year med student and with that comes the stress and joy of residency applications. It also means no more tests! Well, of course, I will have my Board exams in July and September, but medical school exams will be a fond (NOT) memory.

I'm currently rotating in my last internal medicine slot, and have been assigned to the Nephrology team. This was unexpected, as this type of rotation works more like a sub-internship. However, I am pleased to be learning so much about renal disease, electrolyte imbalances, cardiac and pulmonary disease, etc. It's mentally intensive but I am learning an amazing amount and have managed to get out of working weekends -- a bonus for being on the Renal Team! Initially I was supposed to work 6am to 6pm, 6 days a week - now it's only 5. Believe me, 12 hours is a BIG deal when you miss so much. (60 hours as opposed to 72/wk.)

My sister scored some Sex and the City screening tix for this past week, but I had to pass as I was on call. I'm also missing the Relay for Life next weekend in CT (sorry ladies!!!!) because I initially thought I had to work.

I also have tickets for the upcoming Playboy Jazz Festival at the Hollywood Bowl for the entire weekend, but I need to wake up early and study for about 8 hours each day of the weekend as my last round of shelf exams is the following week.

It's not that I'm not getting in important events. Just yesterday I was post-30 hour call, and was home from work by noon so hopped in the car with D and went to Disneyland for the day/evening. Easy to do when you have annual passes and live 30 minutes from the great mouse house. We actually go down there quite a bit to hit a few rides and grab dinner in the evenings.

I should also be getting in some beach time next week - I'll be post-call Friday and have the weekend off - what's known as a Golden Weekend. (A rare 3-day off event.)

Speaking of time off, my next vacation is not until September, which seems an eternity since I haven't had one since November.

I know, I know. Quit whining! I signed up for this! And I DO love every minute of it. I just miss my family and friends a fuck of a lot... and having a normal life. (will that ever be possible again???)

Beth sent this to me. Think she's trying to tell me something?

Rocked my Surgery and Family Medicine shelf exams! Spent the weekend celebrating ... which was much needed. I am not crazy about my current rotation, Internal Medicine, which is 1 hour of rounds followed by 11 hours of waiting for something to happen. Every. Day.

So, I was happy to let loose this weekend. Friday night was champagne and hot tubbing. Saturday was spent hanging with my baby sistah who just had major surgery last week. Today was the first beach day of the year!! Woohoo! It was a beautiful day down in the OC. Newport was exceptionally crowded, and we didn't go to our secret getaway beach because traffic was horrendous. But I did get to spend several hours lounging by the surf.

This week is my last in IM -- next week I begin my psych rotation! Looking forward to that!

And on a last note: I finish medical school one year from tomorrow!! Yes, only 366 days left -- but who's counting???

It's freakin freezing here! I can't take it! Last night I was so cold, 4 of us were snuggled up in bed, along with a giant comforter and the heat cranked to 85, and I was still freezing. (Doesn't help that the boys have feet of doom and kick off the covers!) I warmed up a little with a 2 hour dip in a very hot hot tub, but when I cam back to my apartment a little while ago, the heat was off and I was back to being chilled to the bone.

Oh, it's probably 60 degrees out.

Yes, I am a pussy. So what?

A special note to my friends back in CT: I had a wonderful time celebrating with you all on Saturday night. That was so much fun - I really felt like I was there at the party. And... it made me miss you guys all the more. Deb promises to bring her laptop to all future parties when she flies back to CT for work so we can do that again!

And to Amy: Never give up. Never surrender. You're making outstanding progress! I am so proud of you and your strength. You're an inspiration! And... I am so gonna kick your butt when we have our triathlon. I'm down 14 lbs baby! OK, so I still can't run more than maybe 2 miles before needing a breathing treatment, but still. (OK, OK, you are SO going to kick my ass.)

Only 14 months left! It may seem like a long way off, but considering I've already logged 31 months of med school, it's seems really close!

Why am I thinking about graduation already? Because I've been spending the past few weeks putting together my 4th year rotations and investigating residency programs. I begin applying in June. It seems very surreal to me. This year has flown by. I've only got 3 rotations (12 weeks) left of my third year. It's crazy.

Starting in June, most of my clinical rotations will be in neurology and pediatrics. For example, Ive got rotations in pediatric emergency medicine, peds infectious disease, pediatric neurology, radiology and neurosurgery. (That's my very last rotation before I graduate -- going out in style!)

I end in mid-April and have 4 weeks off til graduation, and another 6 weeks until I begin my residency. During the off-time I will be in Tuscany, Italy and sailing in the Carribbean. After that, I wont see the light of day, or friends and family for a long time. My residency is a 5-year program. 2 peds, 3 neuro. All in all, when I finish, the process of becoming a doc will have taken me 14 years. And an ass-load of cash.

Sooooo worth it. I wouldn't give this up for the world!

Glad I could celebrate with you tonight!! (Even if t was pouring rain and we couldn't see the stupid eclipse and thus decided to just drink more sake instead while every person on the planet decided to call/txt us to tell us to look at the moon... And the sushi chefs didn't splay me open for bein' a playah. Just sayin.)

Honest to god. If what doens't kill us only makes us stronger then I should have one hell of an immune system.

I have been continuously fighting one virus or another since October, and I am so DONE with being ill. This weekend I got nailed with the flu again -- the Upper/Lower GI variety. The only good that came of it was a 3 lb weight loss, boosting my total loss to date (for the year) to -14lbs.

Schwing.

I still can't eat more than a few crackers and Gatorade -- 2 days later. And I start a new rotation tomorrow morning out in Long Beach. Long commute, long day, and not so good tummy. :(

The good news is I am moving to Claremont! Schwing!!! Got a great house with 4 bedrooms (enough for friends to visit and the kiddos to spread out their toys) and 2 full baths. A great backyard with lemon trees, orange trees, avocado trees, and white peach trees. Plus a chinese herb garden, veggie garden, and it's on a cul-de-sac NOT NEAR ANY FREEWAYS OR TRAINS. A huge coup if you live in San Gabriel valley.

Moving date is March 1.

Hopefully I won't have the Monkey Pox or some other dumb-ass virus (like Shingles, ahem, Peri.).

Just sayin.

Yes, it's that time! I am moving (again!)! 3 times in 3 years. 'cept this time it's into a great HOUSE. Thank god. I am so over this apartment/condo dwelling crap. Not that I spend much time at home anyway. Mostly at the hospital or elsewhere, but very rarely in my own home. I am looking forward to being able to go home and have a backyard, hot tub, fruit trees, and best of all, PRIVACY.

I am hoping that this is the last place I move into, until I move to the beach house when I graduate (and have a salary once again). Ahem.

I'll update everyone with my new address as soon as it's settled. Promise. Til then, no you still can't send me xmas cards. heh heh.

Yes, I promise to blog about my trip to Paris and South Africa very soon! And post photos! Seriously! I will.

I also have some GREAT conversations with my mother posts, along with the written version of the now famous "Aunt May" story as told to me by Nancy M. (Quite possibly the funniest story I have ever heard -- and can quite possibly cause me to become incontinent, as I seem to lose bladder control every time I hear it...)

But first, a request from my dear readers:
I used to send out a monthly email update, and have long since stopped due to lack of time. For friends and fmaily out there reading this, post a comment please and let me know if youre reading this site. I've had several requests to continue the email, but if I can keep it all on the blog, it would save everyone from lauraspam.

Thanks!

I know I registered to vote a few years ago when I got my California driver's license, but for the life of me I can't figure out why I haven't gotten any information on where I vote. Probably because I have moved since registering...

So I have been remiss in taking part of this Super Tuesday fiasco. So sue me.

I think I would have voted for Hillary, but was fairly undecided. I like Obama, too. But I have to honestly say I am very removed from what's happening in the world of politics. My priorities are few, but require most of my mental energy. I am trying to get into the spirit of the debate, but can't seem to muster more than a few ounces of energy to discuss it. Sad, I know. I just finished another 15 hour day, and have another tomorrow. Once home, I am working on my schedule for my 4th year, along with researching residency programs. When not doing that, it's sleep and maintaining some semblence of a normal life.

Excuses, excuses... yeah yeah. I know.

On Tuesday one of my oldest (more than 25 years) and dearest friends, Becky DiPanni, lost her year long battle with liver cancer. She was a true champion and a fighter 'til the end. I've been back in CT celebrating her life with old and dear friends, thanks to my wonderful residents who granted me 4 days off from my family medicine rotation so I could attend her funeral. Seeing everyone back here has been so bittersweet. Wonderful to see old faces and laugh with everyone through the tears.

I'm also back home to visit another very dear friend, Amy, who was tragically involved in a serious car accident 2 weeks ago that alsmot took her life. She is suffering from a traumatic brain injury and several fractures including her pelvis. She has been making good progress in her recovery, but has a very long road ahead of her. I'm confident she will improve -- she has a very strong spirit and will to live.

I'm sad that my stay here is so short, but elated to be able to be here for/to see my friends. I leave for LA tomorrow, but am sure I will be returning very soon to spend more time with everyone.

The BIG decision has been made: my residency will be in pediatric neurology. I will become board certified in peds and neuro, and consequently, psychiatry. (It's part of a dual cert with neuro.)

My other BIG decision... well, we still have to decide on that. Where, when... Depends on how the residency gods roll the dice and her job situation, and all relevant persons involved. Can I be more cryptic? Yes. If need be. Jeez. Most likely here in SoCal. Or Chicago. But only for a few years.

Finally, a heartfelt congrats to Peri, who is getting married this weekend up in the Bay area. I'm heading up to witness the act of madness! (Peri finally believed me when I said, "NO means No, Peri!")
And, god damn it, you beat me to it! So maybe I'm not the marrying type. But I guess that's the curse of being under 30 ... for NOW... You're just THAT much more naive! You're SO much more eager than I am to drag that ol' ball & chain around! (doh! ducking...)

Kidding! That said, congrats and best of luck to you! And my condolences to Chris! (Kidding again! :)

We love you Periwinkle Blue Life!

PS - what the fuck happened to JACK?!?!? I went into your room to print something and he was missing!

See you Saturday, my friend! And to everyone else: Stay tuned to the next year and 4 months -- it's going to get very interesting 'round here!

I did return from my extensive travels abroad. I've been rather busy since coming home 2 weeks ago, but promise to update this thing and add photos (well over 400) of my trips as soon as I can.

I can't believe I'm already half way through my surgery rotation. It's been great - but keeping me very, very busy. Ive already been on 30+ hr calls twice and work 6 - 6 most other days. But I still have the travel bug and am dying to go on vacation again! Currently I am planning a return trip to Hawaii, another sailing trip to the BVI, and 2 weeks at a villa in Tuscany for my graduation (which is only a mere 16 months away!). I get 4 wks vacation next year and then 6 weeks after graduation before residency starts. Might as well enjoy the time!

Alright, breakfast awaits. I'll get back to this thing later...

I'll be gone for a while... Paris, France; Johannesburg, South Africa; Cape Town, South Africa; Kailua-Kona, Hawaii; New York City/Fairfield, Connecticut. I promise I'll take lots of photos from my trip around the globe.

Be Back Dec. 23! Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! I'll be back just in time for Christmas - and just in time to start my surgery rotation.

Hey Peri: think you can hold off on getting married, having a kid, becoming a grandmother and lord knows what else until I return?? I don't want to miss a single episode of As the Sphincter Constricts...

Oh hell yes! Med school rocks! When else would I ever get opportunities like this!?!?

Hey Eric: 18 months til we're doctors!
(An' keep an eye on that crazy one, will ya.. she worries me a little.)

Interesting news report on some local shootings!

Reputed prison gangster killed

This is my watering hole! The local campus pub! Some of the best moments of my life were celebrated here... we would meet here after every exam to drown away our misery. Or to celebrate our successes! It essentially is right on campus, about 150 feet from where I spend most of my study time these days (when I am not on rotation) - in the lab.

Scary.

I have never known Characters to have a rough kind of crowd. Then again, when I am there, it's usually late afternoon, post exam, and with a bunch of med sudents or professors. The ugliest it ever got was a few toothless old men at 11am (hey, we had an EARLY exam that day) and a couple of meth heads eating burgers.

It won't stop me from going back there, though. Too many fond memories, even if it is quite a bit of a dive bar. But it's our dive bar, damn it! If it wasn't for Characters, there would be no common tree MONKEY. And no shiny purple vibrating things. And no birthday cake and bottles of scotch for Peri. And no endless bottles of Newcastle with Beth. And no endless bottles of Corona with Eric. And no cowgirls...

Stupid gangsters... why you gotta spoil a nice shithole like that!?

Forget what happens in Vegas stays here... Oh HELL no. It's being reported right here.

I came back to my hotel to work on some papers I need to hand in by Friday, and as I am sitting quietly at my desk contemplating the intricacies of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis I hear the following "dialogue" through the wall:

Her: Oh god.. oh god.. OH god.. OH GOD! OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD!!!
Him: Yeah baby, you can take it... take my big c*ck! That's it!
Her: Oh god.. oh god.. OH god, BEN! OH GOD! OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD!!!
Him: mmmm... that's right. Suck my HUGE dick. You can take it all.

Me: Are you FUCKING kidding me?!?!?! I'm trying to get some WORK done!

This went on for the next 40 minutes. At one point I was too nervous to leave my room for fear of running into the hosebeast in the hallway, only to find out he is probably a 2 foot 7-inch midget.

Well, to Ben in room 2268: I am not impressed with your stamina. The fuckers passed out and I haven't heard a peep or their door open/close since then. It's been about 6 hours. Unless, of course, he suffocated her with his unit.

With my luck, I'll be back here tomorrow with the CSI folks for some weird midget sex scandal death and it'll be Big Ben and his howling hoo-ah under the white sheets.

But I'm not jaded.

We're off at the crack o' dawn tomorrow for Arizona. Ash Fork, to be exact. Beth's sis is having a big ol' party on her 140 acre spread and there will be plenty of food, fire, booze and bullets.

Oh hell yes - their neighbor has his own shooting range. When you sit on that much property you can have whatever you damn well want. Tonight, I went out to the giant Outdoor Sports World or Bass Shops and stocked up on .45 and .22 ammo. Got a holster, too. I will be carrying my Kimber 45 on my hip since there are real threats of mountain lions in the area and my past experience with correctly IDing wildlife is pretty much a fucking joke. I once chased a coyote through Jack and Miki's yard because I thought it was a skinny puppy. Then there was the black bear on I-80 in PA that I mistook for a standard poodle. Besides, I really don't want my last words to be "here kitty kitty..."

Dr. Fucking Magoo.

Aside from the ammo, I also made another very important purchase - Beth's very first flannel shirt. Gonna make a butch woman outta her yet... (I have to balance out her recent purchase of very expensive yet hot Michael Kors boots - of which I have partial blame for their purchase.) And for the record, Deb bought yet ANOTHER tan/oatmeal/ash colored hunting-like shirt for the occasion. Brings her total number of butch shirts to 456,927,392.

I'm just sayin.

Tomorrow I am off for a day of discovery with the Las Vegas CSI team. The past 3 weeks I have been observing and assisting with some gruesome autopsies and frankly it's time to get the hell out of there! I am constantly amazed and disturbed with the bizarre and horrific ways people manage to kill themselves and others.

The autopsies on the kids really hurt the most, I must admit. Last week we had an abuse case - a beautiful 9 month old girl. Just heartbreaking. There was also a drowning of a little kid (he was 2) and an accidental shooting of a teenager. Tragic. Listen, if you have kids and guns, unload them, lock them up, and teach them to respect guns! Got a pool and an infant? This is not exactly rocket science -- put a fence around your damn pool. And if your spouse is too stupid/drunk to watch the kids: divorce.

Then there are the really bizarre love triangle, murder-suicide cases. I've seen several of those over the past few weeks. News flash: If you're going to leave your spouse for some other hot vixen/hosebeast and your soon-to-be-ex owns a gun, isn't emotionally/mentally stable, and threatens to kill you for months on end , LEAVE THE DAMN STATE and do NOT tell them where you live! Chances are he wasn't kidding. Besides, GSWs to the head are messy and sometimes you just don't die right away. (If you're lucky, you get shot through the brainstem and stop breathing immediately.) And your 5 year old kid may witness some horrific shit; kiddos just don't need to have those images burned into their heads for the rest of their lives.

Finally, what is so hard about CHEWING YOUR DAMN FOOD, PEOPLE?! In a weird twist of events, I've seen autopsies on 3 people this week alone who have choked to death. There is nothing worse than finding the remains of steak or a Big Mac in a dissected out esophagus and trachea. I mean for fuck's sake, those pickles were even chewed in the slightest. (I will never, ever eat McDonalds again.) And for the love of god, learn the Heimlich Maneuver.

(a special note to Peri: why didnt you warn me about the SMELL?!?!?! I now know I have a very reactive gag reflex. Good thing I don't eat breakfast...)

I'm off tomorrow for the next part of my adventure! I'll be spending the next 4 weeks working at the coroner's office in downtown Vegas learning everything I can about forensic pathology. I get to tag along with the CSI folks, too. Hey, if Peri and Wendy can do it, so can I! See Peri.. I blogged. Oh sure, not once the entire time you were here. But just to prove a point - here I is!

After LV I am off to South Africa - with a 3 day stop over in Paris. I'll be working at a museum in Johannesberg helping Beth with paleontology stuff (do NOT ask me to explain - she is wayyyy too smart for me, most of what she does is over my head and I'm essentially along for the ride). Then hopefully we'll head even further south to Cape Town for a few more days of R&R.

I'm back for a week and then off again to Hawaii for 8 days with the wife, and then to NYC/CT for 5. I expect I will have some time to blog while in Vegas, but after that - doubtful.

So stay tuned for my adventures in Vegas - I expect I'll have lots of interesting things to report.

I will also be reporting on my neurology rotation, which I just completed - but briefly, yes, I am completely hooked and now think I am narrowing my career down to pediatric neurology. It was an amazing experience and I got to work with some of the best docs in the country at one of the top rehab hospitals in the world. I've been invited back for more rotations! That's huge to me. So, naturally I will take them up on it next summer.

My first round of shelf exams are finished and, admittedly, they were more difficult than I expected. I feel I did well on Obstetrics and Gynecology, and as for Pediatrics ... I am still hoping for 1 standard deviation above the national average. I am gunning for honors in both. Yes, you read correctly - gunning. But the results won't be available for several weeks.

I was so emotionally drained from the past week that after dinner at Eric's last night, I came home and promptly passed out at the early hour of 10.45 and slept until 9.30 this morning. Two hours of cleaning and several cups of coffee later, I was overcome by the need for a 2.5 hour nap. It was pouring rain here in Southern California today -- and the sound of the rain beating down on my roof made me sleepy. Deb and I spent a good chunk of the afternoon lounging in the new Barnes & Noble, sipping latte and picking up a few books for reading pleasure -- yes, I can read for fun again! I have not been able to do that in years. Naturally, I picked up some light reading on neuroscience and brain medicine, as I begin my long-awaited neuro rotation on Monday. But I also picked up Alan Greenspan's latest The Age of Turbulence (you continue to inspire me, Elizabeth) and several Abbott & Costello dvds, less anyone think I am entirely too serious.

Student Doctor Peri has also moved in with us today. We celebrated with dinner at my favorite sushi place, Sho Gun. She shared her BIG news - to which we drank some sake, Kirin and scotch and bourbon.

Tomorrow I will be driving out to RLA to check out where I need to be on Monday morning. Can never be too prepared. I also need to pick up a few things for my pending move to Las Vegas and then my trip around the globe.

4 more weeks til Vegas, baby! 8 more til Paris and South Africa!
I am distracted and procrastinating right now. Obviously.
Been studying for my shelf exams all week and I am so tired I want to cry. I am not used to this intensity after 12 weeks of real work!

damn it... ok, back to work.

(yes, I miss the babies! My little peanuts!!! Mandi understands the madness... right?!?!)

No... I don't have a baby. (Yet. Sorry Peri, but it might just be inevitable -- and, as strange as this would sound to someone who has been populating the whole damn planet with her progeny, NOT YOURS! No means no, Peri. :) ) My little baby boy found a family and is off living what I hope will be a happy and healthy life. I was ecstatic for him.

(uhh... I can hear that collective sigh of relief from 3000 miles away, you know. Jeezus.)

Meanwhile, all that baby exposure has elevated my oxytocin levels which has had some strange effects on me - this past week I've been... ::gasp:: cooking! I guess I am exploring my inner domestic goddess side (or "inner bottom" - depends on what circles you run in). I've made dinner 5 out of the past 7 nights. I must say - they were all rather quite good if not damn tasty. (I haven't mastered meatballs like someone I know, but I will get there.)

If I start wearing pink or harping on what dress I should wear, kill me. (No B... there is NOTHING WRONG with pink. It looks faaaaabulous on you. But on me - yeah, that whole monkey fucking a football thing..)

Unless, of course, the dress matches my fez.

So Peri wants to know when I will have kids of my own...

Well, if the gods allow it (or the state of California), that may happen sooner than later. You see, recently I've grown quite attached to one of my patients. OK OK.. he's 6 days old, an orphan, drug-addicted thanks to mom (she had it rough), and has nowhere to go and has nothing of his own except for the tiny t-shirt and diapers that the hospital provides.

He doesn't even have a name.

It's utterly heartbreaking and gut-wrenching. I spend hours holding him each afternoon when my work is complete and then hand him off to someone else when I leave so he doesn't have to spend the nights sleeping alone in a cold crib.

I am trying in vain to help find a foster placement for him soon. I have vowed that if social services can't do that, I will become his foster parent. I really can't afford it - both time and financially, but I can't watch this little guy suffer another day.

Sadly - he's one of thousands.
Sigh.

Contrary to everything I ever imagined for myself as a possible career as a doctor, I am suddenly, strangely leaning towards Peds/neonatology. It either calls to your or it doesn't, and I've not felt a stronger pull. It's a bit overwhelming, unbearably frightening, yet intensely rewarding. And it just kills me a little every day...

2 weeks into pediatrics and I LOVE IT! The babies are amazing, and I am totally hooked on the kids. I've been working in the hospital outpatient clinic, and had some of the greatest attendings helping me out. On Monday I begin 2 weeks in the Newborn nursery/NICU. I can't wait.. Thanks to my Owen, I've become a baby fanatic.

Pathetic.

After the newborn nursery, I do 2 weeks in inpatient peds. Then off for a week while I take my shelf exams. Then I'll be driving to Downey, CA for 4 weeks (driving the 605 HELL) for IM/neurology. After that it's Vegas for a month, followed by Johannesberg, SA for a while, then Hawaii. Not sure how much blogging will occur, but I will certainly try.

In other news, Dr. Penman has returned to SoCal, and not without her fair share of outrageous stories to tell and major life changes and genetic experiments that I've come to expect from Peri.

Shortly (a few weeks) she's moving in and then will be taking over my pad, dog, cats for a few months while I traipse around the world. I need to stock up on scotch, porn, and stain-resistant plushy-wear, apparently. (Speaking of, Peri, you forgot your bunny head, riding crop and giant purple paws last night. I'm just sayin'..)

THAT should provide for some interesting blogging...

2 glorious years ago today I escaped the northeast and came to paradise. Ahhh... I do feel like I've been on the world's longest vacation, despite the long, hard hours of studying and work. The hundreds of intense hours I spent in the Prem Reddy classroom already seems like a thousand years ago, and Connecticut? Fuzzy in my mind.

I spent the weekend celebrating my 2nd anniversary as a California resident in much the same fashion that I have spent most weekends -- dare I say, partaking in "my usual routine" -- eating, drinking, and relaxing next to a large body of water. Yesterday after I got off a 13-hour overnight shift, I went straight over to Beth's and soon found myself lounging poolside, eating fabulous Italian fare and drinking wonderful glasses of Prosecco, blissfully passing the afternoon and evening away. Today, Deb and I headed off to my favorite spot in Newport Beach with my sis and Brother in law for the afternoon. I'm over the beaches in Malibu. Too crowded, to noisy, and too far of a drive. My heart now belongs to Crystal Cove.

Tonight will be an early night, as I have to be back at the hospital at 5.30am for another day on the OB/GYN ward. Friday night was insanely busy - I had patients to see in the ER, the ICU, the surgical ward, on top of delivering a few babies and scrubbing in for a c-section surgery. I don't think I sat down for more than 7 minutes total the entire night. I'm hoping tomorrow is just as busy - I like it when there's a ton going on and lots to do. I feel energized by the frenetic pace.

That said... must go wash my scrubs and get myself together.

Hours worked since Sunday: 60
Hours slept since Sunday: 20
I feel like I have been in coma for 2 days now, and I am on call tomorrow night in Labor & Delivery (delivering babies and scrubbing in for caeserian sections, D&Cs, etc.) for a 12+ hour shift from 5.30pm until 5.30am or later on Saturday morning. Off on Sunday and then back to work from 5.00 am Monday until who knows when.

Looking forward to starting my Pediatrics rotation, which begins a week from Monday. I'm liking OB/GYN ... but not sure if I love it. It is HARD work and the patient load is enormous. I have been asked by two attendings to come back to do another rotation in it, which in all probability means they may be trying to recruit me for a residency there. I am flattered, but still want/need to explore other options; for example, I still have to do a rotation in my first two choices, neuro and ER.

My rotation sched is as follows:
OB/GYN
Peds
Neurology
Forensic Pathology (Las Vegas)
South Africa, Hawaii (5 wk vacation!)
Surgery (beginning Xmas eve!)
Family Medicine
OMM
Internal Medicine I
Psychiatry
Internal Medicine II

I've just completed three weeks of a six-week rotation in Obstetrics and Gynecology. It's been a mixed bag of emotions for me. The rotation is pretty hard. There isn't much of an orientation and you are thrown into direct patient care on Day 1, Hour 2. We all showed up on the ward after having our ID photos taken and were essentially told "Go."

Uh.. go and do what?

"See patients."

Ummm.. OK.

At first, 2 or 3 of us would tag-team a patient -- we figured there is safety in numbers. But by lunch, I was working solo and by 3pm, I had done a handful of pap smears and pelvic exams with very little if any guidance. Initially, the residents walked all of us through doing our first real pap, but after that, we were on our own completely. 30+ paps later, I feel almost comfortable, dare I say confident, doing them. Some patients, however, are a little more challenging. Like those that tip the scales at 400lbs. Had 2 of those already. Wow.

Much of my day is spent working in the Women's Health Clinic, evaluating and diagnosing patients with gestational diabetes, ruling out and looking out for preeclampsia, doing postpartum wound checks and physical exams, antepartum exams including pelvics and paps, using dopplers to measure fetal heart tones, and ordering labs, ultrasounds, etc.

The part I am the least fond of is diagnosing STDs like chlamydia, gonorrhea, trich, or BV, and then breaking that news to the patient. I worry someone's boyfriend, husband, or partner is in for a nasty fight. A few patients have broken down right there in the room. The look on a young woman's face when she realizes or thinks someone hasn't been faithful, and that he not only got her pregnant, but gave her an STD as well -- that's tough. I do counsel them that they could have had chlamydia for years and very well could have been asymptomatic and it was only just discovered because we routinely test for it. I try to tell them that they, in fact, could have gotten it from a previous partner. It's still hard, though. It's a county hospital, and the women I see are young, poor, and have little education. Some of these women are still in their teens and already have 2 or 3 kids.

Ive had some great days, too. I had one patient encounter where I told her she was cancer-free and she burst into tears and hugged me so hard she almost ruptured my spleen. That was realy cool.. except for the spleen part. I also had 2 patients ask if I could be their personal doc. I had to explain to them that I have another 2 years to go... it was a great feeling, though.

The attendings have been great, too. I have been pimped quite a bit, but it's been rather benign so far. I mostly get the questions right, and if I don't know the answer, they are great at explaining it, and then telling you politely to go home that night and read up on it.

I am rather tired, as we do work hard - mostly mental work. The work week is Monday - Friday 7.30am until whenever we get done (usually by 6pm), and sometimes we have day call on weekends or overnights. Tomorrow (Sunday), I am on call in Labor and Delivery from 5.30am until 5.30pm, and next week I have a few overnight calls (5.30pm until 5.30am) in L&D. Yesterday, I scheduled one of my patients for an induction tomorrow, so I may get to deliver her baby if I am lucky and she goes into labor while I am there. Other days we work the wards, handling obstetrical emergencies, seeing post-c-section patients, and discharging the mothers and babies who are healthy enough to go home.

Like I said, it's been hard and I am tired. The first two weeks, I pretty much came home and crashed into a state of unconciousness on the couch, or went hottubbing and then crashed on the couch. My feet were KILLING me from being on them 12 hours a day, but I am now getting used to it. Buying the proper shoes helped, too. Days when you can wear scrubs all day is nice, because you are so much more comfortable. Mostly, it's professional dress. Actually, I think what I am finding the hardest about working so hard is being emotionally available at the end of the day, or just being available in general. My schedule is a little erratic, and making plans means being flexible. Everything is "tentative." I don't like that, and neither do some others, but I, as well as they, have to get used to it. After all, this is the life I chose.

I am happy with my decision, and working with the patients, while exceptionally difficult, is rewarding and reinforcing why exactly I chose to go into medicine. I am loving every foot-aching, heart-aching minute of it and wouldn't trade this for the world.

Just got my "award letter" from my friends over in financial aid... guess how much my tuition + expenses is this coming year?? Go on.. GUESS!

$69,541.

FOR 1 YEAR. That's an increase of $15,000 from last year.

So, in case you were wondering ... THAT'S why doctors charge you 6 million clams for an xray. We need to eat, too.

:::sigh:::

"You want fries with that?"

Fuck it.. I am going to bed before my own head falls off and I have to kick it down the hallway as it's screaming for help.

(jesus, i am not even making any sense anymore... Um, Beth?? Monkey needs chocolate now..)

Will somebody please just stab me in the eyes until I bleed and cry like the whiny little bitch I know I can be?!?!

You know what?? You Know What?!?! YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT?!?!?! I AM SICK OF STUDYING!!!!!! I HAVE FINALLY REACHED THE GOD DAMN END OF MY ROPE!!!!! I WANT TO BE A BARTENDER!!! I WANT TO SELL BAIT ON THE BEACH!!! I WANT TO BE A KEPT WOMAN!!!

Phew.. thanks.. just needed to vent. Feel much, much better. Back to cardio review.

(This meltdown has been brought to you by the letter Q, the number 6, and 427,972,315 cups of coffee. Oh, and the fine folks at Kaplan and NBOME.)

::: BEPPPP! .... BEPPPP! :::

In 48 hrs it will all be over with (I hope)! I am hitting the wall already. Studying for hours on end each day for 5 loooooooong weeks... I am lucky I have hair left. And a partner. And my sanity.

Soon enough I will be on a very brief vacation until I start delivering babies on June 25. I hear night call is 2-3 times per week. Sleep... is overrated.

So, until I am done with my board exam... radio silence. (yeah.. what else is new.)

PS - Peri... JACK IS ALL MINE NOW!!!! MWAHHH HAAAA HAAAAAAAAA!!

I am in board prep hell. Enough said.

6-8 hrs of torture daily. 100 practice Qs per day. Who has time to blog? OK, so I have spent some time goofing off... A girl's gotta play sometime.

Wish I had something interesting to tell...oh wait, I know: I will be doing my Forensic Pathology clerkship in Las Vegas this fall! Woohoo! I get to spend 5 weeks living in Sin City, pissing all my tuition money away on craps, cigars, and champagne! (Notice I did not say cheap women... because like santa claus and relaxed med students, they just don't exist.)

:::ducking:::

Truth be told, I will be working about 120 hrs a week, so won't have much time to indulge my vices. Perhaps I will get married while there... always wanted to do that.

In other news, I am a blonde. Again. Girlfriend wanted me beachy. several weeks ago I cut away the remaining blonde hairs that had adorned my head for the past year, and was once again a dark-haired, dark-eyed woman of mystery and intrigue. That lasted a month. It was all they (D and B) could take. Apparently, the "fuck you surfer hair" (as B so eloquently refers to it) suits me better. As such, this past Sunday, after D chopped away at my locks and cleaned me up, B strapped me down poolside, handed me some icy prosecco and a magazine, and bleached me back into my LA hair. Just in time for summer!

I like it.. they done good.

I'll post a pic soon. For now, it's back to extrapyramidal tract lesions.

MSIII BABY!!! That's right - III! 3 Three Tres Tre Trois. I am a third year med sudent!

Passed the ACLS - but almost not after Dr. Penman threw me under the god damn bus - and I didn't even see it coming! Thanks, Peri! Just wait and see what happens to Jack when you move in with me ... Good thing he's already riding the DED wave.

Our ACLS lady was mean, rotten and wanting Peri in the most unnatural way. The rest of us were mere baby docs who could barely change a diaper, let alone charge a defibrillator. But not Student Dr. Penman.... oh no. She could do NO wrong.

Kiss ASS Gay Hump.

;)

I AM DONE!!!!!!!!!!! Time to open the bubbly!!!

16 more hours... and I will be finished (and hopefully have passed) my ACLS training course!

Did I mention I was finished with med school coursework? I didn't? Really? WELL, I AM!!! Had my dermatology final last Thursday (A)pediatrics final on Monday (B+), handed in my geriatrics and clinical integration exams on Wednesday night (A, and A), and had all day ACLS (Advanced Cardiac Life Support) training on Thursday. Friday I went out for a looooooong ride on the motorcycle with Beth, and then came back home and celebrated with some orgasmic fish tacos and special lemonade (mmmm ...Taco Nazo (Senor Baja)). Today ... well, it's been nothing but cramming complex algorithms for vasopressor and anti-arrhythmic drugs, doses, and when to shock patients into my head for 12 hours. My exam is at 2pm tomorrow, and then it's back home to pop the bubbly (prosecco) and smoke some cigars by the fire with the g/f.

Alas, it's back to the grind on Monday-Wednesday: I have orientation for my clinical rotations: PPD tests, getting fit for masks, scrubs, etc. Rest of the week I will be back hitting the books and studying for the boards - which, by the way, is June 14. (Remember the MCAT??? This is worse. Times 10,000. Seriously, don't even speak to me until June 16... maybe 17th. I'm not kidding. If you thought I was Type A and uptight 3 years ago... you ain't seen nothin' yet.)

Oh Yes. There will be plenty of celebrating with friends, too. ALL WEEK LONG! There's a party or 10 just about every night this week, including the annual HUGE bonfire at the beach in Corona del Mar...

For those of you playing along back east (and those of you looking for a warning shot across the bow), I will be returning to CT/NY on June 18 for 3-4 days to visit friends and family. (N.B. I will be traveling alone, so for those of you who are disappointed in that, don't complain to me! Complain directly to her - I am not the one with the uber-important job...) I am coming back home to LA on the 21/22 because I begin my Obstetrics and Gyn rotation at the crack of dawn on June 25. Email me, call me, txt me - let's make plans now!

I had my dermatology final on Thursday -- did quite well and I am releived. The test was a ball breaker, and I was sweating it. With a possible few points "curve", I may end up with an A. (Class avg was 76 - this is a notoriously hard system.) I will say, though, if I see one more pustule, carbuncle, oozing vesicle or red ANYTHING on someone's skin anytime soon I will cry.

I may cry anyway...
I've got 1 day left of classes, and in the next 10 days I've got 2 OMT finals, a 5 hr comprehensive basic medical sciences exam (yes, everything we've learned in 2 years), pediatrics, geriatrics, and clinical integration exams, basic life support and advanced cardiac life support training and exams, and finally a clinical medicine exam where I have to see and diagnose 5 patients in 1 hour.

THEN, I am finished. Until the Boards.

So, I've got little time to blog until May 6, which is the day I am done. Hell, I've barely got time to sleep. Last night I actually passed out from exhaution at 11. I couldn't even think a complete thought. Was up at 7 and started the madness at 8. Sad.. I am already procrastinating...

Back to work. Wish me luck! In 2 short months, I will be treating real, sick patients every day for the rest of my life! (as long as they don't have an oozing rash ...)

Hey Peri, we're gonna be doctors!!!

On the tail end of Spring Break, and have not wasted a single moment. Been all over SoCal, including Malibu, Newport Beach x2, Hermosa Beach, PS, and chillin in the hot tub.

Classes begin again tomorrow, and so will the regularly scheduled blogging. Down to the final month of med school classes! 5 more exams and I am DONE! ('cept for boards...)

OK, back to relaxing. I've got 11 more hours left...

PS - as promised, here's the DO2009 crew at my 40th bday celebration!

Jesus. This was one of my longer hiatuses (hiati??) from the blogosphere. Mostly due to the constant ineptitude of my web host, with which I am too busy to fight.

That said, I am back and here to assuage any concerns or fears of my demise. On the contrary, I have been faring quite well, and assiduously making my way through the last weeks of med school didactics. It's hard to believe that I've only got 5 weeks left of classes! I've just completed the Gastrointestinal system and began Dermal this morning. I also finished on Friday a 1-week intensive course on cranial osteopathy. Interspersed within my coursework, I have been preparing for the USMLE and COMLEX boards, which I take in mid-June.

The big news, which at this point is old, is that I got my clinical rotation schedule for my MSIII year. (yes, in 5 short weeks I will be an MSIII!!) MY first 6 week rotation is in Obstetrics and Gynecology, followed by 6 weeks in Pediatrics, and then Neurology! I am sure I will get around to posting my rotation schedule shortly - but the main point is that I will, once again, not be back east for the holidays (they seem so far away) as I begin my surgical rotation on Christmas eve. ::sigh::

Well, I knew this would be brief - I'm taking a few hours off from board review to watch Casino Royale with the g/f.

Be back soon with more updates - promise!

I'll admit, I have tolerated some aberrant, deviant behavior from some of my friends. And I have let it go - just ignored it without breathing a word of my disgust. I have remained nonjudgmental in the face of such bizarre oddities and fetishes that one might question my own judgment.

Well, I have reached the end of my rope with one of my closest, dearest friends. I can no longer remain silent on an issue that is so close to my heart. It is time for a public intervention.

Beth, you know you mean the world to me. But we need to talk about something. Openly and honestly. Now, you know I have forgiven you for transgressions such as being a geeky bookworm, being on the debate team in high school, and the very tragic morning announcements girl. I said nothing when you told me about your very active participation in numerous choirs, your lack of athletic endeavors, your midwest upbringing, and the fact that you have never seen Saturday Night Fever or own a single Donna Summer mp3.

However, I can no longer remain silent about one issue in particular.

I was stunned... stunned and deeply disturbed to learn that you were a ... [GASP!] a... mime. Dear god, there, I've said it. Yes, a mime. A horrible, sinister black and white clown!

To think! I have trusted you with making decisions about my career as a physician! All this time I thought you were this amazingly brilliant professor -- so together, so professional -- and then your dark side seeped through. Who knew your deepest desire was nothing more that to pull on a rope that doesn't even exist!

Oh the tragedy, the shame of it all. My heart weeps for your future, and the future of our friendship. Please... please. Tell me you have given up this loathsome hobby and will never paint your face white again! Convince me that you'll find a cure for such an insidious case of mimingitis! Prove to me that you will never, ever, bastardize the sacred all black outfit again!

Please. For the sake of the boys... you can't let them grow up in a home where invisible walls appear out of thin air. I just can't bare the thought of little Owen trapped in a box for eternity.

Say it with me, Beth: No More Monochrome. I have faith in you...

One last thing: Conversations with my advisor is SO my next column.
Ha.

I love my nephew, Owen (better known as Mini Dude)! Who knew I would become such a sap? (Oh, shut up.)

Now that I have your attention... This just in:

Save the date: February 10th, 2007. I will be making my "acting" debut in Western University's production of The Vagina Monologues.

Yes, me. On stage. Possibly in a... [gasp] dress!(Oh shut up.) How, you may wonder, did I get roped into this? I actually *offered* to do it. Trying to expand my horizons, leave my comfort zone, try new things and all that. Besides, it's not like I don't have enough to do with school, boards coming up, new babies to obsess over. I have pleeeennnnnty of time to practice talking about my vagina to my entire university, friends and family.

OK.. now I need to go lie down. I feel faint.

More to come... please stand by.

Owen, born Monday, January 15, at 5.32pm. 7lbs 2oz.
He's unbelievable! One of the greatest experiences of my life was being there for his birth. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, Beth, Stuart, and Owen! I love you all!

Congratulations, Eric & Nicole!!!

Ryann Elizabeth was born at home at 1.20am on Friday, Jan. 12, 2007. I got to meet her a short time later, at 3am - she was eating. I knew immediately she was Eric's kid.

Both mother and baby (and dad, who delivered her!) are all doing fine.

I am back from my travels and well aware this blog is woefully outdated - what else is new. Hey, I have been out of the country for a while, and hence, otherwise occupied. But I promise to provide details, pics, etc. etc. in the coming hours.

I am already back in school for my last didactic semester - fully engaged in sex... uality and human reproduction. I am also planning a baby shower for a certain someone, and trying to learn everything I can about delivering a baby... for the obvious reasons. Rumor has it, I may become an OB/GYN.

Then again I may become a psychiatrist if crazy talk like that keeps up. (That very well may happen anyway ... I am considering dual board certs... one being psychiatry, and the other internal med/neuro..)

Right now, I should be sleeping, but 2 of my closest and best friends are about to each give birth, and I am so torqued up and anxious (a good anxious) I can barely sleep.

Not even Bayla's (Peri's wonderful mom) rum ball cookies can knock me out. (PBlue, please please please drag my big ol' white butt to LA Fitness manana - I need to work off some of this nervous energy... and some of that spicy tuna roll, too.)

Oh hell... I need another cookie.

PS - Marc... I love you, man. Really, I do. You're awesome... I'd marry you myself if I was into dudes. ;) Hang in there, bro. We'll chat soon!

Me and my parents, New Year's Eve

A picture of Peri, last week, at, uh, church:

And 1 to go!! One more final exam - Thursday! And only 2 more days of classes left! Then I am on holiday and parking my ass on a beach for a week.

I've got a whopping 18 days off until my last didactic semester --EVER -- and you have no idea how happy this makes me. After 12 years of grade/high school, 5 years of college, 4 years of graduate school, 5 of pre-med, and 2 of med school, (THAT'S 28 GOD DAMNED YEARS SITTING IN BIOMECHANICALLY DISADVANTAGEOUS SEATS -- HALF OF THEM WHILE ENDURING BEING SMACKED ACROSS THE KNUCKLES WITH A RULER BY A CRAZY WOMAN IN A PENGUIN SUIT (No, Peri, that's not hot... not even remotely) I will never have to sit my big ol' pasty white ass in a classroom AGAIN. Oh sure, I'll be studying for the rest of my natural born life... but NO MORE SCHOOL.

Until, of course, I start my PhD and JD programs. But that's soooo... 5 years from now. ;)

(Just kidding honey! :::ducking:::)

And on a private note: Dizzle... you had better be quick on your feet! If I see you in that hallway tomorrow, you are SO in trouble.

Sexy drink, my ass. You hurt me!

Beth just asked me if I would drive up to the mountains and fill up the truck with snow so she could put it all around her pool and hot tub for a snowball fight she wants us all to have on Christmas Day. She is so funny!

Snow. Me. As if. Clearly she does not understand the seriousness of my pathology.

I think I will twitch at the sight of it for eternity ... (Seriously, it is a cool idea. I may just do it ...)

Meanwhile, Deb is off buying our Xmas tree - I am thinking of hanging assorted medical equipment and empty pill bottles as ornaments. Nothing says Happy Holidays like colorful lights, tinsel, and latex gloves. We can even top the tree with a Foley catheter.

Ooooh... the possibilities are endless!

That said, I'll leave you with this Christmas nugget:
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. " In honour of this season" Saint Peter said "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."
Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "These are Carols."

And So The Holiday Season Begins....

Four exams in next 2 weeks; 2 this coming Monday. I. Am. Fucking. Busy.

I am also stressed, tired, sleep deprived, and, not surprisingly SICK with this damn virus everyone has. Stupid rhinovirus. I will say, this is the first time I have been really sick since I started med school. I have had a minor cold or two, but nothing else. Now, I have this insidious viral demon that is most likely attenuating and reinfecting my pathetic, immune-depressed ass every 15 minutes. Or, rather, upper respiratory tract. Said ass is, thankfully, virus-free. (TMI...)

This weekend, I remembered it was the holiday season - someone here in San Dimas had lights on their house. The 80 degree weather we're being spoiled with has thrown off my sense of seasonal timing. The nice thing is, I don't have much to do in the way of Xmas shopping, so I am rather unperturbed about the holidays. I will also be on VACATION in 3 weeks, and the thought of that small break in the intensity and insanity is what is getting me through this week of hell.

After Monday, I will post pics from the bday party, which was a great success and a lot of fun. I should also do some catch-up blogging next week, too. Lots of stuff to report on...

And now back to our regularly scheduled radio silence and the ever fascinating endocrine system...

Hell Exams are over (until Dec. 11, when I have 2 more) and I did well, and thus it has been a constant celebration since Tuesday night.

The Western Univ. GLBT club had an end of semester BBQ/pool/hot tub party at Beth's that evening, which was a most titillating experience. Even though it was a club function, I was celebrating getting through the exam with brain cells left intact, and inching that much closer to 40.

The fun had actually started earlier that day, as B whisked me off in her BWM to get a pre-birthday manicure and pedicure as part of a week-long 40th bday celebration extravaganza.

Yesterday, I blew off the morning classes, and spent the entire day blissfully lounging poolside or in the hot tub, sipping some bubbly stuff, back at Casa Rega, and enjoyed being spoiled.

Today we had a few morning classes, but that was followed by drinks with the boys at Characters (local campus watering hole). Tonight I am attempting to be a med student for a few hours and am actually going to study. Tomorrow I will be at the beach with Deb, spoilng myself, and pretending I am 21 again.

Saturday is the big soiree here ... and so much needs to be done before then, I can't even think about it.

Honestly, I thought I was going to go into 40 kicking and screaming, but as it turns out... it ain't so bad. And my wonderful friends here at school are making this transition into senility that much easier.

This morning I woke up to a blissully unfamiliar sound - raindrops bouncing off the roof and dripping on the leaves outside my bedroom.

"It's raining?" I yawned to Deb. "Hmmph." About 3 seconds later it occurred to me: I Don't Care.

Well... not really.

I would have to say that I am about 85% unaffected and unconcerned by the gray skies and wet sidewalks. Didn't think I would get here emotionally that fast.

As soon as I slithered out of bed, I took Cody out for a walk. She immediately looked up at the sky, then at me as if to say "What the hell is this crap??"

She hasn't seen rain in a while, either.

Kind of a nice feeling - the absence of rain. I have not missed it - but seeing it no longer makes me so hostile and depressed. (Yes, I know - thank god!)

Never really realized how much seasonal affective disorder affected me until I acclimated to the weather here. No wonder I was a bitch 3/4 of the year when I lived back east.

Deb was back in CT for Thanksgiving, and came back to California with the report that the weather was lousy. I teased her that I found that hard to believe. (She misses CT a lot, so I try to refrain from gloating about the perfect weather here ... hourly.)

Yep, it's raining. And I am trapped inside studying for the exam from Hell I will take tomorrow morning. I was hoping to sit out on the deck to review my notes and try to not stress so much about it. But, the wet stuff is still coming down. Harder now.

No worries -- I am certain the sun will be out in a few minutes (NOT DAYS - MINUTES), and all will be well once again.

5 exams in the next 3 weeks. Need I say more?

I finish on 22 December. Will be at the beach for Xmas, then on a cruise to paradise where I can scuba dive and ogle breasteses 'til my heart's content.

Until then, I am in hell.

And, not that I have forgotten:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!!!! You old coot!! You're almost as old as I am... which, actually, I don't want to think about. I still have 5 days left of my 30s, and want to enjoy them.

::vomit::

Oh, I have BIG plans on how I will spend the next few days as I sidle up to the big 4-0. (After my ginormous respiratory final on Tuesday morning, of course). Mostly, it will be with friends, in a hot tub, or on a beach, or all of the above simultaneously. Yeah, baby. Yeah.

I plan to be pain free and relaxed. For a good 5 days.

Damn it... back to COPD.

Oh holy hell, I have a lot of catching up to do here, don’t I.

Ah yes… New York … it was fabulous and went by way too fast!! We stayed at Club Quarters on Wall St. which is an amazing hotel for New York University alumni. Top class stuff here. Great (but small) rooms, with top of the line amenities. Expensive drinks at the hotel bar, though! ($25 for a double Glenlivet! That hurts when you’re on a med student budget!)
Our first night there was virtually nonexistent, as we actually arrived very late (1am) thanks to a 6-hour delay in Los Angeles. Stupid broken planes. Our first full day was Sunday – and we spent that hanging out with the divine Miss Anne and her better half, MA. Brunch and bellinis at AOC in the West Village was followed by a trip back up to Anne’s awesome apartment, and then back down to the Village for late afternoon drinks in an old haunt. We had fun catching up, and mixing silos.
Sunday night Beth and I joined my parents at the River Café for dinner – we had a spectacular view of the city and the Brooklyn Bridge on a rare beautiful, warm November evening.
Monday was back to business -- we spent the day at the conference at NYU, and then a late night dinner back up in the village. Jet lag was starting to kick in, so we called it a night about midnight.
Tuesday morning, I trekked out to Brooklyn to see my grandmothers, while Beth went about her paleo conference business. We hooked up in the evening for a wonderful dinner at Da Nico’s in Little Italy, and then grabbed a cab and headed off to Lincoln Center to see Tosca. God, how I missed going to the opera. As expected, it was fantastic.
Wednesday, we returned home, and I made it back to LA in time to make my last 2 classes of the day – yes, I am that anal compulsive. I actually went to school!

And pretty much since then I have been studying my ass off for the litany of exams we have had – 1 last week, 2 this week, and another next week! Since we are nearing the end of the semester (one month), we are in the middle of finals for some of our courses, and I can now say I am experiencing the infamous sleep-deprved med student syndrome I have been fortunate enough to avoid until now. I don’t think I have managed to string together more than 4-5 hours of sleep in a row since returning. And it’s not about to let up.

My parents are in town now for the holiday, so it’s really crunch time. And… I still have that big party to plan for next week… ulp. That said, I am off to study.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

I am back from NYC - we had an amazing time, and I promise to update everyone on what we did, who we saw (Ms. 4-Bellini Annie and her wife), and where we went (everywhere!). But I have another repiratory exam on Monday and need to get all these cancers, drugs, COPD pathophys and treatment strategies stuffed into my cranium.

Off to NYC for the next 5 days - planning to show madame the best of NY oh and attend some paleopathology lecture, too. Afterall, that is the point.

What's in store? The highlights include Sunday brunch with Anne and MA in the village (god, I miss Sunday brunches in the city), dinner at the River Cafe under the Brooklyn Bridge, a morning with my grandmothers, and then off to the Met to see Tosca. I haven't been to the opera since before I left a year and a half (almost) ago - and I cnat wait! We'll probably do some shopping (sigh... I miss Tiffany), and then at some point I need to STUDY. NYU library will most likely where I will be parked.

Have a great weekend, all!

It is entirely conceivable that my head is going to explode in the next 48 hours.

Respiratory Exam 1 on Monday am, and my ADD is at an all-time high. I think it's time for a med readjustment. Seriously. Stupid drugs. I wish I could take Ritalin ... it would make my life so much easier. But, I can't.

Things that should take me 2 hours have been taking 5. Not fun. Have I mentioned how NOT fun being disabled in Med School is?

Dear god, I need to go to bed.

Hey Dr. Wooleybugger? What the hell happened after I left Heroes? Hmmmmmm? "Oh oh, please let me examine your poor, poor achy shoulder! After all, I am an osteopathic God!"

::vomit::

Heh - you so owe me right now.

It's not all fun and games and wild parties in Las Vegas. Med school actually has me working about 80+ hours a week. You all only get to hear about the days when we blow off steam -- otherwise, how boring would it be to hear about my mundane existence? (It's actually not boring at all...)

A typical day for me begins at 6.45am... when I drink my first and ONLY cup of coffee. A quick shower, and I am out the door for an 8am class. Usually, I am in class from 8-noon, and then a 1 hour lunch break. From 1-4 are more classes, and then it's time for study group. We meet a few times a week to go over the day's lecture material, quiz each other, and practice our OMM techniques. Dinner at 7 is quick, because I am eager to get ready for the next day, which means 4-5 hours of reading, note taking, memorizing, etc. I aim to be in bed by midnight most nights - sometimes I push until about 1am. On weekends, my studying can be anywhere from 8-15 hours a day, depending on how much material needs to be covered and if I have an exam coming up. I do take breaks - I go to dinner with friends, we go down to the beach for the afternoon to chill out, etc. But for the most part, it's lots of hard work, very intense focus, and these days, I get little sleep.

I wish I could be more explicit, but time to blog daily is a rare commodity. I wish I could even add a live web cam - but talk about boring... What I can offer instead is this: here's a great documentary video of MY CLASS, Western University's DO Class of 2009, which aired on PBS last spring. It follows the day in the life of one of my classmates, Mahsa. Most of the footage was taken in our actual classes, on a typical day. If you watch carefully, you may see me somewhere! (Dr. Peri is seen walking with Mahsa, the star of the video to class..)

I hope you enjoy it - PBS did a great job of describing a day in the life...

On Oct. 11, National Coming Out Day, the Western University GLBT club, Lambda & Friends, handed out over 500 free t-shirts to students and faculty who came out as allies of gays and lesbians. The t-shirts, which read "Gay? Fine by me.", were purchased from the Fine By Me organization as part of a nationwide community building and awareness program for GLBT students. Lambda raised well over $2500 in donations from the students, faculty and administation, which allowed us to pay for the shirts. We were stunned by the level of support we got from so many people who came out that day as allies! The 500 t-shirts we ordered were gone in 2 hours. It's a great feeling to be a part of a university that is so open and affirming of its GLBT health care professions students.

We took a few large group photos, which I have added below.

Here are my friends and fellow members of my class, DO 2009, in our OMT classroom:

Here is the group shot, which included students from COMP (med school), the veterinarian school, pharmacy, allied health (PAs and nursing), and some of the administration/faculty - only a handful of those who wore their t-shirts on National Coming Out day.

[Photos courtesy of my fellow sexy Lambda officers, Dizzle and Kristen!! Thanks, ladies!]

Finally! I am back! After a month in the dark, thanks to the fucksticks at my hosting company, who emailed me my new server info to the WRONG DAMN email 3 DAMN times, and for not returning a single phone call. Today was the first day in weeks I have had more than five minutes to call them up and bark at them for their gross ineptitude. Part of the issue is that they operate M-F, 9-7pm EST, and I am west coast, and usually in class until 4. They have no tech support on weekends… so you can see where this is going.

In any event, I am not dead, and back online. In the month since my last post, I have been quite busy – probably so much so that my blog posts would have been few and far between anyway. I started – and finished – the Renal system over the last month. Everything you ever wanted to know about kidneys, bladders, urethras, penises, and things people shove up them for the sake of a good time. Oh yes – we learned all about the fine practice of inserting ribbon snakes, pencils, jelly beans, etc. up your urethra in order to get off. We also learned how to REMOVE them (as painful as the insertion itself – especially the snake thing.)

Speaking of a pain in the ass, last week was especially painful for me– we had 3 exams in 7 days – which meant 10 days of sleep deprivation (I averaged about 5 hours a night). My renal final was this past Monday morning, and by Monday evening I was in Las Vegas for the AOA convention. I returned last night – just in time to prep for a full day of courses in the Respiratory system, which began at 8am.

So Vegas… not to sound cliché but, I do understand why they say what happens there, stays there. I definitely fall into that category. Wow. I shall not name names, incidents, locations. I plead the 5th. Something about that town does weird things to people – myself included. I actually did make it to the conference, and saw some great talks. The crew and I also saw the sights, and got to hang out with all the other med students in the clubs and hot spots. Tuesday evening, after Beth’s big reception, we all went to Pure – we had scored VIP passes for being hot little docs, and slithered in ahead of the scores of posers waiting in line. Wednesday night Eric, Peri, Deb and I went to see some crazy S&M strip show that involved vampires and acrobats – way cool. We then had drinks at 1am at the Top of the World at the Stratosphere. I ate a ton of great food, imbibed some of the finest beverages, saw lots of naked beautiful women, and returned to LA a better person for it. (Well, not really …)

And the fun isn't ove yet! As I mentioned earlier, Beth and I will be heading out to NYC from Nov. 4-7, but will only be staying in NYC. I won’t have much time to travel to CT, as we have a full schedule. But if anyone is in the NYC area, please call me! Evening drinks are always encouraged!

Finally, want to see my big Hollywood debut? (OK, so it's a Western University production..) Go to www.westernu.edu and click on the lower left corner where it says Tribute. Or click here and watch...

Off to bed now – tomorrow is a fun filled morning of dim sum with the crew in Pasadena, followed by a day at the beach.

• Cardiology final exam on Monday - scored a B for the class! Woohoo! (It is notoriouly the hardest course of the year)
• We hosted a wine and cheese party here on Wednesday to celebrate the end of cardiovascular system - had about 20 friends over until the wee hours. Awesome time!
• Started the Renal System on Tuesday afternoon, which is heavy on the acid-base chemistry aspect of kidney functioning. So, I have also been studying a lot. Eager to not get behind (which we always are), we started our group study sessions for this section yesterday afternoon. A study group on a Friday afternoon after a long week meant a 4-hour chips, beer, sangria and hors d'ouevres eating festival, followed by a 45-minute "let's take each others blood pressure" session, which lead to the realization we are all hypertensive, except Peri, which then lead to realization that we need to relax and laugh more or we will certainly die, so we spent the rest of the afternoon listening to the Jerky Boys, Lisa Lampanelli and Wanda Sykes. Effective.
• Playing doctor and seeing patients - speaking of which, tune in from home to watch the Angels baseball game. I will be working there (as a student doctor) taking care of injured/sick fans, players, etc.
• Last night, after the previously mentioned study session, I was at musical gig/party at Beth's. Pizza, beer, wine, hot tub, giant fire in the fire pit and live music. I'll say no more.
• Acting in a video production my class is making for the current 1st year class - it's a tradition to make a "mockumentary" of the new kids at school.
• This afternoon, I am heading to the LA County Fair with Deb, Karen, Pete and some friends.
• Planning my trip ... to NYC! Yes, I am going back east (in a month) for a weekend - it will be "business" as I am going to a paleopathology conference. I'll talk more on this soon.

Ahhh med school. Thus far, it has been the best 14 months of my life, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Despite my very noticeble absence from this space the past week due to my being ass deep in cardiology (final exam this Monday!), med school definitely has its fun moments that make you wish it would last forever.

Even though we sit in a stuffy lecture hall for 8 hours a day, listening to crotchety old profs pontificate on obscure facts and diseases, we manage to have a good time.

Sometimes too much fun.

Today, it was tough getting through a long talk on health promotion and disease prevention, so we tormented each other with IMs and ... this:

Meet Ben and Mandi -- two friends and classmates of mine -- who had reached the end of their attention span by 10.30, and decided to embarass each other. (I might add they are married to each other.) They are awesome - and made me laugh so hard, coffee came out my nose.

And for a prime example of the IM dialogues that fly around during REALLY boring lectures, I invite you to peruse my pal Peri's blog (www.myspace.com/periblue). Check out her recent conversation with my bud Robin for some insightful tips on better ... ummm... well, go see for yourself.

The latest news on the Touro scandal (see below) is that the university reversed its decision due to pressure and has agreed to allow the group to remain an official university club.

Nice to see they came to their senses. I am going to San Francisco this weekend and was thinking I was going to have to slap some people around up there. It's nice to know I can vacation without having to be a vigilante this weekend.

And that just made me think... how cool is it that I get to DRIVE to San Francisco for a long weekend?!?! :::big grin::: I love that everything is within driving distance.

OK, back to my happy little study cocoon. Congestive Heart Failure meds await ...

Gosh, I have so much to blog about, but honestly, I am drained from the day. It was a long exam (I did fine), followed by a long afternoon of clinical medicine class. Then drinks with the gang, and dinner.

I am exhausted. On top of studying all weekend, I was also sick with some stupid respiratory virus. And I slept horribly last night. I also woke up ealy, remembering what day it was, and it didn't exactly help my groggy head. I wish I didn't have an exam today - there would have been other ways I would have preferred to spend the 5 yr anniversary.

There actually was a Sept. 11 memorial at my school, but I missed it for 2 reasons: 1, I was still in my exam for the first half of it, and 2) they turned it into a religious ceremony. Leaders from the different religious clubs on campus spoke and prayed.

::sigh::

I remember Sept. 11 like it was yesterday. It's still very much an open wound. And because of that, I refrained from watching any news about it this week, because I don't care to live through it again. I won't ever forget, and I don't need a bible or a man in a dress and big pointy hat to help me remember.

And speaking of religious intolerance: Touro University (another medical school) in northern California, last week removed the charter from their GLBT club, and kicked the club "off campus" stating Jewish law and heritage as the reason. [press release here]

I could rant on and on about this... but instead, I am bringing awareness to the issue by posting the press release. Western's GLBT club will be meeting this week to see how we want to address the issue - whether it's writing letters to Touro Admin, raising money for our sister DO school's GLBT students, or joining them in protest - it has yet to be decided. Stay tuned for that ...

On a personal note to Touro administration: I was accepted to your school last year, and politely declined. It's nice to know I made the right decision to go to an accepting and affirming university that openly supports gays and lesbians. At our GLBT dinner 2 weeks ago, we had 35 people come out to support us - MOST of whom were not gay.

To openly discriminate against people who are devoting their lives to serving others is beyond hypocritical. It's pathetic and reprehensible.

And there is no place for it in medicine.

Every now and then, they sneak up on me. Like some crazy little startle response offered by the unconcious mind. I almost want to call it ... a mind tickle.

It sometimes happens when I am sitting quietly in my office, late at night, with just my dim desk lamp offering a few rays of light as I pour over the hundreds of drugs for arrythmias, angina, or CAD. Sometimes they find me in bed, as I lay there late at night ... or dare I say in the earliest of hours, with my eyes closed, stroking the puppy's head while trying to quiet my own mind from the flood of minutiae I just finished pouring into whatever empty brain space I could find. And sometimes they find me when I get pimped by one of my friends and I actually know the answer.

"Ummm.. Second Degree, Winchebach/Type 1 AV Block! Really?! That's it? COOL!"

And just a few moments ago, it happened again as I walked into my office to grab my stethoscope.

It may sound corny, but it's true - every once in a while I still have one of those "Oh. My. God. I am going to be a doctor" moments.

And then I get that familiar chill down my spine. The good kind that causes some kind of sympathetic adrenaline rush. And then I smile. And then, I panic just a little ... because I know how far away I am from being even remotely good enough for someone to trust me enough to let me hold their beating heart, and life, in my hands.

And back to the books I go as I realize my second Cardiology exam is tomorrow morning at 9am. How's that for a dose of reality?

Maybe it's because I have been watching the Yankees a lot... and maybe it's because my path prof this week had a thick NY accent ... and maybe its because 9/11 is on my mind. In any event, I miss my city.

Lucky for me, I got my list of rotation sites for my 3rd and 4th year clinical rotations, and sure enough, NYU Medical Center is right there on da list! And that's exactly where I am planning to do a neuro/surgical rotation. Followed by my psych rotation at Albert Einstein (or Bellevue, if I get my way).

Now don't get your panties all in a bunch -- I can't do that until 4th year - summer 2008. Besides, I dont intend to stay forever - just enough to get my fill of dirty water hot dogs, a few games, bad traffic, and family angst. (about 8 weeks)

And ... that may actually be the next time I am back east... unless a certain someone I know wants to take me on their trip to NYC in November to look at stuff. (hint hint)

Well, the test results are back. And I can sum it up in 2 words: surgical consult.

The tests were inconclusive (stupid tests) - and showed very little (neither good nor bad). So, my doc has advised me to go next week to meet with a surgeon for a consult and then schedule a date with him and his knife. Woo. hoo.

I guess he has to cut this thing out of me and then poke at it with shiny sticks (oooh... shiny) to see if it bites back. (In other words, yank out the fucker, and send it to the lab.) Fortunately, it's not really close to my lymph nodes. I am also noticing a hormonal trend with pain and tenderness. All signs pointing away from malignancy. But I am NOT a doctor YET, so I don't fucking know what to think.

I am not scared (seriously) - I am feeling very inconvenienced. How dare my body decide to go to hell with itself when I have more important things to do! This will really cut into my motorboating activities for a while ...

:::sigh:::

Stupid medicine.

And in other news, I have another cardio exam Monday, so I will be laying low for the next few days. SEND CHOCOLATE!

See what cardiology does to you??? Just look at these 4 raving lunatics. They are clearly certifiable.

But, you know what?? They are MY lunatics, and I love 'em!

Left to right: Eric, Michael, Peri, Arriel

When I Should Have Been Studying...

Well, OK, I was rewarding myself for surviving a long, arduous week. Besides, I can't turn down my advisor - when she says I need to relax, I listen.

Seated left to right: FOB, Beth, Me, Deb (in back) Peri, Marc.

Me, chillin ...

Darwin

I scored a 53 or so ... I think. (See item #90)

The following scale has designed to test if you have spent
too much time in medical school and whether you are having
adverse side effects due to prolonged exposure.
Score one point for each statement that applies to you.

1 You have ever said "Netter is god". DING!
2 You can discuss autopsy/ anatomy over a meal. DING!
3 You own a 4 color pen, it just isn't enough colors for you. I own a multicolored pen pack ... DING!
4 You use more than one color to take notes. DING!
5 You have use up more than 6 highlighters in the past 6 months DING!
6 you have ever highlighted something YOU wrote DING!
7 you retype handouts given in class
8 you haven't had a date in 3 months -- Had several, thank you!
9 you haven't had a date since entering med school
10 you have not been able to remember the normal term for
something because you were thinking of the medical term (ie
reflux for heartburn) DING!
11 You get more sleep in lecture than at home
12 You know the correct spelling for pruritus DING!
13 - you also know what it means DING!
14 You have ever asked a question in class - The prof. didn't understand the question you didn't believe the answer the prof. gave DING!
15 - you went to look it up to see if they were right DING!
16 You can't hold a conversation on anything other than med
school DING!DING!DING! - wait, we did talk about the joys of food once yesterday, and about pregancy... Does that count?
17 You skip class to study DING!
18 You've said you didn't do well on a test on which you beat the mean If I pass with a B or higher, I did well.
19 You spend more than 15 hrs a week on e-mail
20 You have a callous on you finger from writing DING!
21 More than one professor knows you by name Does it count that I hang out with several of them?? DING DING DING!
22 When you ask a question, a new professor has said "Oh, I've
heard of you" DING!DING!
23 You can name more amino acids than past presidents DING!
24 You use more than 5 acronyms an hour when talking DING!
25 you actually know what PERRLA stands forDING!
26 You know all the steps of the TCA cycle DING!
27 You do not read PTA as parent teachers association DING!
28 You can remember the muscles in the forearm DING!
29 You know the strucures in the urea cycle DING!
30 You know the dermatome distribution DING!
31 You can't remember what you had for breakfast
32 You can't spell world, much less backwards
33 You've ever been sexually aroused by the breast shadow on an X ray
34 You equate "morning stiffness" with Rhematoid Arthritis DING!
35 You actually know normal values for plasma Na -K DING!
36 Missing class causes you extreme stressDING!DING!DING!
37 You have seriously asked someone "So how does that make you feel?" DING!
38 You have asked will this be on the exam-Just after the prof. said it wouldn't FUCKING 22 YEAR OLDS!
39 You identify with Deb on E.R. WHO?
40 You have made a medical joke -no one laughed -You figure they just weren't that far in their studying
41 You wear your stethescope around your neck on the bus - you don't even know which way the thing goes in your ears
41 "SOB" means short of breath to you DING!
42 You have gone to student health with suspicion of a disease
you have studied - within 3 days of the lecture DING!
43 You have answered a question in class -asked by the professor-it was a rhetorical question
44 You can quote lines from the movie "Malice" -you believe them
45 You can flip your pen over your thumb - with both hands- you do so throughout class
46 You have corrected a professor in class -the rest of the class didn't understand the lecture to begin with
47 You know how to calculate specificity-positive predictive value DING!
48 - anion gap HUH?
49 -you can't balance your checkbook
50 You don't know what the weather was like for the past week IT'S SOCAL - WEATHER IS ALWAYS HOT AND SUNNY!!
51 You don't know what the weather is like right now
52 You actually talk in open ended questions DING!
53 DIC isn't a slang term for the penis in your book DING!
54 You think B- is a bad grade DING!
55 you have stressed about a pass/fail class
56 You study during most of your meals
57 You saw nothing abnormal about the Obsessive-Compulsive
Disorder DING!
58 You draw all of the slides not already provided in the
handouts -including the cartoons (humourous type)
59 Anatomy makes you hungry
60 You would even consider saying "Ease back on my finger at
your own pace" DING!
61 You know the size of a RBC DING!
62 - you don't know the size of a football field
63 Your eyesight has worsened by 10 pts or more in the last year DING!
64 You have the library hours memorized DING!
65 Hou have your own seat in the library DING!
66 You score more than 95 on the Epidemiology final DING!
67 You own more than one white coat DING!
68 You have debated between giving up sleep or eating in order
to find more time to study DING!
69 You started studying for boards more than 2 months in
advance DING!
70 You have never received a personal invitation to discuss
your grades with the dean DING
71 A tie is the only addition necessary to what you normally
wear when you go to see patients
72 You wear scrubs to tests DING!
73 You have made plans to study on a beach during vacatioN - you actually did DING!
74 You have a designated seat in lecture DING!
75 - You have ever asked someone to move from "your seat" DING!
76 You sleep less than 4 hrs a night -you think that is plenty -you have thought about cutting back
77 You study more than 35 hrs outsid of class DING!
78 -you think you are a slackard DING!
79 you think everyone answers yes to most of these questions DING!
80 You can not understand what everyone else does with all their free time DING!
81 You still have nightmares about the MCAT DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!
90 You can't count anymore because new knowledge has pushed out non essential information DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!

Scale
<20 - You're not in Med school. Go back to your party and
leave us alone. We have work to do.
20-35 Either Med school is a breeze or you like the sound of
"Senor doctor"
35-45 Gotta love that Primary Care
45-60 Well, I never really thought about MD/Phd, but now that
you mention it...
60-75 Your social life is shot, might as well try to earn lots
of money
75-90 Which surgery subspecialty did you say you liked?
90 All hail, great Med School Nerd master

I wish this was a long weekend for me. Technically, it is, since I am off on Monday and will be celebrating at BBQs tonight, tomorrow and Monday. But I still have 7 hours of lecture to re-listen to (because it was that hard the first time!) and 100 different heart arrhythmias and EKG patterns to learn. So, it really will be a longweekend.

Also, as promised, here are those articles (Jurassic Spark: Paleontologist Named SOMA's Educator of the Year; and WesternU/COMP Professor Named Northup Educator of the Year.) about my very good friend and advisor Beth, in which I am quoted and pictured (casting her leg). Check em out! She deserves all the credit she gets for an outstanding job!

On a final note, the hospital visit went OK - it was brief, and consisted of me walking around in a little hospital gown with all my pieces and parts hanging out for a few hours having a bunch of tests run (radiographs, ultrasounds, etc.). I won't know the results until next week sometime. Fingers crossed!

Last night we had the kick-off welcoming party for the Western University Gay/Straight Alliance at my favorite stomping ground, the historic Buffalo Inn. As an officer of the club, it was my duty to help arrange the festivities, and naturally I chose my new favorite haunt. Here's a photo of the club officers, courtesy of Dizzle.

Right to left: me, Molly (DO2009), Dizzle (PharmD09), Kristen (DO2009, and Brian (DO2009).

More pics to come!

I am tired. As evidenced by the complete lack of spell checking on my last post. I am still nursing a post-exam mental collapse. It was one tough son of a bitch.

I can't believe tomorrow is Thursday already. The past 2 days were a blur - probably because I was still in the "zone." Ugh.

Tomorrow we have 4 fun-filled hours of cardiac arrhythmias, followed by coronary circulation. Friday I get to spend the day in the hospital - not as the doctor, but as the patient. Woo. hoo.

Hopefully, I am not terribly ill - I am not really good in the patient role - especially now that I know as much as I do.

For those of you who light the votive candles and pray - this might be a good time to break out the matches... stupid tumors.

Sorry for the downtime - we were experiencing technichal difficulties her, and I had a HUGE cardio exam to study for (got a big ol B, thank you!!!), plus have a friend in town visiting. Needless to say, I was negligent with fixing this site.

But we're all set, and are ready to get back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Today's new toy purchase ... because I am losing my hearing and my "old" stethoscope was no longer doing the trick. As far as I could tell, all my patients should have been dead because they didn't have an audible heartbeat.

F'n $270!! And that was the sale price!!

Getting old is getting expensive. Jeez.

What?!?!

Deb has discovered the joy of homemade sangria ... one jug down, and another to go!

Meanwhile, I am obsessing with installing new med tools on my Treo. (Still haven't bought the new Q, or Chocolate, or anything else, except my Razr.)

Today, it was epocrates. Later, it will be whatever else I can do to distract me from reading about premature ventricular contractions and v tach.

1 week down, and 1 to go until Cardiovascular Exam 1. So far, I feel OK. We are currently learning how to read 12 lead EKGs, which isn't as easy as it initially appears. (Thanks for the help, Marc! You rule! All Hail King Marc!)

We are also learning intense physiology from a professor who is as monotone and dry as the teacher in Ferris Beuller's Day Off. By 11:30am yesterday, 8 of us were so bored, we decided to have a virtual orgy in a Trillian chat room, so we could bitch and moan and discuss a certain someone's racy dream about yours truly. Yes, when med students get stressed beyond the norm, we turn to juvenile 7th grade antics like fart jokes, bathroom humor, and asking questions like "you did what to me in your dream??" or "do you like her like her ... or just like her?" (OK, so it was more like "do you want to sleep with her in Vegas? Or just cuddle?")

Sad and pathetic. But hey, at least I didn't go to the raging keg party last night (I actually can't recall the last time I went to a 'kegger'). In fact, I was in bed by 10.30, after having fallen asleep on the couch with the EKG book on my face.

Today, I aim to get caught up on reviewing the past week's material, and tomorrow it's off to Disneyland with Deb, Beth, Darwin, and the gang.

PS - you all need to start leaving some comments - this is an interactive space, you know, and I can't do all the entertaining! Jeez! :)

Apparently, I got my mojo on. So much so, Peri has had to beat several women off me with sticks this week, inclu